To

[Guest guest]

,

I have Medicare and Blue Care. Blue Care is Tenn Care. We had Medicaid but it

was changed to Tenn Care. It is a mess. But I will call Medicare to see if

they could help in anyway. I know that my family said that they would do car

washes, garage sales or what ever needs to be done to help. And I am sure

that my church will help, as other churches in the area. I really hate to ask

for help. But this is a time of need and can't be helped. I do pray that God

will bless those that can help and those that would like too but just can't

afford it. I am still waiting on my SS check to start back.

I hope that I can take my back pay and pay my house payment and car payment

and be a month ahead. That way won't have to worry. He is trying to

FMLA (Family Medical Leave Assistance) where he works. If he is approved,

then he will be able to take off and it not count against him. So pray that,

that will work out also.

I would love to go to Dr. Sutherland, but with Tenn Care you have to stay

instate.

At least I know that Dr. Behrman in Memphis has done the islet cell

transplant.

I just pray to God that I have enough good cells to work. I have had this

disease for 12 years and have already had 2 operations on my pancreas.

But the Lord knows best and I will know more once I go for my consultation.

Thanks to you and everyone else that has been so nice and understanding.

I told , That when I get through the surgery and straightened out with

my finances, I would love to be able to go to one of the symposiums. It would

be so wonderful to meet others face to face that have the same problems the

we do.

But I know that if I should die I am ready to meet the Lord, and I hope that

everyone is ready also. So, if we are all ready to meet the Lord, then if we

don't get to meet here in this life, then we can meet by the river or on the

streets of gold in our glorified body. Can you imagine having a body that

will never have to suffer any more pain or sorrow. That is enough to make me

to want to go to heaven. I know that there will be streets of gold and gates

of pearl. But if none of that would not be there, that would be fine. As long

as I get to see Jesus. That will be worth everything.

If I go before you do, As the song goes " Just Look for me at Jesus Feet. "

Everything that I went through, all the pain and suffering will be worth it

after all.

Even as bad as the pain is from pancreatitis, it is not worth me turning back

on Jesus and going hell. There is nothing in this life worth dying and going

to hell over.

I don't want you to think that I am preaching to you, cause I am not. I am

just stating how I feel. And I hope to see you all someday. May the Lord be

with you all and ease your pain.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

,

I have Medicare and Blue Care. Blue Care is Tenn Care. We had Medicaid but it

was changed to Tenn Care. It is a mess. But I will call Medicare to see if

they could help in anyway. I know that my family said that they would do car

washes, garage sales or what ever needs to be done to help. And I am sure

that my church will help, as other churches in the area. I really hate to ask

for help. But this is a time of need and can't be helped. I do pray that God

will bless those that can help and those that would like too but just can't

afford it. I am still waiting on my SS check to start back.

I hope that I can take my back pay and pay my house payment and car payment

and be a month ahead. That way won't have to worry. He is trying to

FMLA (Family Medical Leave Assistance) where he works. If he is approved,

then he will be able to take off and it not count against him. So pray that,

that will work out also.

I would love to go to Dr. Sutherland, but with Tenn Care you have to stay

instate.

At least I know that Dr. Behrman in Memphis has done the islet cell

transplant.

I just pray to God that I have enough good cells to work. I have had this

disease for 12 years and have already had 2 operations on my pancreas.

But the Lord knows best and I will know more once I go for my consultation.

Thanks to you and everyone else that has been so nice and understanding.

I told , That when I get through the surgery and straightened out with

my finances, I would love to be able to go to one of the symposiums. It would

be so wonderful to meet others face to face that have the same problems the

we do.

But I know that if I should die I am ready to meet the Lord, and I hope that

everyone is ready also. So, if we are all ready to meet the Lord, then if we

don't get to meet here in this life, then we can meet by the river or on the

streets of gold in our glorified body. Can you imagine having a body that

will never have to suffer any more pain or sorrow. That is enough to make me

to want to go to heaven. I know that there will be streets of gold and gates

of pearl. But if none of that would not be there, that would be fine. As long

as I get to see Jesus. That will be worth everything.

