Guest guest Posted May 22, 2004 Report Share Posted May 22, 2004 From a very knowledgeable friend! LOL > > MOM - Job Description > > This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would have > done it!!!! > > > >> >> POSITION: >> Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy >> >> JOB DESCRIPTION: >> Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often >> chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and >> organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will >> include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight >> travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy >> weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not >> reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. >> >> RESPONSIBILITIES: >> The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, >> until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must >> possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to >> 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the >> backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating >> technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish >> toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and >> coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and >> organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must >> be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must >> handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic >> toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be >> prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the >> quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and >> janitorial work throughout the facility. >> >> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION: >> >> >> Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, >> without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that >> those in your charge can ultimately surpass you >> >> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: >> None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually >> exhausting basis. >> >> WAGES AND COMPENSATION: >> Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon >> payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will >> help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever >> is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you >> actually enjoy it and then wish you could only do more. >> >> BENEFITS: >> While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, >> no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies >> limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your >> cards right. >> >> Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything >> they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are treasured. >> >> >> >> Love is the essence of man... >> The courage to give all of yourself outweighs the need for self >> satisfaction. >> **Everything that happens, happens for a reason.** >> >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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