Hello New Member Barbara

[Guest guest]

Hi Barbara,

Welcome to this group. HUGGSS for your losses....it is so hard, and I am so

sorry for you not to get any emotional support from your family and friends.

I hope here you will find the support you need. I know how hard it is....I

lost also two babies within 13 months. It is almost a year ago now and I am

now more or less a bit on my feet.

Do not let yourself being pressured by your surroundings to " get back to

normal " . You have been through an awful ordeal...it will take time. Give

yourself the time....I know these reactions from people. People just have a

hard time dealing with grief and death. But you need time to grieve about

your children. You love them so much and you miss them so much. They deserve

the time you spent on thinking about them with all your love and shedding

your tears. I also used to get these reactions from people when I mention my

children. But I have learned that I have to keep talking about them to other

people. Of course people want to change subject. But I will first say what I

have to say and then we can change the subject. So what if they get

disturbed??? If they see that you can talk about it, they will get less

disturbed is my experience....But it is very hard....Listen to your heart

and do not let yourself being pushed.

About your ab appointment: I think what you also have to ask is what exams

she will do now befor you start considering TTC again. Is she going to look

at your uterus and cervix to make sure that everything else is okay. Let

them measure your cervix non pg.

This is the list of questions I got from , who is also on this board,

when I went to my first appt. I found it very helpful.

all the best wishes,

Ghislaine

Angel 12/19/2001 @ 22 wks no cerclage

Angel Kamil 01/02/2003 @ 24 wks failed emergency vag. cerclage.

Message: 6

Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 14:12:14 -0000

Subject: Hello, New Member Barbara

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the warm welcomes. I have been reading some of the past

post to try to familiarize myself with this forum. I can't believe

that there are so many other women just like me. I can really

identify with a lot of the feelings everyone is expressing and it is

a great comfort to know that I am not alone. I have lost two babies

in one year(both 2nd trimester) and I am having a lot of trouble

getting back on my feet emotionally, its especially hard because I

don't get much emotional support from family or friends.... its as

though no one wants to talk about it with me when I try to mention it

they seem to get really disturbed and try to change the subject. I

have been seeing a counselor which does provide some relief. I feel

very pressured to " get back to normal " by everyone around me.

My husband and I have an appointment with a specialist on the 19th of

December to discuss the AB cerclage. The biggest questions I will

have for the dr is what are the success rates for the proceedure and

do you think that I am a good candidate for this proceedure? if so,

why or why not? Also, I will ask her what her personal success rates

are? Can anyone think of any other pertinent questions I should ask

before deciding to go through this proceedure?

Thanks Everyone

Happy Turkey Day!!!!

Barbara