If I go before you do, As the song goes " Just Look for me at Jesus Feet. "

Everything that I went through, all the pain and suffering will be worth it

after all.

Even as bad as the pain is from pancreatitis, it is not worth me turning back

on Jesus and going hell. There is nothing in this life worth dying and going

to hell over.

I don't want you to think that I am preaching to you, cause I am not. I am

just stating how I feel. And I hope to see you all someday. May the Lord be

with you all and ease your pain.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

I can't say I live there now but I spent my younger days hopping around

Central and South Central Illinois. I lived in Peoria, Washington,

Bloomington-Normal, Livingston & Benld.

Hmmmmm. Is it something in the water maybe?

Chuck

At 10:07 PM 7/12/2002 -0500, you wrote:

> " I am from Central Illinois. However, I will travel long distances for

>great care. Thank you

> Ihnow "

>

>,

> I am from Central Illinois as well. I live in a town 45 miles south of

>Champaign, right off of I 57. Where do you live?

>

>Cheryl -- also in Central Illinois

>

Chuck Sullivan

" When in command, Take charge. When faced with a decision, do what is

right. Nothing else matters. " - Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf

[Guest guest]

I can't say I live there now but I spent my younger days hopping around

Central and South Central Illinois. I lived in Peoria, Washington,

Bloomington-Normal, Livingston & Benld.

Hmmmmm. Is it something in the water maybe?

Chuck

At 10:07 PM 7/12/2002 -0500, you wrote:

> " I am from Central Illinois. However, I will travel long distances for

>great care. Thank you

> Ihnow "

>

>,

> I am from Central Illinois as well. I live in a town 45 miles south of

>Champaign, right off of I 57. Where do you live?

>

>Cheryl -- also in Central Illinois

>

Chuck Sullivan

" When in command, Take charge. When faced with a decision, do what is

right. Nothing else matters. " - Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf

[Guest guest]

I live in a town about 10 miles north of Peoria

To

" I am from Central Illinois. However, I will travel long distances for

great care. Thank you

Ihnow "

,

I am from Central Illinois as well. I live in a town 45 miles south of

Champaign, right off of I 57. Where do you live?

Cheryl -- also in Central Illinois

[Guest guest]

I live in a town about 10 miles north of Peoria

To

" I am from Central Illinois. However, I will travel long distances for

great care. Thank you

Ihnow "

,

I am from Central Illinois as well. I live in a town 45 miles south of

Champaign, right off of I 57. Where do you live?

Cheryl -- also in Central Illinois

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you, you always have words of encouragement.

And THANK YOU for the PRAYERS. Prayers will help

more than anything.

May the Lord Richly Bless You.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you, you always have words of encouragement.

And THANK YOU for the PRAYERS. Prayers will help

more than anything.

May the Lord Richly Bless You.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you, you always have words of encouragement.

And THANK YOU for the PRAYERS. Prayers will help

more than anything.

May the Lord Richly Bless You.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you, you always have words of encouragement.

And THANK YOU for the PRAYERS. Prayers will help

more than anything.

May the Lord Richly Bless You.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you so much for the happy birthday. You are a wonderful and caring

person.

I love reading your emails, they are filled with uplifting words and have

helped me a lot. And thanks for saying that I am not over the hill, even

though I feel like it,lol.

May the Lord richly bless you.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you so much for the happy birthday. You are a wonderful and caring

person.

I love reading your emails, they are filled with uplifting words and have

helped me a lot. And thanks for saying that I am not over the hill, even

though I feel like it,lol.

May the Lord richly bless you.

Lots of Love and Hugs,

Tammy - TN

[Guest guest]

HI ! You asked if my daycare provider gave peanut butter. She does but it's not very often. She is aware of Josie allergies and is very careful. Her new daycare currently only has 2 other children. The woman is licensed but prefers to keep it small. So she has her 4 yr old daughter (named !) and a 3 yr old boy who she has watched since an infant. So it is very easy for her to keep an eye on the kids if someone does have peanut butter.

