Guest guest Posted May 22, 2000 Report Share Posted May 22, 2000 In a message dated 5/22/2000 8:24:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time, rhandr@... writes: << Trash....did you see we have a reputation...isn't that great The original trouble maker Robynn >> You my love are the original trouble maker, I am just an innocent victim! I still love and worry about you, please please dont use your tactics on the road you could get hurt (road rage and all) Trisha Lanman Littermate June 1, 2000 packing, yippee Las Vegas NV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2000 Report Share Posted May 22, 2000 Hi Friends, When I joined this group I had never done any thing like this. I had only used the internet for research and could not imagine why anyone would want to chat with strangers, either online or in a room. Boy, have I changed my mind. I told my computer guru friend that I had decided to have wls and found a support group online. He advised me to be wary of these news groups as they have people on there that enjoy stirring up trouble (I don't mean Trish and Robynn, lol). He said, you can't always believe what people say on them and to be really careful. I told him, you don't know this group. They are not like that They are wonderfully supportive and helpful. Even when someone gives a negative there is always someone there to lift them up. It is really a shame that the whole world isn't like this. I was really moved by someone from this list, not only checking on a fresh post-op but also acting on the information to make her more comfortable. Now that is a real friend and it makes all the rest of us feel better to know that we will be prayed for as well as watched over when we are vulnerable. It moved me to tears to read that post. I read it to my family to let them know how wonderful you are. Thanks for being there, thanks for being you. Darlene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2000 Report Share Posted May 22, 2000 Trash....did you see we have a reputation...isn't that great The original trouble maker Robynn Re: Friends > Hi Friends, > When I joined this group I had never done any thing like this. I had only > used the internet for research and could not imagine why anyone would want to > chat with strangers, either online or in a room. Boy, have I changed my > mind. I told my computer guru friend that I had decided to have wls and > found a support group online. He advised me to be wary of these news groups > as they have people on there that enjoy stirring up trouble (I don't mean > Trish and Robynn, lol). He said, you can't always believe what people say on > them and to be really careful. I told him, you don't know this group. They > are not like that They are wonderfully supportive and helpful. Even when > someone gives a negative there is always someone there to lift them up. It is > really a shame that the whole world isn't like this. I was really moved by > someone from this list, not only checking on a fresh post-op but also acting > on the information to make her more comfortable. Now that is a real friend > and it makes all the rest of us feel better to know that we will be prayed for > as well as watched over when we are vulnerable. It moved me to tears to read > that post. I read it to my family to let them know how wonderful you are. > Thanks for being there, thanks for being you. > Darlene > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Failed tests, classes skipped, forgotten locker combinations. > Remember the good 'ol days > http://click.egroups.com/1/4053/2/_/453517/_/959033056/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2000 Report Share Posted May 22, 2000 It true, the drivers in FLA are the worst, they make me crazy, but look at it this way, a year after surgery, if i get pulled over for speeding, i will flash my dazzling smile, and my beautiful body will get me away with it. unless its a woman. Robynn Re: Friends > In a message dated 5/22/2000 8:24:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time, > rhandr@... writes: > > << > Trash....did you see we have a reputation...isn't that great > The original trouble maker > Robynn > >> > You my love are the original trouble maker, I am just an innocent victim! > I still love and worry about you, please please dont use your tactics on the > road you could get hurt (road rage and all) > > Trisha Lanman > Littermate June 1, 2000 > packing, yippee > Las Vegas NV > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Missing old school friends? Find them here: > http://click.egroups.com/1/4055/2/_/453517/_/959042859/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2001 Report Share Posted March 9, 2001 Hope you are having a great day! Lots of Love Glenda Subject: Friends Send This On and Back: If I could catch a rainbow, I would do it just for you And share with you its beauty on the days you're feeling blue. If I could build a mountain you could call your very own A place to find serenity, a place to be alone, If I could take your troubles, I would toss them in the sea But all these things I'm finding are impossible for me. I cannot build a mountain or catch a rainbow fair But let me be what I know best- a friend who's always there. ~~~This is a Hug Certificate!