Re: Acceptance and brainstorming/Ideas from Di

[Guest guest]

Kathi...this stuff is right up my ally....I am a counseling

psychologist.....but more importantly.....I have 18 years experience

in forming women's support networks, as a participant aswell, that

get to the heart of the ;self': self image,,,self esteem,,,,and most

importantly...self care...phyisically, emotionally, mentally and

spiritually ( not 'necesariy religious spirituality)

Kathi...for those of us who can't get together physcially,,,perhaps

I coulf help you facility something on ;chat. " Coffee Talk " . It

takes us women a while to trust,,,,but the bond grows with each

risk of 'opening up.

I have lots of ideas. Please let me know if I can help!

Hugs!......Di....PLS....Canada

>

> Hi all,

>

> I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for women.

As I talk

> to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

bonding and

> provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So, I'm

seeking

> input.

>

> I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about a

forum where

> we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

femaleness and

> sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

staying positive,

> stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

finding

> decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

still attractive,

> exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

massage or facial, etc.

>

> Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA and

have a place

> near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

location.

>

> Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

thought was

> pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D. Stuff

like this article

> would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

>

> best,

> Kathi

>

>

>

> FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

apology.

> Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of who

you are.

> When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a greater

whole, it

> becomes a weapon against us and others.

> We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

for us may be

> detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others are

not.

> Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

life.

> Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and eventually

death.

> At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

value in

> society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one of

many

> disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community. We

are participating in

> a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

found in the

> image of God.

> The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

yours alone,

> and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

circle that

> leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

radical approaches

> to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

justifications, and

> no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

and me, God!! "

> Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep wounds

which may

> have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury, and

so forth.

> We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on our

lives;

> forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of the

pain.

> Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish, depression,

failure,

> and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

perceived images of

> who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

throughout your

> life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize it

when it

> comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it but

you will be

> expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

through it.

> One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been defined

as being

> the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of the

should’s, "

> which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave, unselfish.

We should

> be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

everybody, love

> everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

feel sorry for

> oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

should be in

> control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

things to be

> different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

alien to who

> we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

others and not

> trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

are. Authentic

> acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

thoughts, while also

> being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

image " which

> denies our limitations and problems. As we face our disabilities

with honesty,

> we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

entering into

> this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

injured vanity

> and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being disabled

or needing

> assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People who

abuse,

> discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

inaccessible do not

> apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry " for

being who you

> are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

assistive devices.

> When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid passing

guilt around,

> and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

become witnesses

> of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

within

> ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

others to do so.

> Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what you

have lost or

> never had.

> Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

feelings and

> emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

healed of

> bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others and

GOD. Acceptance

> is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

having

> disability removed from your life. It is about living with

disability in creative

> and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we are.

> Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

freedom to Be

> and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

Acceptance is

> discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then using

them

> creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently

pursues us,

> that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

losing

> ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He who

is able to love

> himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

overcome

> self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

transform our lives, unless

> we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's} grace.

> Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

[Grace] strikes

> us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty

life.

> [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than

usual,

> because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or

from which we were

> estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own being,

our

> indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

direction and composure

> has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

after year, the

> longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

compulsions reign

> within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy

and

> courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that

which is greater

> than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kathi...this stuff is right up my ally....I am a counseling

psychologist.....but more importantly.....I have 18 years experience

in forming women's support networks, as a participant aswell, that

get to the heart of the ;self': self image,,,self esteem,,,,and most

importantly...self care...phyisically, emotionally, mentally and

spiritually ( not 'necesariy religious spirituality)

Kathi...for those of us who can't get together physcially,,,perhaps

I coulf help you facility something on ;chat. " Coffee Talk " . It

takes us women a while to trust,,,,but the bond grows with each

risk of 'opening up.

I have lots of ideas. Please let me know if I can help!

Hugs!......Di....PLS....Canada

>

> Hi all,

>

> I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for women.

As I talk

> to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

bonding and

> provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So, I'm

seeking

> input.

>

> I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about a

forum where

> we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

femaleness and

> sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

staying positive,

> stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

finding

> decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

still attractive,

> exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

massage or facial, etc.

>

> Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA and

have a place

> near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

location.

>

> Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

thought was

> pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D. Stuff

like this article

> would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

>

> best,

> Kathi

>

>

>

> FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

apology.

> Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of who

you are.

> When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a greater

whole, it

> becomes a weapon against us and others.

> We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

for us may be

> detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others are

not.

> Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

life.

> Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and eventually

death.

> At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

value in

> society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one of

many

> disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community. We

are participating in

> a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

found in the

> image of God.

> The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

yours alone,

> and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

circle that

> leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

radical approaches

> to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

justifications, and

> no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

and me, God!! "

> Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep wounds

which may

> have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury, and

so forth.

> We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on our

lives;

> forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of the

pain.

> Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish, depression,

failure,

> and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

perceived images of

> who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

throughout your

> life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize it

when it

> comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it but

you will be

> expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

through it.

> One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been defined

as being

> the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of the

should’s, "

> which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave, unselfish.

We should

> be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

everybody, love

> everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

feel sorry for

> oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

should be in

> control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

things to be

> different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

alien to who

> we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

others and not

> trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

are. Authentic

> acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

thoughts, while also

> being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

image " which

> denies our limitations and problems. As we face our disabilities

with honesty,

> we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

entering into

> this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

injured vanity

> and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being disabled

or needing

> assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People who

abuse,

> discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

inaccessible do not

> apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry " for

being who you

> are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

assistive devices.

> When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid passing

guilt around,

> and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

become witnesses

> of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

within

> ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

others to do so.

> Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what you

have lost or

> never had.

> Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

feelings and

> emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

healed of

> bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others and

GOD. Acceptance

> is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

having

> disability removed from your life. It is about living with

disability in creative

> and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we are.

> Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

freedom to Be

> and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

Acceptance is

> discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then using

them

> creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently

pursues us,

> that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

losing

> ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He who

is able to love

> himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

overcome

> self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

transform our lives, unless

> we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's} grace.

> Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

[Grace] strikes

> us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty

life.

> [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than

usual,

> because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or

from which we were

> estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own being,

our

> indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

direction and composure

> has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

after year, the

> longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

compulsions reign

> within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy

and

> courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that

which is greater

> than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kathi...this stuff is right up my ally....I am a counseling

psychologist.....but more importantly.....I have 18 years experience

in forming women's support networks, as a participant aswell, that

get to the heart of the ;self': self image,,,self esteem,,,,and most

importantly...self care...phyisically, emotionally, mentally and

spiritually ( not 'necesariy religious spirituality)

Kathi...for those of us who can't get together physcially,,,perhaps

I coulf help you facility something on ;chat. " Coffee Talk " . It

takes us women a while to trust,,,,but the bond grows with each

risk of 'opening up.

I have lots of ideas. Please let me know if I can help!

Hugs!......Di....PLS....Canada

>

> Hi all,

>

> I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for women.

As I talk

> to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

bonding and

> provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So, I'm

seeking

> input.

>

> I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about a

forum where

> we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

femaleness and

> sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

staying positive,

> stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

finding

> decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

still attractive,

> exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

massage or facial, etc.

>

> Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA and

have a place

> near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

location.

>

> Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

thought was

> pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D. Stuff

like this article

> would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

>

> best,

> Kathi

>

>

>

> FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

apology.

> Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of who

you are.

> When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a greater

whole, it

> becomes a weapon against us and others.

> We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

for us may be

> detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others are

not.

> Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

life.

> Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and eventually

death.

> At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

value in

> society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one of

many

> disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community. We

are participating in

> a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

found in the

> image of God.

> The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

yours alone,

> and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

circle that

> leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

radical approaches

> to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

justifications, and

> no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

and me, God!! "

> Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep wounds

which may

> have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury, and

so forth.

> We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on our

lives;

> forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of the

pain.

> Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish, depression,

failure,

> and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

perceived images of

> who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

throughout your

> life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize it

when it

> comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it but

you will be

> expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

through it.

> One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been defined

as being

> the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of the

should’s, "

> which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave, unselfish.

We should

> be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

everybody, love

> everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

feel sorry for

> oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

should be in

> control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

things to be

> different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

alien to who

> we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

others and not

> trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

are. Authentic

> acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

thoughts, while also

> being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

image " which

> denies our limitations and problems. As we face our disabilities

with honesty,

> we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

entering into

> this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

injured vanity

> and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being disabled

or needing

> assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People who

abuse,

> discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

inaccessible do not

> apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry " for

being who you

> are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

assistive devices.

