when people ask, do you have children?

November 20, 2003

Hi,

Just wondering...For those of you who have lost babies and have no

living children, how do you respond when new people ask if you have

children? I always want talk about my baby but do not want to make

others feel bad for asking. I feel bad and feel guilty if I just

say no I do not have children.

Thanks,

Mom to Angel Tucker 8/22/03 (22weeks failed emergent cerclage)

November 20, 2003

,

I say we had a son but he

passed away shortly after delivering. They say sorry. Some as questions which

is nice b/c I can tell them about him. I try not to talk to much about it. I usually

say it was for the best and ask them if they have children. I change the

subject. I will still say this when

we have this one.

God bless,

Taryn

when people

ask, do you have children?

Hi,

Just wondering...For those of you who have lost

babies and have no

living children, how do you respond when new

people ask if you have

children? I always want talk about my baby

but do not want to make

others feel bad for asking. I feel bad and

feel guilty if I just

say no I do not have children.

Thanks,

Mom to Angel Tucker 8/22/03 (22weeks failed

emergent cerclage)

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November 20, 2003

Hi -

I lost my son 6 days after your loss. I totally know where you are

coming from. I would say the first 1.5 to 2 months I was obsessed

with making sure everyone knew of my son. I have a 6 year old

daughter so they knew of her but not him.

I wanted everyone who I came in contact to know what had happened and

I felt if I did not mention Little Drew that I was being dishonorable

to him. My husband would get angry b/c when I mentioned this to

friends who we had not seen in a while, it would make them

uncomfortable. He told me nobody cares! At first this made me

angry, but now I realize that no matter how much I validate his short

life, noone I tell can ever comprehend how much his life meant to

us. So, now I do not even try. I guess it depends on the scenario

whether I say something about him or not. I know in my heart where

Little Drew stands and now that is all that is important. I love him

as much as I do my daughter but that is hard for others to

understand.

We all know here that our ANGELS mean a whole lot to us. Nobody can

take that away.

You do whatever makes you comfortable.

Mandy

> Hi,

> Just wondering...For those of you who have lost babies and have no

> living children, how do you respond when new people ask if you have

> children? I always want talk about my baby but do not want to make

> others feel bad for asking. I feel bad and feel guilty if I just

> say no I do not have children.

> Thanks,

>

> Mom to Angel Tucker 8/22/03 (22weeks failed emergent cerclage)

November 21, 2003

Hi Carry,

I have exactly the same...I feel guilty towards my sons if I do not

mention them. I let it depend on the situation, if I see people once

in my life I will not say anything, but with friends or collueges I

always tell them I have two sons and they passed away because they

were born to early. People look a bit shocked, but I talk a little

about them and then steer the conversation away from them. I am proud

of my sons and I love them so much, so why hide them ?

I must say that most of the times I get very positive reactions.

Lately some girls I do a dance course with told me how much they

appreciated it that I was so open about my sons. It made them less

afraid to ask me how I was doing or feeling.

Their anniversaries are just before Christmas and just after New year

and I have said openly to my colleages that I feel very emotional

now, and that that period will be very hard. and My absolute darling

boss gave me as appreciation for my hard work the days off between

Christmas and New Year, because she knows that it will be so hard. I

almost kissed her and cried all the way home....