~~~ Send One to All of Your Friends You Think Deserve A Hug. Send This to Your Friends Including The Person Who Sent It To You! If you get this back 1 Time - Open Up! Find More Friends! If you get this back 2 Times - You're off to a good start! If you get this back 3 Times - You're a good friend If you get this back 4 Times - You're popular! If you get this back 5 Times or More - -There are Angels watching over you! _______________________________________________________ Send a cool gift with your E-Card http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 Dear Sheila, I can assure you that you do not have a unique problem. I am told the same thing.. Are you planning on losing more weight? Why? Dont you think you have lost enough? My goodness, look how bony you are getting.. if a strong wind blows, you will blow away... My sister is much larger than me.. She was proud of my success at first, but now it depresses her as she is not able to have the surgery. She did decide to try the protein supplements that I drink and see if that will help her lose some of the excess weight. She has also gone cold turkey this week and eliminated all white sugars and carbs from her diet.. I am proud of her efforts . However, back to your questions.. my old friends are the same.. they no longer ask me to go shopping, out to eat, to movies.. I dont know if they are tired of hearing other friends compliment me on my successfulness, or if they are unhappy because I am now smaller than many of them.. I dont know what to tell you.. I have made some new friends, and my most supportive and faithful friends are now my friends from support group who have gone through many of the same experiences. I do have a few friends, that no matter what I go through, will be there for me.. they were my friends when I weighed nearly 400 pounds and they are still my friends 205 pounds less.. and will still be my friends when I weigh 140.. You might say to these friends who make these comments that you and your doctor are working on your personal goals. Take care. Hugs from GA open RNY 12/12/00 Revision 04/18/01 Revision 02/07/02 St wt.... 392 Cw.......187 Wt loss..-205 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 Dear Sheila, I can assure you that you do not have a unique problem. I am told the same thing.. Are you planning on losing more weight? Why? Dont you think you have lost enough? My goodness, look how bony you are getting.. if a strong wind blows, you will blow away... My sister is much larger than me.. She was proud of my success at first, but now it depresses her as she is not able to have the surgery. She did decide to try the protein supplements that I drink and see if that will help her lose some of the excess weight. She has also gone cold turkey this week and eliminated all white sugars and carbs from her diet.. I am proud of her efforts . However, back to your questions.. my old friends are the same.. they no longer ask me to go shopping, out to eat, to movies.. I dont know if they are tired of hearing other friends compliment me on my successfulness, or if they are unhappy because I am now smaller than many of them.. I dont know what to tell you.. I have made some new friends, and my most supportive and faithful friends are now my friends from support group who have gone through many of the same experiences. I do have a few friends, that no matter what I go through, will be there for me.. they were my friends when I weighed nearly 400 pounds and they are still my friends 205 pounds less.. and will still be my friends when I weigh 140.. You might say to these friends who make these comments that you and your doctor are working on your personal goals. Take care. Hugs from GA open RNY 12/12/00 Revision 04/18/01 Revision 02/07/02 St wt.... 392 Cw.......187 Wt loss..-205 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 Dear Sheila, I've experienced much the same although most of my " friends " weeded themselves either in/out of my life about a year ago -- some left when they learned I was having the surgery, others left after the weight loss became real obvious and still others became new friends after the weight loss -- the " big change " is not specific to you at all... it probably isn't even about you when friends leave -- I think it is more about them... what they are going through and such. I don't have any suggestions other than to just look at it as a growing experience (or shrinking one as the case may be :-)) I think my thinner friends never realized that I am still an obese person just living in a thinner body but for the gift of this surgery and my own holding up my end of what has to be done to maintain my weight baring any medical problems. I think my larger friends (some, not all) felt like what I had was catching -- if they stayed around they would have to have surgery too and I NEVER felt that way... I think and have said -- it is a very individual choice and certainly NOT for everyone. I really didn't have many friends left... the last few years before surgery I was pretty much a recluse, a prisoner in my own home and mind... I think I ran most everyone out of my life before I had the surgery. Family... only my husband and my mom know -- my husbands been very supportive, my mom has her first consultation on October 1 and the others who don't know about the surgery have given real mixed reactions -- I have one daughter in law who I think must hate me now and another who is much closer to me now -- I don't know what drives people to react the way they do. You sound like a loving person and that is a wonderful thing to be... the way people react to you is probably about issues they have of their own... I continue to love them and hope they work their own way through it and am grateful I can get out and about and make new friends, cherish the old ones and just sort of stand-by on how things will work out with my family people. All that to say... No, your not alone - No, probably isn't anything you've done or said, just about them and something they will have to deal with or not. You are far more healthy and happy and just continue to be you and good things will come your way. hugz, ~denise > Is anyone experiencing a big change in the