> When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid passing

guilt around,

> and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

become witnesses

> of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

within

> ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

others to do so.

> Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what you

have lost or

> never had.

> Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

feelings and

> emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

healed of

> bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others and

GOD. Acceptance

> is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

having

> disability removed from your life. It is about living with

disability in creative

> and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we are.

> Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

freedom to Be

> and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

Acceptance is

> discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then using

them

> creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently

pursues us,

> that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

losing

> ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He who

is able to love

> himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

overcome

> self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

transform our lives, unless

> we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's} grace.

> Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

[Grace] strikes

> us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty

life.

> [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than

usual,

> because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or

from which we were

> estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own being,

our

> indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

direction and composure

> has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

after year, the

> longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

compulsions reign

> within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy

and

> courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that

which is greater

> than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Tawny! Yes..that is greeat. Why don't you hiy my peronaal email

sybol next to my nse,,,,it shoud put you through to my emaial. Love

to chst with you....put our heads together!

Take Care!!!!!!!!!

Di,....Canada

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for

women.

> As I talk

> > to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

> bonding and

> > provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So,

I'm

> seeking

> > input.

> >

> > I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about a

> forum where

> > we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

> femaleness and

> > sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

> staying positive,

> > stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

> finding

> > decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

> still attractive,

> > exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

> massage or facial, etc.

> >

> > Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA and

> have a place

> > near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

> location.

> >

> > Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

> thought was

> > pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D. Stuff

> like this article

> > would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

> >

> > best,

> > Kathi

> >

> >

> >

> > FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> > Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

> apology.

> > Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of

who

> you are.

> > When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a

greater

> whole, it

> > becomes a weapon against us and others.

> > We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

> for us may be

> > detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others are

> not.

> > Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

> life.

> > Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and

eventually

> death.

> > At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

> value in

> > society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one

of

> many

> > disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community.

We

> are participating in

> > a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

> found in the

> > image of God.

> > The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

> yours alone,

> > and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

> circle that

> > leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

> radical approaches

> > to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

> justifications, and

> > no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

> and me, God!! "

> > Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep

wounds

> which may

> > have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury,

and

> so forth.

> > We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on

our

> lives;

> > forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of

the

> pain.

> > Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish,

depression,

> failure,

> > and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

> perceived images of

> > who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

> throughout your

> > life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize

it

> when it

> > comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it

but

> you will be

> > expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

> through it.

> > One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been

defined

> as being

> > the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of

the

> should’s, "

> > which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave,

unselfish.

> We should

> > be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

> everybody, love

> > everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

> feel sorry for

> > oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

> should be in

> > control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

> things to be

> > different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> > The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

> alien to who

> > we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

> others and not

> > trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

> are. Authentic

> > acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

> thoughts, while also

> > being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> > Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

> image " which

> > denies our limitations and problems. As we face our disabilities

> with honesty,

> > we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

> entering into

> > this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

> injured vanity

> > and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> > Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being disabled

> or needing

> > assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People

who

> abuse,

> > discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

> inaccessible do not

> > apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry " for

> being who you

> > are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

> assistive devices.

> > When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid passing

> guilt around,

> > and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

> become witnesses

> > of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> > Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

> within

> > ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

> others to do so.

> > Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what you

> have lost or

> > never had.

> > Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

> feelings and

> > emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

> healed of

> > bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others

and

> GOD. Acceptance

> > is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

> having

> > disability removed from your life. It is about living with

> disability in creative

> > and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we are.

> > Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

> freedom to Be

> > and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

> Acceptance is

> > discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then using

> them

> > creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> > YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> > It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently

> pursues us,

> > that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

> losing

> > ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He who

> is able to love

> > himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

> overcome

> > self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

> transform our lives, unless

> > we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's} grace.

> > Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

> [Grace] strikes

> > us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and

empty

> life.

> > [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper

than

> usual,

> > because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or

> from which we were

> > estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own

being,

> our

> > indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

> direction and composure

> > has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

> after year, the

> > longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

> compulsions reign

> > within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all

joy

> and

> > courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by

that

> which is greater

> > than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey Tawny! Yes..that is greeat. Why don't you hiy my peronaal email

sybol next to my nse,,,,it shoud put you through to my emaial. Love

to chst with you....put our heads together!

