Big and Beautiful

[Guest guest]

,

I wasn't trying to get you into therapy or say 'be happy and smiley all the

time.' It's just that your comments reminded me of a conversation I had the

other day with a friend. And I was telling her about my experiences with

anger in people. I'm not saying that anger is bad--I've got plenty of it. It

pisses me off when I'm dancing at a club with friends and I get surrounded

by men chanting " go fat girl, go. " I get angered when i see an article in

Entertainment magazine that says " Big but Beautiful " and open it up to find

pictures of Minnie Driver and Bullock--just because they have curves

makes them BIG! I started gaining weight when I hit puberty. I was a skinny

kid but hit age 12 and WHAM! I can't even relate to people saying " I look in

the mirror and see the size 12 I used to be. " I was a size 14 in 6th

grade--talk about TORMENT! All I was trying to express, and not even

necessarily directly at you--just for all, was to be aware of your anger and

don't use it against yourself. God knows I did that for long enough. Sounds

like you've got a great handle on things--maybe it's just my problem.

Anyhow, i don't know other than from a few messages--i wasn't trying to

psychoanalize. I weigh 180.5 pounds today. I haven't weighed that since I

was 15, I'm 24 now. I'm feeling really good. I gotta add, I wasn't all that

keen on the " Big and Beautiful " tagline--but it doesn't bother me because I

know that it comes out of respect and people who suffer and have suffered

what I'm going through. OH BOY! Did I go on and on. Hope this makes sense--I

tend to ramble. So, there you have it.

[Guest guest]

i think perhaps theres an issue,to me at least, of how big can big and

beautiful be?

in my mind i'd like to stop beating myself up for not being a size 4..but

still like to be the size 12 i can still be.

nothing's beautiful about being too big to walk around the block,fit into an

airplane seat, or tie your own shoe, but i would like to see an acceptance

that women can be beautiful though not fitting into the media standard of

what i've heard referred to as... " a lollipop " or the more indelicate

hollywood phrase .... " tits on a stick " .

[Guest guest]

I have to agree also... I don't feel the least bit beautiful being big. Big and

beautiful? I don't think so. I like who I am and all, but I don't feel

beautiful. When I look in a mirror, I just don't see the person I feel like on

the inside showing on the outside.... I feel really good from eating this WOE

and

I go about my day feeling great. But when I pass a mirror it's almost a shock

because I just don't look as good as I feel... I can't wait for the day when I

do.

Of course it's all a matter of opinion and I certainly don't want it removed

just

because of how I feel. It's meant to be inspirational and I have no problems

with

that

Just another opinion...

Cathy

TLLOVESHIM@... wrote:

> From: TLLOVESHIM@...

>

>

>

> << And sorry, again, and maybe some will hate my guts for saying it, but " big "

> is NOT beautiful to me. I don't want to be " big " , that's what I'm fighting

> and praying for with all the strength that I have. >>

>

> I am sorry to but I really have to agree. Now, I am not saying to remove it

[Guest guest]

I have to say that the the trailer at the bottom never affended or upset

me.. but I also have to agree that I dont believe it or feel that way.

Teena--- I know exactly what you mean!!!!!!!!! I still feel like that

size 8 inside. I get so frustrated when I look in the mirror at my size

14 (now closer to 12). I despertly want to be that size 8 again... for

me.. not for anyone else. I want to put on a pair of jeans and feel

sexy. I have to say that just the few pounds i have lost have really

made me feel good again! I look in the mirror and dont really see a

'fat' person.. i see someone who is getting cuter and more sexy. But..

(this may sound weird)- I have to say that I do think larger women are

pretty. I've seen quite a few. Emmie for example is beautiful.. but

she presents herself this way. She takes time to do her makeup and hair

(or she has someone that does it..ha ha)- but never the less.. she looks

great. And its not just 'models' that look great. I have a few

customers who I would say are around 200-- and to be honest.. i really

think they are pretty.. but like i keep saying.. .they take pride in how

they look. They enjoy doing their hair.. makeup. NOw i'm not saying

all 'fat people' must wear makeup and stuff to be pretty.. but there are

ALOT of thin people I know that dont really take pride in themselves and

'primp' a little.. and frankly they dont look good, but when they do

their hair and a small amount of makeup they are gorgeous! Does this

make any sense.... i just got on one of my typing

ramblings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well.... that's about it... gotta go have a few eggs!!!!!!!!!!

smiles

Mollie

[Guest guest]

I been thinkin' and thinkin' about your reply - and although I

applaud your caring, that's not at all where I'm coming from.

Sure, there are a lot of negatives in my history regarding being overweight.

- My son, coming up to me tail end of last school year and hugging me, and

sharing that some kid called his mother " fat " , but he stuck up for me...

(and me thinking what a blessing he is...)

