Re: Ghislaine/Shona

[Guest guest]

Hey Shona,

I understand what you were trying to say...and I know you know all

the fears to well, dealing with PCOS and having lost ....I by no

means want to say that having a preemie and being a angelmother is a

plain sailing. On the contrary!! I am a preemie myself, who thank God

came through without NEC etc....once I continued breathing on my own.

I only have a deformed cervix. My brother has a chronic disease...I

have seen the toll it took on my parents and my brother..

My hd has a chronic bone disease which our child has a 50% of

inheriting. We struggled 2 yrs with the decision whether to have

natural children. We are still so " naive " to think we can deal with a

child with this chronic disease after consultations and discussions

with all docs and members of the patientgroup who are parents as well.

When we finally decided, we got two angel sons. Must be an irony of

faith.....I just wanted to say, (and perhaps I am weird in that), in

my case my instincts are not so overpowering to overcome my fear at

the moment...So that is why I am waffeling back and forward about TTC

daily..I just wish the decision was taken for me. Can somebody help

me out here please...???:-)))

I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through with your little

girl. When I Prommed with our second son @ 24.5 wks, we had a long

talk with the docs about what would be the risks and dangers of

having a preemie. In principle they do not threat children born under

26 wks here, but in my case they were willing to make an exception,

if our child was born at 25.+ wks. I must say that I have always been

kinda grateful that the decision was taken for us, since Kamil was

stillborn. Do not get me wrong, like you I was desperate for my child

to live... but I was also very afraid what the child would have to

suffer being so premature... I would have been very happy if he had

lived and we had him here with us. I would have loved and cared for

my child with all the love in my heart regardless if it would have

had handicaps and illness because of premature birth, and we would

have managed, but I was also very aware that it would be hard...for

my child, but also for us as parents. Dealing with my hd's disease

and watch him suffer is already hard enough, but watch my child

suffer...that is an even harder, I think...

So I understand that your decision to TTC again is hard, because you

lived through it all already. You know what is at stake. You have

lost a child and allmost lost your daughter who has had surgery

etc....which is heartbreak for parents and a burden on a family. I do

not have that experience and that might make it easier...

but I just wanted to point out that in my case my instinct is not

working that way to overcome my fear at the moment. It just took an

enormous long winded e-mail to say it again. But I completely

understand your dilemma and the difficulties of your decision, just

as I know you understand mine.

love and blessings,

Ghislaine

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