Take Care!!!!!!!!!

Di,....Canada

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for

women.

> As I talk

> > to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

> bonding and

> > provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So,

I'm

> seeking

> > input.

> >

> > I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about a

> forum where

> > we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

> femaleness and

> > sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

> staying positive,

> > stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

> finding

> > decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

> still attractive,

> > exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

> massage or facial, etc.

> >

> > Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA and

> have a place

> > near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

> location.

> >

> > Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

> thought was

> > pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D. Stuff

> like this article

> > would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

> >

> > best,

> > Kathi

> >

> >

> >

> > FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> > Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

> apology.

> > Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of

who

> you are.

> > When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a

greater

> whole, it

> > becomes a weapon against us and others.

> > We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

> for us may be

> > detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others are

> not.

> > Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

> life.

> > Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and

eventually

> death.

> > At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

> value in

> > society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one

of

> many

> > disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community.

We

> are participating in

> > a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

> found in the

> > image of God.

> > The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

> yours alone,

> > and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

> circle that

> > leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

> radical approaches

> > to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

> justifications, and

> > no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

> and me, God!! "

> > Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep

wounds

> which may

> > have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury,

and

> so forth.

> > We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on

our

> lives;

> > forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of

the

> pain.

> > Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish,

depression,

> failure,

> > and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

> perceived images of

> > who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

> throughout your

> > life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize

it

> when it

> > comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it

but

> you will be

> > expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

> through it.

> > One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been

defined

> as being

> > the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of

the

> should’s, "

> > which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave,

unselfish.

> We should

> > be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

> everybody, love

> > everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

> feel sorry for

> > oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

> should be in

> > control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

> things to be

> > different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> > The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

> alien to who

> > we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

> others and not

> > trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

> are. Authentic

> > acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

> thoughts, while also

> > being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> > Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

> image " which

> > denies our limitations and problems. As we face our disabilities

> with honesty,

> > we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

> entering into

> > this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

> injured vanity

> > and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> > Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being disabled

> or needing

> > assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People

who

> abuse,

> > discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

> inaccessible do not

> > apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry " for

> being who you

> > are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

> assistive devices.

> > When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid passing

> guilt around,

> > and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

> become witnesses

> > of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> > Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

> within

> > ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

> others to do so.

> > Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what you

> have lost or

> > never had.

> > Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

> feelings and

> > emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

> healed of

> > bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others

and

> GOD. Acceptance

> > is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

> having

> > disability removed from your life. It is about living with

> disability in creative

> > and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we are.

> > Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

> freedom to Be

> > and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

> Acceptance is

> > discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then using

> them

> > creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> > YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> > It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently

> pursues us,

> > that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

> losing

> > ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He who

> is able to love

> > himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

> overcome

> > self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

> transform our lives, unless

> > we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's} grace.

> > Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

> [Grace] strikes

> > us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and

empty

> life.

> > [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper

than

> usual,

> > because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or

> from which we were

> > estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own

being,

> our

> > indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

> direction and composure

> > has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

> after year, the

> > longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

> compulsions reign

> > within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all

joy

> and

> > courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by

that

> which is greater

> > than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey Tawny! Yes..that is greeat. Why don't you hiy my peronaal email

sybol next to my nse,,,,it shoud put you through to my emaial. Love

to chst with you....put our heads together!

Take Care!!!!!!!!!

Di,....Canada

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for

women.

> As I talk

> > to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

> bonding and

> > provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So,

I'm

> seeking

> > input.

> >

> > I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about a

> forum where

> > we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

> femaleness and

> > sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

> staying positive,

> > stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

> finding

> > decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

> still attractive,

> > exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

> massage or facial, etc.

> >

> > Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA and

> have a place

> > near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

> location.

> >

> > Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

> thought was

> > pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D. Stuff

> like this article

> > would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

> >

> > best,

> > Kathi

> >

> >

> >

> > FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> > Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

> apology.

> > Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of

who

> you are.

> > When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a

greater

> whole, it

> > becomes a weapon against us and others.

> > We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

> for us may be

> > detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others are

> not.

> > Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

> life.

> > Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and

eventually

> death.

> > At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

> value in

> > society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one

of

> many

> > disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community.