At the center we were at, in the infant room (which was up to 16 mos), lots of infants had peanut butter (kind of young!) and they just kept her away from it. Once she moved into the toddler room, the teachers asked me if I wanted them to send a note to the parents telling them not to send peanut butter. I decided NOT to have them do this. My reasoning for this was...we found that the staff in the toddler room we lazy and not as attentive as they should be (which is one of the reasons we left). So, I didn't want to take a chance on a parent forgetting and sending peanut butter and the staff not being prepared for it. I wanted them to expect peanut butter so they would keep an eye open for it and be prepared rather than not expect it and not be prepared if something were to happen....

I think it would be impossible to find a provider that didn't include some sort of peanut. I can't tell you how many people we interviewed but I'm so glad we changed the criteria to be pet free. Good luck in your search!

Missy

Sorry to hear Josie had a reaction to the dog hair. We don't allow

Ethan near any cats or dogs as he tested positive to them and there

are a lot of family members allergic to both. I'm currently trying to

find daycare for Ethan and "no pets" is one of my requirements.

I have a question for you since I see Josie is allergic to peanuts.

Does your provider give peanut butter to the other children? I'm not

sure I will have much luck finding a provider that doesn't feed

peanut butter.

Ethan 12/3/01 dairy, eggs, peanuts, bananas

[Guest guest]

HI ! You asked if my daycare provider gave peanut butter. She does but it's not very often. She is aware of Josie allergies and is very careful. Her new daycare currently only has 2 other children. The woman is licensed but prefers to keep it small. So she has her 4 yr old daughter (named !) and a 3 yr old boy who she has watched since an infant. So it is very easy for her to keep an eye on the kids if someone does have peanut butter.

At the center we were at, in the infant room (which was up to 16 mos), lots of infants had peanut butter (kind of young!) and they just kept her away from it. Once she moved into the toddler room, the teachers asked me if I wanted them to send a note to the parents telling them not to send peanut butter. I decided NOT to have them do this. My reasoning for this was...we found that the staff in the toddler room we lazy and not as attentive as they should be (which is one of the reasons we left). So, I didn't want to take a chance on a parent forgetting and sending peanut butter and the staff not being prepared for it. I wanted them to expect peanut butter so they would keep an eye open for it and be prepared rather than not expect it and not be prepared if something were to happen....

I think it would be impossible to find a provider that didn't include some sort of peanut. I can't tell you how many people we interviewed but I'm so glad we changed the criteria to be pet free. Good luck in your search!

Missy

Sorry to hear Josie had a reaction to the dog hair. We don't allow

Ethan near any cats or dogs as he tested positive to them and there

are a lot of family members allergic to both. I'm currently trying to

find daycare for Ethan and "no pets" is one of my requirements.

I have a question for you since I see Josie is allergic to peanuts.

Does your provider give peanut butter to the other children? I'm not

sure I will have much luck finding a provider that doesn't feed

peanut butter.

Ethan 12/3/01 dairy, eggs, peanuts, bananas

[Guest guest]

HI ! You asked if my daycare provider gave peanut butter. She does but it's not very often. She is aware of Josie allergies and is very careful. Her new daycare currently only has 2 other children. The woman is licensed but prefers to keep it small. So she has her 4 yr old daughter (named !) and a 3 yr old boy who she has watched since an infant. So it is very easy for her to keep an eye on the kids if someone does have peanut butter.

At the center we were at, in the infant room (which was up to 16 mos), lots of infants had peanut butter (kind of young!) and they just kept her away from it. Once she moved into the toddler room, the teachers asked me if I wanted them to send a note to the parents telling them not to send peanut butter. I decided NOT to have them do this. My reasoning for this was...we found that the staff in the toddler room we lazy and not as attentive as they should be (which is one of the reasons we left). So, I didn't want to take a chance on a parent forgetting and sending peanut butter and the staff not being prepared for it. I wanted them to expect peanut butter so they would keep an eye open for it and be prepared rather than not expect it and not be prepared if something were to happen....