treatment of old friends > since weight loss??? > Do you have any suggestions for me? Is this a unique problem to me? > > Thanks, Sheila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 Dear Sheila, I've experienced much the same although most of my " friends " weeded themselves either in/out of my life about a year ago -- some left when they learned I was having the surgery, others left after the weight loss became real obvious and still others became new friends after the weight loss -- the " big change " is not specific to you at all... it probably isn't even about you when friends leave -- I think it is more about them... what they are going through and such. I don't have any suggestions other than to just look at it as a growing experience (or shrinking one as the case may be :-)) I think my thinner friends never realized that I am still an obese person just living in a thinner body but for the gift of this surgery and my own holding up my end of what has to be done to maintain my weight baring any medical problems. I think my larger friends (some, not all) felt like what I had was catching -- if they stayed around they would have to have surgery too and I NEVER felt that way... I think and have said -- it is a very individual choice and certainly NOT for everyone. I really didn't have many friends left... the last few years before surgery I was pretty much a recluse, a prisoner in my own home and mind... I think I ran most everyone out of my life before I had the surgery. Family... only my husband and my mom know -- my husbands been very supportive, my mom has her first consultation on October 1 and the others who don't know about the surgery have given real mixed reactions -- I have one daughter in law who I think must hate me now and another who is much closer to me now -- I don't know what drives people to react the way they do. You sound like a loving person and that is a wonderful thing to be... the way people react to you is probably about issues they have of their own... I continue to love them and hope they work their own way through it and am grateful I can get out and about and make new friends, cherish the old ones and just sort of stand-by on how things will work out with my family people. All that to say... No, your not alone - No, probably isn't anything you've done or said, just about them and something they will have to deal with or not. You are far more healthy and happy and just continue to be you and good things will come your way. hugz, ~denise > Is anyone experiencing a big change in the treatment of old friends > since weight loss??? > Do you have any suggestions for me? Is this a unique problem to me? > > Thanks, Sheila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 > Is anyone experiencing a big change in the treatment of old friends > since weight loss??? > Thanks, Sheila ******************************************************* Sheila, True friends are few and far between. I guess it's true you find out after WLS who the true ones are. Out of everyone I knew before my surgery,I have one dear friend who is still there. We've been friends for 18 years now and have gone through all of life's joys and sorrows. Even my first husband couldn't handle the fact that I became thin. He felt threatened somehow. We are still the same person only in a different wrapping. Let it be their problem not yours. Be proud of yourself. Life is ever changing and your circle of friends does change as well. You have had the courage to move on with your life and it is fair for someone that can not do the same to hold you back. My sister has felt bad about being the bigger sister as well, though she has never been as heavy as I once was. In time your sister will be happy for you. Hope this help, Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 I meant to say it is NOT fair. Re: Friends > > > > Is anyone experiencing a big change in the treatment of old friends > > since weight loss??? > > Thanks, Sheila > ******************************************************* > Sheila, > > True friends are few and far between. I guess it's true you find out after > WLS who the true ones are. Out of everyone I knew before my surgery,I have > one dear friend who is still there. We've been friends for 18 years now and > have gone through all of life's joys and sorrows. Even my first husband > couldn't handle the fact that I became thin. He felt threatened somehow. We > are still the same person only in a different wrapping. Let it be their > problem not yours. Be proud of yourself. Life is ever changing and your > circle of friends does change as well. You have had the courage to move on > with your life and it is fair for someone that can not do the same to hold > you back. My sister has felt bad about being the bigger sister as well, > though she has never been as heavy as I once was. In time your sister will > be happy for you. > Hope this help, > Dawn > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 I meant to say it is NOT fair. Re: Friends > > > > Is anyone experiencing a big change in the treatment of old friends > > since weight loss??? > > Thanks, Sheila > ******************************************************* > Sheila, > > True friends are few and far between. I guess it's true you find out after > WLS who the true ones are. Out of everyone I knew before my surgery,I have > one dear friend who is still there. We've been friends for 18 years now and > have gone through all of life's joys and sorrows. Even my first husband > couldn't handle the fact that I became thin. He felt threatened somehow. We > are still the same person only in a different wrapping. Let it be their > problem not yours. Be proud of yourself. Life is ever changing and your > circle of