We

> are participating in

> > a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

> found in the

> > image of God.

> > The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

> yours alone,

> > and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

> circle that

> > leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

> radical approaches

> > to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

> justifications, and

> > no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

> and me, God!! "

> > Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep

wounds

> which may

> > have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury,

and

> so forth.

> > We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on

our

> lives;

> > forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of

the

> pain.

> > Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish,

depression,

> failure,

> > and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

> perceived images of

> > who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

> throughout your

> > life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize

it

> when it

> > comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it

but

> you will be

> > expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

> through it.

> > One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been

defined

> as being

> > the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of

the

> should’s, "

> > which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave,

unselfish.

> We should

> > be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

> everybody, love

> > everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

> feel sorry for

> > oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

> should be in

> > control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

> things to be

> > different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> > The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

> alien to who

> > we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

> others and not

> > trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

> are. Authentic

> > acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

> thoughts, while also

> > being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> > Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

> image " which

> > denies our limitations and problems. As we face our disabilities

> with honesty,

> > we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

> entering into

> > this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

> injured vanity

> > and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> > Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being disabled

> or needing

> > assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People

who

> abuse,

> > discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

> inaccessible do not

> > apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry " for

> being who you

> > are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

> assistive devices.

> > When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid passing

> guilt around,

> > and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

> become witnesses

> > of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> > Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

> within

> > ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

> others to do so.

> > Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what you

> have lost or

> > never had.

> > Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

> feelings and

> > emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

> healed of

> > bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others

and

> GOD. Acceptance

> > is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

> having

> > disability removed from your life. It is about living with

> disability in creative

> > and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we are.

> > Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

> freedom to Be

> > and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

> Acceptance is

> > discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then using

> them

> > creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> > YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> > It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently

> pursues us,

> > that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

> losing

> > ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He who

> is able to love

> > himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

> overcome

> > self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

> transform our lives, unless

> > we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's} grace.

> > Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

> [Grace] strikes

> > us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and

empty

> life.

> > [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper

than

> usual,

> > because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or

> from which we were

> > estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own

being,

> our

> > indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

> direction and composure

> > has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

> after year, the

> > longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

> compulsions reign

> > within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all

joy

> and

> > courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by

that

> which is greater

> > than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I agree Mike. In my first job as a therapist, we were given regualr

debriefing sessions and courses on 'letting go' of clients issues. I

really helped.

But the Crisis Intervention counseling job I had for that last few

years before I was put off sick had no such scheme....crazy huh!? In

fact, the attitude was " If ya can't stand the heat...... " . Battle of

the 'toughest.....and really a stupid attitude. I suggested stress

management workshops and got laughed at.

I don't say stress is the CAUSE of PLS, but it sure does affect

it...no doubt!

Take care Mike!

Di.........PLS.......Canada

In PLS-FRIENDS , " Gray " wrote:

>

> Well, seems to be a few of us - therapists - in this group. Maybe

that is

> one of the reasons we have this *&$##$ disease? The stress dealing

with

> others' and their problems doesn't give us much chance to recharge

our own

> batteries, unless we do it deliberately.

>

> I have had 35 years of doing this job with a few years in

administration. It

> actually was during this time that I developed the major symptoms

of PLS. I

> had been having symptoms for a few years before, but did not know

what they

> meant. Just ignored them. I know, I know - Men are warriors, not

worriers. I

> should have seem my doc back then, but what would he have known?

>

> Mike Gray

> Re: Re: Acceptance and brainstorming/Ideas

from Di

>

>

> hi di---sent kathi similar email--i am psychotherapist

too....isn't that

> interesting?

> tawny

>

> kathi, these are the things we are needing to hit at....i am

single and

> cannot figure out why anyone would date me despite interests....i

see dating

> ambulatory and there is wheelchair guy i know who has freidriech's

ataxia

> who is very interested....i don't see that. my excuse, which is

mostly

> valid, is that i haven't the energy to date.

> Tawny

>

> dianamj_canuck wrote:

> Kathi...this stuff is right up my ally....I am a counseling

> psychologist.....but more importantly.....I have 18 years

experience

> in forming women's support networks, as a participant aswell, that

> get to the heart of the ;self': self image,,,self esteem,,,,and

most

> importantly...self care...phyisically, emotionally, mentally and

> spiritually ( not 'necesariy religious spirituality)

>

> Kathi...for those of us who can't get together physcially,,,perhaps

> I coulf help you facility something on ;chat. " Coffee Talk " . It

> takes us women a while to trust,,,,but the bond grows with each

> risk of 'opening up.