I think it would be impossible to find a provider that didn't include some sort of peanut. I can't tell you how many people we interviewed but I'm so glad we changed the criteria to be pet free. Good luck in your search!

Missy

Sorry to hear Josie had a reaction to the dog hair. We don't allow

Ethan near any cats or dogs as he tested positive to them and there

are a lot of family members allergic to both. I'm currently trying to

find daycare for Ethan and "no pets" is one of my requirements.

I have a question for you since I see Josie is allergic to peanuts.

Does your provider give peanut butter to the other children? I'm not

sure I will have much luck finding a provider that doesn't feed

peanut butter.

Ethan 12/3/01 dairy, eggs, peanuts, bananas

[Guest guest]

Hey

I read the nice things you said to Elaine. Reading your story I felt like

you were telling mine. I also lost my baby boy on June 02, 2002 and my baby

girl March 27, 3003 and feel the same way as you do. I did not deliver the

placenta and had to endure all the rest that comes with it. It sometimes seems

like a dream in whice I am not sure I was in. They finally drug me at the end

of

the extreme pain and I feel like I lost so much time with both my babies.

Although I know I will see them again, I just wish I could have spend more

quality time with them without feeling so in a daze.

Just wanted to share with you guys.

Love Rosie

[Guest guest]

Hey

I read the nice things you said to Elaine. Reading your story I felt like

you were telling mine. I also lost my baby boy on June 02, 2002 and my baby

girl March 27, 3003 and feel the same way as you do. I did not deliver the

placenta and had to endure all the rest that comes with it. It sometimes seems

like a dream in whice I am not sure I was in. They finally drug me at the end

of

the extreme pain and I feel like I lost so much time with both my babies.

Although I know I will see them again, I just wish I could have spend more

quality time with them without feeling so in a daze.

Just wanted to share with you guys.

Love Rosie

[Guest guest]

Yeah, the smaller setting is wonderful! In the center, Josie was sick every other week. She hasn't been sick in 7 weeks now!

Good luck with your search!

Missy

Wow, I want to find a daycare with only 3 kids. That would be ideal.

I found one woman to interview that doesn't serve peanut butter but

she is out of our school district. I prefer to find someone who will

watch my 2 girls when they get out of school.

[Guest guest]

Yeah, the smaller setting is wonderful! In the center, Josie was sick every other week. She hasn't been sick in 7 weeks now!

Good luck with your search!

Missy

Wow, I want to find a daycare with only 3 kids. That would be ideal.

I found one woman to interview that doesn't serve peanut butter but

she is out of our school district. I prefer to find someone who will

watch my 2 girls when they get out of school.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/03 5:28:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Gastric_Bypass_Family writes:

> ,

> Hi! I somewhat know what you are going thru. I have been diagnosed with

> PTSD with panic attacks and flashbacks. I was diagnosed a year ago. Back in

> July, I was found disabled by the state.

>

> Are you on meds? I take a generic Prozac (Fluoxetine), Hydroxyzine, and

> Trazodone (for sleep). I see a shrink once a month, and I have been on a

> waiting list to see a therapist for one-on-one and a support group for 4

months.

> Yep! I called on Thursday and complained to the head huncho about it. (That

> took a lot for me to do!)

>

> As far as the nurse is concerned, I understand, lol ! I have my 1st meeting

> set up for Nov. 4th. (Mind you, it took me 4 days to get up the nerve to

> call and set up the appt.!) When I got thru, a nurse asked me some basic

> questions and then said, " Well, if you want to come to the meeting, it's ok.

But,

> it's a waste of your time because you don't meet the requirements. " I asked

> her what she meant. She basically said I wasn't fat enough! I made the

> appt. anyways and asked for directions. She said them so fast that I asked

her

> to repeat it. Boy, she was p*ssed! I hung up the phone and cried my eyes

> out for 1/2 an hour!

>

> Is there another dr. in your area? Have you tried looking on O.H? It's a

> good site.

>

> , I know how hard it is. You just have to take 1 hour by 1 hour, day

> by day. And, give yourself a pat on your back for getting thru the day. It

> may sound stupid, but sometimes I smile.