friends does change as well. You have had the courage to move on > with your life and it is fair for someone that can not do the same to hold > you back. My sister has felt bad about being the bigger sister as well, > though she has never been as heavy as I once was. In time your sister will > be happy for you. > Hope this help, > Dawn > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 I tell you I gravitate towards those who can support me and give me good feedback. Those that feel threatened, cant be proud or happy for me, compete with me too much, or turn it in on themselves I (ME) I AVOID. Its good if they're staying away from you, they'll bring you down and load you up with negative crap and you may use it as an excuse to feel guilty and eat, or whatever. Keep the positive folks closest to you. I had a friend that had the JIB 25 years ago. She begged me not to get the surgery said I couldnt do it because of the sugar. After I did, she could never praise me or tell me how nice I looked without some sort of sly putdown. I knew she felt threatened because of her intense competition and I found myself pouring my life into her trying to make HER feel not threatened. It finally got so negative for me that I just cut it off. OH I had to be so tactful so as not to inflame her but I tell you, I am no longer blaming myself for others insecurities or walking on eggshells. Screw that, I've got a full time job here working on my needs, and keeping this dang food out of my mouth! If they're not part of the solution, they're part of the problem! I have turned around so much without that negative downward pull it's amazing. I did the right thing for me for a change. hugzzz flo Friends > Is anyone experiencing a big change in the treatment of old friends > since weight loss??? > In the beginning of my weight loss journey I had tremendous support and > encouragement from old friends. Now that I have almost reached my goal > after nearly 2 years, I am getting some strange reactions. > " Haven't you lost enough? " How much more will you lose? You can eat a > lot more food, now. You are smaller than me! What size are you? > You can wear a small??? Well, I wear a large, sigh.... " > I am so shocked. I thought they would be so proud of me. They do not > ask me to shop with them, any more. They are sitting with others when we > go to a group luncheon. I am not bragging to them but they hear others > come and tell me how nice I look and how much better I move. So I guess > they are getting tired of hearing the compliments. (I am not.) > Even my own dear sister is depressed because she is now the " biggest > sister " , her words. I was obese my whole life. She was thin. She is a > size large and I am a small or medium. She is really upset and doesn't > want to buy anything new. She really got ticked when I asked her if she > wanted some of my clothes that are too big. > This really hurts me. I love my new freedom. I can walk and breathe and > stand. I was using a scooter or canes before WLS. I wore a size 32. My > future was not good and my life was sad and boring. There are so many > things I can do now. I have made many new friends through my WLS > journey. I run a support group and I am a Bariatric Patient Advocate. I > have changed but I still love people, everyone. I want to be a good > friend to all. > Do you have any suggestions for me? Is this a unique problem to me? > > Thanks, Sheila > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 Sheila - I must chime in along with the rest - and say you are definitely NOT alone. What really cracks me up is at 314 lbs, my 175 pound co-worker was extremely supportive UNTIL I got down to 198. At about 200, she kept saying " Wow - you're gonna be smaller than me before you know it! " I try to give her a friendly reminder that this is not a contest, but inside I still become annoyed with those who say things like this, like I DON'T DESERVE to be smaller than anyone else. What's even sillier, when I hit 198, my co-worker started on a " diet " because (I can only assume from the comments) that she felt I was getting " too close " to her size. Hysterical. I'm 47 and never discuss my surgery (she knows I had it), and certainly do not constantly focus on my weight or appearance with regard to my weight, nor do I like being the constant topic or focus of the office. Whenever congratulated, I always downplay the compliment or try to remove any focus on me so others won't misperceive me as, well, you know, wanting to be in the limelight ... I just try to say than you, and move on. So, I'm rambling ... but, Sheila, you're not alone. I just try to keep a sense of humor about it all and know that I'm healthy and happy and that's good enough for me. Life's too short. Bobbie Anchorge Open Proximal RNY 5-11-01 Then: 314 Now: 198 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 17, 2004 Report Share Posted August 17, 2004 My friends just happen to be diabetics! Hugs, Marilyn FRIENDS A friend is someone we turn to When our spirits need a lift A friend is someone we treasure For our friendship is a gift. A friend is someone who fills our lives With beauty, joy, and grace And makes the world we live in A better and happier place. There is a miracle called friendship, that dwells in the heart. You do not know how it happens or when it gets its start But you know the special lift it always brings. You realize that friendship is one of God's most precious things! Keep Smiling... Marilyn Neves Moderator for ~ alldiabeticinternational@... Diabetic_Recipes Opinions expressed are solely my opinion and should not be mistaken for professional medical advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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