Re: Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

[Guest guest]

Carol-

Again.......hang in there! My family was great....but lots of friends weren't that supportive until Sam went anaphylatic at our allergists office. They finally got it! BUT, I have to say, I even thought "hey it's just allergies, nothing all that big" I mean I had allergies (even food) when I was little. It was an anoyance, but nothing horrible. It really took me awhile to realize that allergies CAN and DO kill kids, and cause major problems! For a long time we had to make our own food and take it wherever we went- even to MIL's! But, now everyone realizes how sick he gets- and they now make "Sam Safe" foods!

Trish (CO)Kayla (5)- No allergies (4)- E/A (2)- anaphlyatic to egg, severely allergic milk, peanuts, all tree nuts, soy, other foodsE/A including dogs & cats. Asthma & eczema

Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

When you ladies found out about your childrens' allergies, did you have any people in your family who didnt really take the threat seriously?

My DH (who seems to be getting the idea now) didnt seem to believe that she was allergic to eggs (or much of anything for that matter) and was mad because he thought it wasnt fair that she couldnt even eat regular birthday cake.. Now, after only 2 days, he is checking labels and asking me whats safe and whats not.. so I am not worried so much about him... its more my MIL.. where she just doesnt seem to take the situation very seriously at all... She says "its just going to be more work for you is all"... as if I have the choice, and I am deciding to do this! She has said a couple times that maybe its just the weather making her skin so bad etc etc... (which I am sure contributes).. but I am just so afraid that (for instance tomorrow) I will come in to see them sneaking her a piece of cake because they feel bad for her.

I know I am being a little paranoid.. and presumptious about how the first family gathering since the diagnosis will go... I am just curious though... has anyone run into this? Where others just roll their eyes and think you are nitpicky?

TIA! : ) Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Yup. My family (dad's a MD, grandpa's MD, uncle's MD, youngest bro

studying to be MD) refuses to take this seriously. The only person who is

starting to listen is my mom, and she's not quite getting it yet! But

they don't live nearby, so on a day to day basis it doesn't matter too

much. Still, we're planning a big family trip in March, and when I

refused to stay in a hotel because I didn't want other people cooking for

Elisha, my dad says, 'but you'll have the Epipen in case he has a

reaction, right? " Wrong. The idea is NO reaction, not one that I can

handle with an Epipen and a quick ambulance ride! Aargh.

We've actually done this dance before with them. Elisha has severe

hemophilia, which means that bumps and bruises have to be medically

managed to get him to clot. But go to my parents house, and they don't

even install child-gates! Other folks dealing with hemophilia tell me

that families that don't live nearby often take forever to 'get it,' if

they do at all. Families that live nearby see us go through our daily

rituals and start to understand how one can build a major adjustment like

an allergy into daily life...and it can be okay.

Good luck!

-Ziva

At 09:57 PM 1/31/04 -0500, you wrote:

When

you ladies found out about your childrens' allergies, did you have any

people in your family who didnt really take the threat

seriously?

My DH (who seems to be

getting the idea now) didnt seem to believe that she was allergic to eggs

(or much of anything for that matter) and was mad because he thought it

wasnt fair that she couldnt even eat regular birthday cake.. Now,

after only 2 days, he is checking labels and asking me whats safe and

whats not.. so I am not worried so much about him... its more my MIL..

where she just doesnt seem to take the situation very seriously at all...

She says " its just going to be more work for you is all " ... as

if I have the choice, and I am deciding to do this! She has said a couple

times that maybe its just the weather making her skin so bad etc etc...

(which I am sure contributes).. but I am just so afraid that (for

instance tomorrow) I will come in to see them sneaking her a piece of

cake because they feel bad for her.

I know I am being a

little paranoid.. and presumptious about how the first family gathering

since the diagnosis will go... I am just curious though... has anyone run

into this? Where others just roll their eyes and think you are

nitpicky?

TIA! : ) Carol

& Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor

shellfish

[Guest guest]

Well...

My MIL thought the whole dairy thing was a bunch of crap but I didn't find

that out until well after Drew had outgrown his allergy. She hasn't been

allowed to be with him without an adult around since (over 2 years). Yes I

said without an adult. I consider her behavior to take her out of the rank.

She told my SIL that it was ridiculous that she had to read everything and

surely a little dairy now and then in something wouldn't hurt him. It

wasn't like she was giving him milk As a result it took him

much longer than necessary to outgrow the allergy, he had eczema problems

that had to be treated with antibiotics, steroids and ointments.

What I would do is sit down with your MIL and explain to her that Sara has

had a severe reaction to eggs and you need to discuss it with her. Print

something out if necessary and tell her that the type of reaction she had

was pretty bad for the type of testing and amount of egg she was given and

that the next time it could be fatal. We taught Drew early on that eating

peanuts could kill him. He might not have understood what that meant when he

was 2 but it sure made adults listen when he would ask if it had peanuts in

it because he didn't want to die. A strong approach I will agree, but

sometimes that is the only way to get people to listen. I would all

acknowledge your MIL's (and yours!!) desire to have Sara experience

everything in life and how you are so sad that she has developed this

problem. Let her know you want her to be on your team to keep Sara healthy

and grow up to be a strong little girl. I'm sure if you put it to her like

she is doing you a favor she might take a better attitude.