>

> I have lots of ideas. Please let me know if I can help!

>

> Hugs!......Di....PLS....Canada

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for women.

> As I talk

> > to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

> bonding and

> > provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So, I'm

> seeking

> > input.

> >

> > I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about a

> forum where

> > we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

> femaleness and

> > sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

> staying positive,

> > stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

> finding

> > decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

> still attractive,

> > exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

> massage or facial, etc.

> >

> > Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA and

> have a place

> > near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

> location.

> >

> > Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

> thought was

> > pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D. Stuff

> like this article

> > would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

> >

> > best,

> > Kathi

> >

> >

> >

> > FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> > Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

> apology.

> > Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of who

> you are.

> > When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a greater

> whole, it

> > becomes a weapon against us and others.

> > We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

> for us may be

> > detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others are

> not.

> > Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

> life.

> > Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and eventually

> death.

> > At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

> value in

> > society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one of

> many

> > disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community.

We

> are participating in

> > a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

> found in the

> > image of God.

> > The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

> yours alone,

> > and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

> circle that

> > leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

> radical approaches

> > to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

> justifications, and

> > no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

> and me, God!! "

> > Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep

wounds

> which may

> > have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury,

and

> so forth.

> > We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on

our

> lives;

> > forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of

the

> pain.

> > Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish, depression,

> failure,

> > and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

> perceived images of

> > who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

> throughout your

> > life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize

it

> when it

> > comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it but

> you will be

> > expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

> through it.

> > One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been

defined

> as being

> > the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of the

> shouldâ?Ts, "

> > which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave, unselfish.

> We should

> > be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

> everybody, love

> > everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

> feel sorry for

> > oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

> should be in

> > control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

> things to be

> > different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> > The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

> alien to who

> > we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

> others and not

> > trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

> are. Authentic

> > acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

> thoughts, while also

> > being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> > Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

> image " which

> > denies our limitations and problems. As we face our disabilities

> with honesty,

> > we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

> entering into

> > this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

> injured vanity

> > and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> > Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being disabled

> or needing

> > assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People who

> abuse,

> > discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

> inaccessible do not

> > apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry " for

> being who you

> > are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

> assistive devices.

> > When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid passing

> guilt around,

> > and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

> become witnesses

> > of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> > Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

> within

> > ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

> others to do so.

> > Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what you

> have lost or

> > never had.

> > Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

> feelings and

> > emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

> healed of

> > bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others

and

> GOD. Acceptance

> > is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

> having

> > disability removed from your life. It is about living with

> disability in creative

> > and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we are.

> > Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

> freedom to Be

> > and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

> Acceptance is

> > discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then using

> them

> > creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> > YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> > It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently

> pursues us,

> > that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

> losing

> > ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He who

> is able to love

> > himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

> overcome

> > self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

> transform our lives, unless

> > we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's} grace.

> > Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

> [Grace] strikes

> > us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and

empty

> life.

> > [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper

than

> usual,

> > because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or

> from which we were

> > estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own being,

> our

> > indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

> direction and composure

> > has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

> after year, the

> > longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

> compulsions reign

> > within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all

joy

> and

> > courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that

> which is greater

> > than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hi Mike....Ha ha!....ummm...it was late...OK....Baclofen, and my

night time clonazapam and 6 mg of Zanaflex. Wuz the matter....you

can't read " PLS-ese " ????. *smirk*

Di

> > >

> > > Hi all,

> > >

> > > I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for

> women.

> > As I talk

> > > to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun and

> > bonding and

> > > provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So,

> I'm

> > seeking

> > > input.

> > >

> > > I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking about

a

> > forum where

> > > we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

> > femaleness and

> > > sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

> > staying positive,

> > > stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

> > finding

> > > decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

> > still attractive,

> > > exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

> > massage or facial, etc.

> > >

> > > Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA

and

> > have a place

> > > near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

> > location.

> > >

> > > Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

> > thought was

> > > pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D.

