Guest guest Posted September 21, 2002 Report Share Posted September 21, 2002 Hi, . I agree with you that sometimes weight loss surgery groups get into a weird group dynamic. I think it goes beyond that. In an effort to motivate people to take the best care of themselves possible, medical professionals sometimes unintentionally imply that if you " follow the rules " you won't get sick, or have a wound complication, or your cancer won't spread before we catch it or whatever. When we have unexpected complications, we sometimes take this advice to an extreme and feel like " I'm sick because I was " bad. " When they opened me up for the roux-en-y they found very severe intestinal adhesions and they had to remove my gall bladder. I needed more surgery than the average gastric bypass patient, and I was nauseated and weak for 6 months. I also had a minor wound complication. The two problems threw me into a clinical depression, and every time I heard someone talking about how wonderful the surgery was and how easy their transition was, I was sure that it was just more evidence that I was a failure. Nuts isn't it? In terms of the group dynamic, I know what you mean. I think online people with extreme experiences share more than others. We hear more from the people who are extreme successes or who've had very serious problems. There are some online sites that I call cheerleader sites. People are discouraged from bringing up the negative. Sometimes they're even encouraged to leave if they have anything but positive things to say. I'm sure this happens in face to face support groups, too. I have never regretted my decision to have weight loss surgery. I am a happier, more resilient person now that I've lost 250 pounds. That said, I often find myself warning pre-ops that it is a major surgery and it has not single-handedly solved every single problem I have. in St. Louis In a message dated 9/21/02 2:42:14 PM Central Daylight Time, ngbcpa1@... writes: > My expectations were not reasonable because the representation > of the support group was terribly skewed. I realize now it was because the > > struggling post ops stayed away and stayed quiet....a terrible group > dynamic > I still don't understand...how does that develop? Is it a fostered > attitude > or a natural tendency of human nature? I struggled terribly and wasted a > lot > of valuable time during the first six months cause I just did not know how > to > deal with the puking, depression, inability to sleep, inability to eat > protein foods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2002 Report Share Posted September 21, 2002 Hi, . I agree with you that sometimes weight loss surgery groups get into a weird group dynamic. I think it goes beyond that. In an effort to motivate people to take the best care of themselves possible, medical professionals sometimes unintentionally imply that if you " follow the rules " you won't get sick, or have a wound complication, or your cancer won't spread before we catch it or whatever. When we have unexpected complications, we sometimes take this advice to an extreme and feel like " I'm sick because I was " bad. " When they opened me up for the roux-en-y they found very severe intestinal adhesions and they had to remove my gall bladder. I needed more surgery than the average gastric bypass patient, and I was nauseated and weak for 6 months. I also had a minor wound complication. The two problems threw me into a clinical depression, and every time I heard someone talking about how wonderful the surgery was and how easy their transition was, I was sure that it was just more evidence that I was a failure. Nuts isn't it? In terms of the group dynamic, I know what you mean. I think online people with extreme experiences share more than others. We hear more from the people who are extreme successes or who've had very serious problems. There are some online sites that I call cheerleader sites. People are discouraged from bringing up the negative. Sometimes they're even encouraged to leave if they have anything but positive things to say. I'm sure this happens in face to face support groups, too. I have never regretted my decision to have weight loss surgery. I am a happier, more resilient person now that I've lost 250 pounds. That said, I often find myself warning pre-ops that it is a major surgery and it has not single-handedly solved every single problem I have. in St. Louis In a message dated 9/21/02 2:42:14 PM Central Daylight Time, ngbcpa1@... writes: > My expectations were not reasonable because the representation > of the support group was terribly skewed. I realize now it was because the > > struggling post ops stayed away and stayed quiet....a terrible group > dynamic > I still don't understand...how does that develop? Is it a fostered > attitude > or a natural tendency of human nature? I struggled terribly and wasted a > lot > of valuable time during the first six months cause I just did not know how > to > deal with the puking, depression, inability to sleep, inability to eat > protein foods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2002 Report Share Posted September 21, 2002 In a message dated 9/21/02 7:56:41 AM Central Daylight Time, hwd.hwd@... writes: << I know the solutions - protein, exercise, water, low carbs. I will fight every day, but since I can't talk about this to anyone [i am my surgeon's poster girl, and still get people calling me to talk about the surgery.} I needed to be honest with you all, my friends...... I'm off to the park with the dog, and then the gym. I pray today will be better. >> --------------------------------------- And I will pray for you too, Helene. There IS something more u can do, though. You probably need to isolate the REASON why your eating seems out of control at this point in time. Are you keeping a journal? What u eat, when, how you feel b4 and after u eat it? Judging yourself harshly for medicating yourself with food won't solve the problem. And I don't think tightening the reins will help much either, till u find out what's making you make poor choices. Regards, Carol A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2002 Report Share Posted September 21, 2002 That said, I > often find myself warning pre-ops that it is a major surgery and it has not > single-handedly solved every single problem I have. >************ I've noticed this, too. This did not give Don a better job, did not make my d-I-l into a delightful person, unscramble my step-dtr's life or save loved ones from dying or being sick. It didn't make me a nicer or better person. I still have some physical ailments. Solved some health problems and maybe made me think about others a bit more than I did. But it didn't solve all my problems, and I do see lots of people who think it will change the dynamics with parents, siblings & spouses. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a pill or even a surgery that would fix it ALL? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2002 Report Share Posted September 21, 2002 That said, I > often find myself warning pre-ops that it is a major surgery and it has not > single-handedly solved every single problem I have. >************ I've noticed this, too. This did not give Don a better job, did not make my d-I-l into a delightful person, unscramble my step-dtr's life or save loved ones from dying or being sick. It didn't make me a nicer or better person. I still have some physical ailments. Solved some health problems and maybe made me think about others a bit more than I did. But it didn't solve all my problems, and I do see lots of people who think it will change the dynamics with parents, siblings & spouses. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a pill or even a surgery that would fix it ALL? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 Gads Helene I know exactly how you feel. i am my surgeon's poster child too and I have an appt on 10/1. I am up about 10 lbs from last year and you know my history of regain the losing. I too need to keep the cycle foods out of my daily nutrition but it has been so hard for the last few months. I do the protein, I do the exercise (50 minutes daily of cardio alternating with weights), but some of my old foods have snuck back. I am also now accepting that the so called sugar free low carb snacky foods are dangerous for me too. I am an addict and the sweet tooth loves aspertame/malitol/as as much as the real stuff. sigh. Hang in there, I know we will be able to beat the demons back. Again I must continue to accept responsibility for what I do on a daily basis. Hugs Rita in Vermont > > I know the solutions - protein, exercise, water, low carbs. I will > fight every day, but since I can't talk about this to anyone [i am my > surgeon's poster girl, and still get people calling me to talk about the > surgery.} I needed to be honest with you all, my friends...... I'm off > to the park with the dog, and then the gym. I pray today will be > better. > > Helene > RNY 12/22/99 > 350/174 (up from 150) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2002 Report Share Posted September 22, 2002 I am having the same problem Helene.. I dont know what to do! I weighed yesterday.. 175.. up from 154 my lowest.. i am going to start all liquids monday.. maybe that will help :-( Tina in New Orleans Weight Gain > I need to vent to people who will understand (I hope). I got on the > scale this week, and I have gained more weight. One year ago, I weighed > 22 pounds less than I do today. I weight exactly what I weighed one year > post op - all the weight I worked so hard at losing during year two is > re-gained. I am depressed, upset, and eating out-of-control. I've gone > from 174 to 174 (there, I've said it). It's my secret shame - the irony > is, I've had several people tell me, over the past few weeks. > > I'm so scared - regaining at the rate of 4 pounds a month, and don't > know when I will stop. Each day, I wake up a say, " this is it, today I > get my life back. " Yesterday I lasted until 5:30pm. > > I know the solutions - protein, exercise, water, low carbs. I will > fight every day, but since I can't talk about this to anyone [i am my > surgeon's poster girl, and still get people calling me to talk about the > surgery.} I needed to be honest with you all, my friends...... I'm off > to the park with the dog, and then the gym. I pray today will be > better. > > Helene > RNY 12/22/99 > 350/174 (up from 150) > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 Well after feeling so proud that my weigh in was at 149lb, I’m back up to 153 this morning. I was really sick for two days over the weekend and couldn’t keep anything down. Hubby found me on the bathroom floor late Friday night having really bad chills and cramps. He had to wrap me up in towels and quilts rather than move me. Weight went down to 147 but by yesterday I was feeling better and was feeling hungry. Still not quite sure how it went up so much so quickly but I’ll take the few extra pounds over feeling that sick any day. Fiona Fiona Young-Brown Kentish Maid Candles www.kentishmaidcandles.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2003 Report Share Posted September 15, 2003 My weigh in was Friday morning and I got sick later that day and all day Saturday. Yesterday was the first day I really felt like eating again. I'm wondering if a lot of it might be water gain too. I'm making sure I drink plenty of fluids and eat as I usually would on my plan so I'll see how it goes over the next few days. Fiona Young-Brown Kentish Maid Candles www.kentishmaidcandles.com -----Original Message----- Fiona, Did you weight in at WW with that weight? How many days have gone by? My suggestion, only weight yourself a week from the date you were 149 lbs. When you are sick like that, you dehydrate, then your body is screaming for fluids. You may just have water gain. Liane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2004 Report Share Posted February 8, 2004 I am 37 weeks pregnant and a had my RNY July 2002. I lost 126 lbs with the bypass and was maintaining at 180-183 lbs when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't start gaining weight till about 6 months pregnant and I am now 219. So far I have gained 35 lbs. Which I have been very surprised that I have gained so much so easily. The doctor is very happy about it, but I worry about losing it all again after the baby gets here. Hope this helps Marcy EDD feb. 18, 2004 RNY 7/11/02 307/184 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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