If not, you can always let her know that if she doesn't follow your rules

then her contact with Sara will be limited. As I said that is the

unfortunate route we have had to take with my MIL. It wasn't easy for my

husband to take but he understands that if our child's life is at stake then

we can't allow for any margin of error due to her unwillingness to

cooperate.

I hope the birthday party was awesome and Happy Birthday Sara!!

Drew, 8 years, anaphylactic to peanuts, allergic to dogs, environmental

allergies, severe eczema, outgrown dairy!

Mattie, 5 years, no known allergies

, 19 months, no known allergies but avoiding all nuts until she is much

older!----- Original Message -----

When you ladies found out about your childrens' allergies, did you have any

people in your family who didnt really take the threat seriously?

My DH (who seems to be getting the idea now) didnt seem to believe that she

was allergic to eggs (or much of anything for that matter) and was mad

because he thought it wasnt fair that she couldnt even eat regular birthday

cake.. Now, after only 2 days, he is checking labels and asking me whats

safe and whats not.. so I am not worried so much about him... its more my

MIL.. where she just doesnt seem to take the situation very seriously at

all... She says " its just going to be more work for you is all " ... as if I

have the choice, and I am deciding to do this! She has said a couple times

that maybe its just the weather making her skin so bad etc etc... (which I

am sure contributes).. but I am just so afraid that (for instance tomorrow)

I will come in to see them sneaking her a piece of cake because they feel

bad for her.

I know I am being a little paranoid.. and presumptious about how the first

family gathering since the diagnosis will go... I am just curious though...

has anyone run into this? Where others just roll their eyes and think you

are nitpicky?

TIA! : ) Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)... says "so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake?" LOL.. I was like NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.

I think she may have thought that because I was always on the picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!

Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have found here : )

Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)... says "so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake?" LOL.. I was like NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.

I think she may have thought that because I was always on the picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!

Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have found here : )

Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)... says "so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake?" LOL.. I was like NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.

I think she may have thought that because I was always on the picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!

Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have found here : )

Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

Glad it went well. It's always nice when it does. I agree with you regarding sugar overload. Shane is already ten, and for Valentine's Day I made chocolate, Alyssa's recipe, it's in a little baggie with ribbon on it, and I attached Yu-Gi-Oh Cards to it that he wanted, and attached that to a toy. I've always done that, especially at Easter, put other surprises in the basket, and not a lot of candy. Saves on the dentist too.

DonnaShane - asthma - allergic to dairy, eggs, pickles, and olives. Minnesota

Re: Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)... says "so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake?" LOL.. I was like NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.

I think she may have thought that because I was always on the picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!

Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have found here : )

Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

Glad it went well. It's always nice when it does. I agree with you regarding sugar overload. Shane is already ten, and for Valentine's Day I made chocolate, Alyssa's recipe, it's in a little baggie with ribbon on it, and I attached Yu-Gi-Oh Cards to it that he wanted, and attached that to a toy. I've always done that, especially at Easter, put other surprises in the basket, and not a lot of candy. Saves on the dentist too.

DonnaShane - asthma - allergic to dairy, eggs, pickles, and olives. Minnesota

Re: Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)... says "so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake?" LOL.. I was like NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.

I think she may have thought that because I was always on the picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!

Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have found here : )

Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

Glad it went well. It's always nice when it does. I agree with you regarding sugar overload. Shane is already ten, and for Valentine's Day I made chocolate, Alyssa's recipe, it's in a little baggie with ribbon on it, and I attached Yu-Gi-Oh Cards to it that he wanted, and attached that to a toy. I've always done that, especially at Easter, put other surprises in the basket, and not a lot of candy. Saves on the dentist too.

DonnaShane - asthma - allergic to dairy, eggs, pickles, and olives. Minnesota

Re: Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)... says "so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake?" LOL.. I was like NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.

I think she may have thought that because I was always on the picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!

Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have found here : )

Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Carol

My family still thinks that dh and I are WAYYYY to protective of

food items- not with allergies, but everything else! We've NEVER

let our kids have pop or things like that. My family throws fits

thinking I'm just not letting them enjoy stuff- but WHY??? THey are

FINE with water or a natural juice! Why start them WANTING those

other things! We also had never put butter on pancakes- they were

fine with just syrup. I just don't see the need in all the extras!

I'm a person that CRAVES those things - I don't want my kids to be

in the same boat!

Trish

> Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )

Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am

aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and

they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made

me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)...

says " so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake? " LOL.. I was like

NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.

>

> I think she may have thought that because I was always on the

picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving

her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was

so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what

is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always

viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw

the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even

Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins

live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking

the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar

intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!