Stuff

> > like this article

> > > would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

> > >

> > > best,

> > > Kathi

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> > > Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

> > apology.

> > > Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of

> who

> > you are.

> > > When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a

> greater

> > whole, it

> > > becomes a weapon against us and others.

> > > We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and right

> > for us may be

> > > detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others

are

> > not.

> > > Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

> > life.

> > > Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and

> eventually

> > death.

> > > At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

> > value in

> > > society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one

> of

> > many

> > > disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community.

> We

> > are participating in

> > > a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

> > found in the

> > > image of God.

> > > The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

> > yours alone,

> > > and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

> > circle that

> > > leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

> > radical approaches

> > > to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

> > justifications, and

> > > no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's you

> > and me, God!! "

> > > Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep

> wounds

> > which may

> > > have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury,

> and

> > so forth.

> > > We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on

> our

> > lives;

> > > forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of

> the

> > pain.

> > > Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish,

> depression,

> > failure,

> > > and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

> > perceived images of

> > > who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

> > throughout your

> > > life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all. Recognize

> it

> > when it

> > > comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it

> but

> > you will be

> > > expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

> > through it.

> > > One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been

> defined

> > as being

> > > the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of

> the

> > shouldâ?Ts, "

> > > which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave,

> unselfish.

> > We should

> > > be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

> > everybody, love

> > > everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt, or

> > feel sorry for

> > > oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

> > should be in

> > > control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

> > things to be

> > > different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> > > The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

> > alien to who

> > > we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

> > others and not

> > > trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

> > are. Authentic

> > > acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

> > thoughts, while also

> > > being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> > > Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

> > image " which

> > > denies our limitations and problems. As we face our

disabilities

> > with honesty,

> > > we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel. However,

> > entering into

> > > this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

> > injured vanity

> > > and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> > > Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being

disabled

> > or needing

> > > assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People

> who

> > abuse,

> > > discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

> > inaccessible do not

> > > apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry "

for

> > being who you

> > > are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

> > assistive devices.

> > > When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid

passing

> > guilt around,

> > > and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities. We

> > become witnesses

> > > of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> > > Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found deep

> > within

> > > ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

> > others to do so.

> > > Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what

you

> > have lost or

> > > never had.

> > > Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

> > feelings and

> > > emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

> > healed of

> > > bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others

> and

> > GOD. Acceptance

> > > is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not about

> > having

> > > disability removed from your life. It is about living with

> > disability in creative

> > > and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we

are.

> > > Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming the

> > freedom to Be

> > > and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

> > Acceptance is

> > > discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then

using

> > them

> > > creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> > > YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> > > It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that

permanently

> > pursues us,

> > > that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from

> > losing

> > > ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He

who

> > is able to love

> > > himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

> > overcome

> > > self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

> > transform our lives, unless

> > > we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's}

grace.

> > > Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

> > [Grace] strikes

> > > us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and

> empty

> > life.

> > > [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper

> than

> > usual,

> > > because we have violated another life, a life which we loved,

or

> > from which we were

> > > estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own

> being,

> > our

> > > indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

> > direction and composure

> > > has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

> > after year, the

> > > longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

> > compulsions reign

> > > within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all

> joy

> > and

> > > courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by

> that

> > which is greater

> > > than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Actually Ronnie...it's Di-ese, after taking her bedtime meds! Ha

ha!!!! I re-read it....ha ha...now THAT's what baclofen and zanaflex

at the same time do to you!! Should have said 'good-night to the

folks Gracie " Ha ha!!

> >> >

> >> > Hi all,

> >> >

> >> > I've been thinking about organizing a special retreat for

> > women.

> >> As I talk

> >> > to other women in our community, it seems this could be fun

and

> >> bonding and

> >> > provide a forum to explore some real human/women issues. So,

> > I'm

> >> seeking

> >> > input.

> >> >

> >> > I'm really in the early stages of this, but I'm thinking

about a

> >> forum where

> >> > we can explore identity as a disabled person and a woman,

> >> femaleness and

> >> > sexuality, body image, rest and relaxation, finding purpose,

> >> staying positive,

> >> > stress issues, yada yada. Perhaps some practical stuff like

> >> finding

> >> > decent-looking shoes and clothes that are comfortable and yet

> >> still attractive,

> >> > exercises and stretching, etc. Maybe a spa-experience like

> >> massage or facial, etc.