>

> If you want, you can contact me directly, ok?

>

> You take care,

> Cheryl

Hiya Cheryl,

Thank you for your encouragement and your help with compassionate tone. But

I also am so very sorry for your experience as well with a horrible nurse. To

make this short, yes, I am going to search for a new doctor/nurse, if I can I

will look through that and get my records sent to the new doctor/nurse for

processing before I get in so they can see what's up. If I cannot do that, I am

going to make sure that I see the doctor and not the nurse - or have some

private time with the doctor - before I see the nurse (I do have to get a B-12

shot.) I will report to him my problems and how I've pretty much been degraded

by his nurse who is acting as if she was a doctor of psychiatry. Some good

news is that for the past four days now, even though I still have the sugar

problem, it's been cut down - I'm still working on eliminating it - and I have

been

doing exercises everyday - so I am back to exercising! And really, I'm

loving it! I'm hoping to get into some more workouts soon. Take care, be well,

much love.

~

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/21/03 5:28:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

Gastric_Bypass_Family writes:

> ,

> Hi! I somewhat know what you are going thru. I have been diagnosed with

> PTSD with panic attacks and flashbacks. I was diagnosed a year ago. Back in

> July, I was found disabled by the state.

>

> Are you on meds? I take a generic Prozac (Fluoxetine), Hydroxyzine, and

> Trazodone (for sleep). I see a shrink once a month, and I have been on a

> waiting list to see a therapist for one-on-one and a support group for 4

months.

> Yep! I called on Thursday and complained to the head huncho about it. (That

> took a lot for me to do!)

>

> As far as the nurse is concerned, I understand, lol ! I have my 1st meeting

> set up for Nov. 4th. (Mind you, it took me 4 days to get up the nerve to

> call and set up the appt.!) When I got thru, a nurse asked me some basic

> questions and then said, " Well, if you want to come to the meeting, it's ok.

But,

> it's a waste of your time because you don't meet the requirements. " I asked

> her what she meant. She basically said I wasn't fat enough! I made the

> appt. anyways and asked for directions. She said them so fast that I asked

her

> to repeat it. Boy, she was p*ssed! I hung up the phone and cried my eyes

> out for 1/2 an hour!

>

> Is there another dr. in your area? Have you tried looking on O.H? It's a

> good site.

>

> , I know how hard it is. You just have to take 1 hour by 1 hour, day

> by day. And, give yourself a pat on your back for getting thru the day. It

> may sound stupid, but sometimes I smile.

>

> If you want, you can contact me directly, ok?

>

> You take care,

> Cheryl

Hiya Cheryl,

Thank you for your encouragement and your help with compassionate tone. But

I also am so very sorry for your experience as well with a horrible nurse. To

make this short, yes, I am going to search for a new doctor/nurse, if I can I

will look through that and get my records sent to the new doctor/nurse for

processing before I get in so they can see what's up. If I cannot do that, I am

going to make sure that I see the doctor and not the nurse - or have some

private time with the doctor - before I see the nurse (I do have to get a B-12

shot.) I will report to him my problems and how I've pretty much been degraded

by his nurse who is acting as if she was a doctor of psychiatry. Some good

news is that for the past four days now, even though I still have the sugar

problem, it's been cut down - I'm still working on eliminating it - and I have

been

doing exercises everyday - so I am back to exercising! And really, I'm

loving it! I'm hoping to get into some more workouts soon. Take care, be well,

much love.

~

[Guest guest]

Hi -

My 3 mo. anniversary is on Friday. I was due Feb. 1st. How about

you? We will have to help each other through the first year. They

say that is the hardest.