>

> Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very

supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have

found here : )

>

> Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

Thats the way I see it.. why add all that junk to their diets unneccessarily? Perfect example of why not to... DH's neice, at the age of 5, had to have all her molars capped because of the fact that SIL has been giving those kids iced tea since they could drink from a sippy cup!! They all look at Sara funny when she asks for milk with dinner (I'd die if we had to cut dairy.. thank goodness that was not our issue!!!)... they think, what kid actually asks for milk?!! (and not always chocolate, either!!) MINE!! LOL... she will even say she doesnt like pop... which she doesnt. And she has tasted it.. but I knew she wouldnt like it. : )

I'm even picky about the kind of hot dogs and chicken nuggets I feed DD LOL.. they just dont need all that junk!!! : )

Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

Re: Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

CarolMy family still thinks that dh and I are WAYYYY to protective of food items- not with allergies, but everything else! We've NEVER let our kids have pop or things like that. My family throws fits thinking I'm just not letting them enjoy stuff- but WHY??? THey are FINE with water or a natural juice! Why start them WANTING those other things! We also had never put butter on pancakes- they were fine with just syrup. I just don't see the need in all the extras! I'm a person that CRAVES those things - I don't want my kids to be in the same boat! :)Trish> Thanks ladies for all of your stories and support : )Yesterday'sparty went nicely.. there was no incidents (that I am aware of LOL).. and everyone was more than willing to help.. and they were all very curious about everything... One thing that made me roll my eyes was DH's grandmother (very sweet lady.. LOL)... says "so what did you bring? A sugar-free cake?" LOL.. I was like NO! Its loaded with sugar! Just no eggs! LOL.> > I think she may have thought that because I was always on the picky side about what Sara ate.. I didnt see the need to be giving her chocolates and candy for Easter and Halloween (etc) when she was so young the last couple years. Now that she is older and knows what is going on, of course, I have loosened up, but hey have always viewed me as a little uptight about what she ate... I just never saw the point in letting a baby drink pop or iced tea... even Koolaide... we never offered her that stuff, but all her cousins live on it.. One of the reasons why I was nervous about them taking the allergy seriously.. since I have been known to watch her sugar intake, so they just may have thought I was being overly picky!> > Anyway, thanks again.. I love this group, you guys are very supportive and incredibly welcoming! I already appreciate all I have found here : ) > > Carol & Sara - Severe excema allergy to eggs, minor shellfish

[Guest guest]

I had to laugh because I think Drew was about 5, so Mattie was almost 3

before they knew that syrup existed. I didn't want to deal with the mess,

etc. so we never let them have it. Em still eats her pancakes " plain " .

Sometimes the boys request them that way too.

I must be even more wicked than you!

----- Original Message -----

We also had never put butter on pancakes- they were

fine with just syrup. I just don't see the need in all the extras!

I'm a person that CRAVES those things - I don't want my kids to be

in the same boat!

Trish

[Guest guest]

I had to laugh because I think Drew was about 5, so Mattie was almost 3

before they knew that syrup existed. I didn't want to deal with the mess,

etc. so we never let them have it. Em still eats her pancakes " plain " .

Sometimes the boys request them that way too.

I must be even more wicked than you!

----- Original Message -----

We also had never put butter on pancakes- they were

fine with just syrup. I just don't see the need in all the extras!

I'm a person that CRAVES those things - I don't want my kids to be

in the same boat!

Trish

[Guest guest]

Actually the girls didn't do syrup until they were able to not make a HUGE mess! We still often do them plain. Sam has been offered syrup a couple times, but he doesn't seem to like it. Then I did some reading and found out that often there is undeclared milk in syrup. The syrup farmers actually use powdered milk quite often to help keep it from boiling over when they are in the process of making it. I wonder if that is why Sam won't eat it- or if he just doesn't like the sweetness?

Trish

Re: Re: Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

I had to laugh because I think Drew was about 5, so Mattie was almost 3before they knew that syrup existed. I didn't want to deal with the mess,etc. so we never let them have it. Em still eats her pancakes "plain".Sometimes the boys request them that way too.I must be even more wicked than you!----- Original Message ----- We also had never put butter on pancakes- they werefine with just syrup. I just don't see the need in all the extras!I'm a person that CRAVES those things - I don't want my kids to bein the same boat! :)Trish

[Guest guest]

Actually the girls didn't do syrup until they were able to not make a HUGE mess! We still often do them plain. Sam has been offered syrup a couple times, but he doesn't seem to like it. Then I did some reading and found out that often there is undeclared milk in syrup. The syrup farmers actually use powdered milk quite often to help keep it from boiling over when they are in the process of making it. I wonder if that is why Sam won't eat it- or if he just doesn't like the sweetness?

Trish

Re: Re: Family not taking allergy seriously? (yes, LOL, another question!)

I had to laugh because I think Drew was about 5, so Mattie was almost 3before they knew that syrup existed. I didn't want to deal with the mess,etc. so we never let them have it. Em still eats her pancakes "plain".Sometimes the boys request them that way too.I must be even more wicked than you!----- Original Message ----- We also had never put butter on pancakes- they werefine with just syrup. I just don't see the need in all the extras!I'm a person that CRAVES those things - I don't want my kids to bein the same boat! :)Trish