HELP! I NEED TO VENT A LITTLE

[Guest guest]

GOOD MORNING TEXAS TOPS BUDDIES. I AM WRITING THIS MORNING WITH A NEED TO VENT MY FRUSTRATIONS AND I KNOW THAT I CAN GET SUPPORT FROM YOU GUYS AND GALS. THINGS HAVE BEEN REAL ROUGH FOR ME THIS PAST FEW WEEKS. MY FAMILY HAS ME ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I'M NOT HANDLING IT WELL. IT SEEMS LIKE I HAVE BEEN LETTING MY EMOTIONS CONTROL ME INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I WAS SUPPOSE TO START COLLEGE NEXT WEEK, THAT WENT OUT WITH THE WASH. THE COLLEGE SCREWED AROUND AND NEVER GOT MY FINANCIAL AID FINISHED WHICH LEAVES ME UNABLE TO GO TO SCHOOL. I'LL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE SUMMER, AND START CLASSES THEN. AS LONG AS THEY DON'T PLAY AROUND.

MY SON AND MOTHER, WHICH ARE BOTH BIPOLAR, ARE DRIVING ME BONKERS,. EVERY MINUTE HAS TO BE ABOUT THEM AND THEY ARE DRIVING ME TO EATING UNHEALTHY CHOICES. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO BE GOOD, BUT THEN THEY GET ME RILED UP AND I JUST START BINGEING.(SP?)

I HAVE LOST ALL ME TIME, AND EVERYTHING THAT I DO IS PRETTY MUCH FOR EVERYONE ELSE. ONLY HAVING ONE VEHICLE WITH 5 -PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE AND 3 WORKING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AND CRAZY HOURS HAS ME PLAYING TAXI FOR THE WHOLE CLAN.

HERE IS A SAMPLE OF YESTERDAY'S EATING FOR ME - 2 SCRAMBLED EGGS WITH SQUASH AND CHEESE, AND SUGAR FREE BREAD. TURKEY AND CHEESE SANDWICH WITH MAYO, SMALL BAG OF DORITOS, BOWL OF ICE CREAM, MILKY WAY BAR AND 2 DIET COKES, 2 BOWLS OF RIGATONI WITH 2 SLICES OF GARLIC BREAD. THEN LATE NIGHT AN EXTRA BOWL OF ICE CREAM. I ALSO HAD 6 PRINGLES AND 2 PEPPERONI STICKS.

IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE TOO MUCH, AND I DON'T COUNT CALORIES I AM TRYING TO COUNT CARBS...I KNOW I BOMBED OUT WITH THOSE.

I JUST FEEL LIKE SITTING AND DOING NOTHING. I AM EMOTIONALLY DRAINED AND TOTALLY DEPRESSED. I DON'T SEE MY DOCTOR TILL THE END OF THE MONTH AND MAYBE SHE CAN GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE EMOTIONAL STRESS THAT I HAVE AND I CAN START FEELING BETTER AGAIN.

I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK YESTERDAY AND AM ON THE VERGE OF ONE NOW AS I SIT HERE AND TYPE AND THE TEARS JUST FLOW LIKE THE NEEDED RAIN IN TEXAS.

THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME RAMBLE ON. IF IT WASN'T FOR TOPS, THEN I WOULD PROBABLY JUST TOTALLY GAIN BACK ALL THOSE POUNDS I WORKED SO HARD TO GET OFF.

LUV YA ALL!!

TOPS ((HUGS)), GLORIA

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