The bad thing about work is I work side by side with a woman who

complains about everything! I feel at any minute I am going to give

her something to complain about. Right after I returned to work

(after the loss and " maternity leave " ) she complained to my boss

that I had excessive personal phone calls and that I was distracting

to her. Now, keep in mind this is only 2-3 weeks after I came back

to work. I was even worse off with my emotions then than now so you

can imagine when they confronted me I went nuts. I told my 2

attorneys (that I work for) that if they did not like my " excessive

phone calls " they could take this job and shove it up their *ss! I

said those exact words (they are my age so it was like I was talking

to a friend, plus they are cool) I told them I did have phone calls

that pertained to chromosome studies of my dead child, calls from the

cemetary and calls from Dr. (who will perform my ab if I ever

get pd) and that I will continue to take all those calls. So, of

course they told me there was no problem.

I could not believe that someone like this lady could be so

insensitive to my situation. It absolutely shocked me that she would

tell on me like that. I was ready to tell all of these people to go

to hell. Nobody could understand what I was feeling. They just

think how could I be so upset over a baby I did not know. But I

don't expect them to understand.

ANyways, sorry you had to listen to all my problems. But I

appreciate all your advise.

Lets keep in touch.

Mandy

-- In Abbyloopers , " "

wrote:

> Mandy,

> I will be thinking of you today. I really feel for you. My loss

> was around the same time as yours (aug). For some reason I thought

> it would be must easier than this 3 months down the road. I also

> have so many ups and downs it hits me like a brick. I now know

what

> a truley depressed person feels like. There are times nothing can

> be done to cheer me up or help me " snap out of it " . it is just a

> deep dark hole, sometime down and sometimes up. Everyone said

there

> would be ups and downs and I wasn't sure what that meant until

> recently. I am sorry you are having a down day. We just have to

> keep pusking through. Sometimes I give up trying to " cheer " myself

> up but instead I tell myself if I can just make it through the day

> there will be a better day ahead. Last week was a horrible week

for

> me. I work with special needs infants and work really got to me

> last week. Each night I came home and cried. Last week was also

> just before my 3 month anniversary. I felt better after saturday

> the 22nd. We went to the cemetary. This week is going better. It

> is sometimes hard to find the triggers to the ups and downs. I

hope

> you find some up time soon. Its been 3 months and you've made it

> this far. You have a beautiful angel baby helping you through

> this. It is ok to be sad and cry cry cry. Sometimes I feel better

> after I let it out. I know it must be hard at work since you have

> to hold yourself together. Anyway, I am thinking about you today.

> Is your 3 month anniversary on Friday? Do you plan to do anything?

> When was your due date? I am sure it was close to mine.

>

> Love,

>

> Mom to Angel Tucker 8/22/03 (22 weeks, failed emergent cerclage)

>

>

>

> > Hi everyone -

> >

> > I can already tell it is going to be a bad day. I don't

> understand

> > how for several weeks I feel so good and then all of the sudden I

> get

> > so down about my loss. Do you ever do this? It is like it

> happened

> > yesterday. I just want to go home and get in the bed and sleep

it

> > off! I can't, I have to be at work! I am wondering if it is

> related

> > to the three month anniversary this Friday.

> >

> > Please think of me today. I need some strength to get through.

> >

> > Mandy

[Guest guest]

Hi -

My 3 mo. anniversary is on Friday. I was due Feb. 1st. How about

you? We will have to help each other through the first year. They

say that is the hardest.

The bad thing about work is I work side by side with a woman who

complains about everything! I feel at any minute I am going to give

her something to complain about. Right after I returned to work

(after the loss and " maternity leave " ) she complained to my boss

that I had excessive personal phone calls and that I was distracting

to her. Now, keep in mind this is only 2-3 weeks after I came back

to work. I was even worse off with my emotions then than now so you

can imagine when they confronted me I went nuts. I told my 2

attorneys (that I work for) that if they did not like my " excessive

phone calls " they could take this job and shove it up their *ss! I

said those exact words (they are my age so it was like I was talking

to a friend, plus they are cool) I told them I did have phone calls

that pertained to chromosome studies of my dead child, calls from the

cemetary and calls from Dr. (who will perform my ab if I ever

get pd) and that I will continue to take all those calls. So, of

course they told me there was no problem.

I could not believe that someone like this lady could be so

insensitive to my situation. It absolutely shocked me that she would

tell on me like that. I was ready to tell all of these people to go

to hell. Nobody could understand what I was feeling. They just

think how could I be so upset over a baby I did not know. But I

don't expect them to understand.