- Shopping in Fashion Bug and Lane and realizing that even in these

stores most of the clothes I think are pretty won't fit... and my best

friend looking at me in absolute shock as she watches me pawing through the

size 26/28 racks... " No, you don't want THAT size, do you?? " (Uhhh... no,

not really....)

- How about the blind date I had three months ago, where the guy showed up,

sat down for 5 minutes, and then suddenly " had to leave " and " would be right

back " ... and me on the phone with my mom crying, and hour later, asking her

to come pick up my son and feed him for me, since I'd kinda thought I was

going out and had nothing planned for dinner ... (not that I ate anything

that night anyway...)

Does that kind of thing make me sad, or piss me off? Of course it does!!!

Am I supposed to just shrug and ignore it? Am I a robot or something? Or

Vulcan?? No, I don't think so!!

It's rotten that the ideal of " beauty " drives even " normal " girls to obsess

on their weight and looks and end up so thin you can count their ribs! It's

rotten, mean and nasty that people won't hire an overweight person over a

thin person. It's not fair that guys will take one look at the " bigger "

lady and exit stage left. But life is not about fair. If I sat around and

cried and wouldn't do anything about it, and spent all day moaning about the

way things " should " be, then you could send me for therapy. But I think a

little anger is called for. I think that properly used, a little anger can

be quite the motivating factor! I want to lose weight to LIVE, to see my

son grow up. But I also want to " live " , as in " live it up " a little. I

want to be able to go out dancing and not huff and puff, like I was when all

the cousins went out at the family reunion in Nashville. I want to NOT

have to " cover up " when I wear a bathing suit, unless I forgot the

sunscreen! What's wrong with that?

The way I look now is NOT good. Do I feel that I am NOT a super, terrific,

wonderful, talented, amazing PERSON??? Noooooo! I most certainly AM!!

LOL But the world is how the world is, and the world is missing out on a

lot of great stuff when the person I AM is trapped in this massively

" over-fleshy " package. So, I'm changing that.

What is the point of hiding from the fact, plain and simple fact, that

society is NOT nice to " big " people, and admitting that I, for one, am sick

of it? Nothing wrong with that, and nothing wrong with using that as a

motivator.

Isn't appearance part and parcel of the package of reasons everyone loses

weight? What is the point of not appreciating better looking bodies?

Like that guy Tony? Of course I want to have an awesome " after " pic, and

get thousands and thousands of compliments on it, and be able to say " awww,

geee, I never could of done it without the support of my friends and

family " , as I smile and take the trophy from Oprah on the awards show...

.... oh, wait a minute... they don't have s for weight loss, do they??

Ok... well, they SHOULD!!!! I still want one!!! LOL

your mom ever ask you if you wanted a medal for doing something?? YES, I

want one!!! LOL

Anyway....

a.k.a. ~ Natty's mommy

lanat@...

http://www.javanet.com/~lanat/

[Guest guest]

Y'know, Cathryn, I think this says it for me, absolutely PERFECTLY!!!

Thanks,

Lis

>-----Original Message-----

> When I look in a mirror, I just don't see the person I

>feel like on the inside showing on the outside....

[Guest guest]

It isnt ment to be beutiful looking in the mirror it

means big outside beutiful in but losing the outside

--- Cathryn Fahey cmfahey@...> wrote:

> I have to agree also... I don't feel the least bit

> beautiful being big. Big and

> beautiful? I don't think so. I like who I am and

> all, but I don't feel

> beautiful. When I look in a mirror, I just don't

> see the person I feel like on

> the inside showing on the outside.... I feel really

> good from eating this WOE and

> I go about my day feeling great. But when I pass a

> mirror it's almost a shock

> because I just don't look as good as I feel... I

> can't wait for the day when I

> do.

>

> Of course it's all a matter of opinion and I

> certainly don't want it removed just

> because of how I feel. It's meant to be

> inspirational and I have no problems with

> that

>

> Just another opinion...

> Cathy

>

> TLLOVESHIM@... wrote:

>

> > From: TLLOVESHIM@...

> >

> > In a message dated 10/06/1999 11:48:58 AM EST,

> lanat@... writes:

> >

> > << And sorry, again, and maybe some will hate my

> guts for saying it, but " big "

> > is NOT beautiful to me. I don't want to be

> " big " , that's what I'm fighting

> > and praying for with all the strength that I

> have. >>

> >

> > I am sorry to but I really have to agree. Now, I

> am not saying to remove it

>

>

>

------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Forget the rest We are the best. BIG AND BEAUTIFUL

> BUT LOSING!!!!!!

>

>

=====

Sue List Manager 310/260.5/180

Goal for Challenge 2 250

[Guest guest]

OH!!! and this part too!!!

I do that all the time!!!

boy, do you have ME pegged!! :-)

>-----Original Message-----

> But when I pass a mirror it's almost a shock because I just don't look as

good as I feel... I can't wait for

>the day when I do.

>