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Fwd: The Hormone Hostage

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porkysmom@... wrote: Date: Mon, 06 Feb 2006 21:53:44 -0500From: porkysmom@...Subject: The Hormone HostageTo: Rfloyd2000@..., emerysnana@..., mscarter71@...,Okysurfer@..., fmautumn2ashes@..., frustrated543@...,Oliver1989@..., hwqi@..., lindseylou77@...,bucolic_meadows@..., joanne@...,aggie_shuler@..., newweedintexas@...,lady_rach04@... The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant

other!!DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: What did I do wrong?SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate. DANGEROUS: What did you do all daySAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate. 13 Things PMS Stands For: 1. Pass My Shotgun2. Psychotic Mood Shift3.

Perpetual Munching Spree4. Puffy Mid-Section5. People Make me Sick6. Provide Me with Sweets7. Pardon My Sobbing8. Pimples May Surface9. Pass My Sweatpants10. Pissy Mood Syndrome11. Plainly; Men Suck12. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...13. Potential Murder SuspectPass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might needa good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Moneytalks...but chocolate sings.Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my moodswings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able tomonitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm ina bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next timehe'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.

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