ANyways, sorry you had to listen to all my problems. But I

appreciate all your advise.

Lets keep in touch.

Mandy

-- In Abbyloopers , " "

wrote:

> Mandy,

> I will be thinking of you today. I really feel for you. My loss

> was around the same time as yours (aug). For some reason I thought

> it would be must easier than this 3 months down the road. I also

> have so many ups and downs it hits me like a brick. I now know

what

> a truley depressed person feels like. There are times nothing can

> be done to cheer me up or help me " snap out of it " . it is just a

> deep dark hole, sometime down and sometimes up. Everyone said

there

> would be ups and downs and I wasn't sure what that meant until

> recently. I am sorry you are having a down day. We just have to

> keep pusking through. Sometimes I give up trying to " cheer " myself

> up but instead I tell myself if I can just make it through the day

> there will be a better day ahead. Last week was a horrible week

for

> me. I work with special needs infants and work really got to me

> last week. Each night I came home and cried. Last week was also

> just before my 3 month anniversary. I felt better after saturday

> the 22nd. We went to the cemetary. This week is going better. It

> is sometimes hard to find the triggers to the ups and downs. I

hope

> you find some up time soon. Its been 3 months and you've made it

> this far. You have a beautiful angel baby helping you through

> this. It is ok to be sad and cry cry cry. Sometimes I feel better

> after I let it out. I know it must be hard at work since you have

> to hold yourself together. Anyway, I am thinking about you today.

> Is your 3 month anniversary on Friday? Do you plan to do anything?

> When was your due date? I am sure it was close to mine.

>

> Love,

>

> Mom to Angel Tucker 8/22/03 (22 weeks, failed emergent cerclage)

>

>

>

> > Hi everyone -

> >

> > I can already tell it is going to be a bad day. I don't

> understand

> > how for several weeks I feel so good and then all of the sudden I

> get

> > so down about my loss. Do you ever do this? It is like it

> happened

> > yesterday. I just want to go home and get in the bed and sleep

it

> > off! I can't, I have to be at work! I am wondering if it is

> related

> > to the three month anniversary this Friday.

> >

> > Please think of me today. I need some strength to get through.

> >

> > Mandy

[Guest guest]

Mandy,

TTC is a difficult decision. When you both are ready would be the right time. We never waited more than a couple of months. I don't think we will ever get over our losses. Our children we have lost are a permanent part of our lives. Living with the pain and sadness does get easier over time, but we will always remember.

Love,Brayden Austin 06-02-03}Angel{ Trustin Cody 07-17-02}Angel{ Cheyenne 6-12-00

> > > > > > > Hi everyone - > > > > > > > > For those of you who have suffered a loss, how long after your > > > loss > > > > to you begin ttc? My husband and I are thinking we are > ready. > > It > > > > has only been 3 months. My theory is if I wait until I get > over > > > my > > > > loss I will never get pregnant. I doubt I will ever get over > > it. > > > > So why not go forward? My doc said I need to wait 3 cycles > and > > > that > > > > is it. > > > > > > > > Mandy

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I am sure it was ackward hearing a baby especially after you found

out who it was. That is strange nobody told you about his Aunt. Yo

would think they would forewarn you. I am sorry you had to go

through that. If you had known at least you could have prepared for

it.

I am doing much better now. Thanks for the encouragement.

Mandy

> > > > > > Hi everyone -

> > > > > >

> > > > > > For those of you who have suffered a loss, how long

after

> > your

> > > > > loss

> > > > > > to you begin ttc? My husband and I are thinking we are

> > > ready.

> > > > It

> > > > > > has only been 3 months. My theory is if I wait until I

> get

> > > over

> > > > > my

> > > > > > loss I will never get pregnant. I doubt I will ever get

> > over

> > > > it.

> > > > > > So why not go forward? My doc said I need to wait 3

> cycles

> > > and

> > > > > that

> > > > > > is it.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Mandy