> >> >

> >> > Any interest? Thoughts? A weekend? Longer? I live in MA

and

> >> have a place

> >> > near Tampa but could also consider organizing this in another

> >> location.

> >> >

> >> > Below is an article I found online that I did not write but

> >> thought was

> >> > pretty good on Acceptance by The Rev. Lane, Ph.D.

Stuff

> >> like this article

> >> > would be great to have at a retreat and discuss it.

> >> >

> >> > best,

> >> > Kathi

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> > FINDING ACCEPTANCE OF OURSELVES AND OUR DISABILITIES

> >> > Know who you are. Accept who you are, without shame, without

> >> apology.

> >> > Integrate your limitations and disabilities into the whole of

> > who

> >> you are.

> >> > When disability is not integrated as simply one part of a

> > greater

> >> whole, it

> >> > becomes a weapon against us and others.

> >> > We are all different, all of us unique. What is good and

right

> >> for us may be

> >> > detrimental to another. Some concepts are for you, others

are

> >> not.

> >> > Do not blame disability for everything that goes wrong in your

> >> life.

> >> > Everyone struggles with loss, problems, suffering, and

> > eventually

> >> death.

> >> > At the same time, recognize that a struggle for acceptance and

> >> value in

> >> > society is involved. We are not alone in this struggle but one

> > of

> >> many

> >> > disenfranchised groups in our society and religious community.

> > We

> >> are participating in

> >> > a universal struggle for acceptance of the diversity which is

> >> found in the

> >> > image of God.

> >> > The responsibility for yourself, your life, and your growth is

> >> yours alone,

> >> > and no one else's. The " blaming game " is a dead end, vicious

> >> circle that

> >> > leads no where except to more of the same. One of the more

> >> radical approaches

> >> > to personality transformation allows for no reasons, no

> >> justifications, and

> >> > no excuses. This is the point at which we cry, " Okay, it's

you

> >> and me, God!! "

> >> > Acceptance comes as we do the hard work of healing the deep

> > wounds

> >> which may

> >> > have been caused by abuse, rejection, loss, betrayal, injury,

> > and

> >> so forth.

> >> > We heal the wounds as we name and acknowledge their affect on

> > our

> >> lives;

> >> > forgive ourselves, others and God as necessary; and let go of

> > the

> >> pain.

> >> > Allow yourself to enter into the moments of anguish,

> > depression,

> >> failure,

> >> > and grief. We do experience loss; we do grieve for real or

> >> perceived images of

> >> > who we were or might have been. The grief cycle will recur

> >> throughout your

> >> > life time. You cannot conclude it once and for all.

Recognize

> > it

> >> when it

> >> > comes and know it will pass. You will not be shattered by it

> > but

> >> you will be

> >> > expanded by the presence of God in the midst of the journey

> >> through it.

> >> > One of the most debilitating neuroses of our time has been

> > defined

> >> as being

> >> > the desire to be perfect. This is the trap of the " tyranny of

> > the

> >> shouldâ?Ts, "

> >> > which says: We should be honest, courageous, brave,

> > unselfish.

> >> We should

> >> > be perfect. We should be able to endure everything, be like

> >> everybody, love

> >> > everyone; nothing should matter; we should never feel hurt,

or

> >> feel sorry for

> >> > oneself; we should be grateful to be alive at all times; we

> >> should be in

> >> > control of all emotions and feelings; we should not wish for

> >> things to be

> >> > different; we should be able to overcome every difficulty.

> >> > The " shoulds " are a pressure against us determined by a world

> >> alien to who

> >> > we are. As long as we " should, " we are serving the gods of

> >> others and not

> >> > trusting our inner responsibility to being who we are, as we

> >> are. Authentic

> >> > acceptance is claiming our own experience, authority, and

> >> thoughts, while also

> >> > being honest about our limitations and circumstances.

> >> > Acceptance is found only be letting go of our " idealized self-

> >> image " which

> >> > denies our limitations and problems. As we face our

disabilities

> >> with honesty,

> >> > we will struggle with the suffering and pain we feel.

However,

> >> entering into

> >> > this suffering actually liberates us from the suffering of

> >> injured vanity

> >> > and excessive sensitivity to the world.

> >> > Acceptance means who do not have to apologize for being

disabled

> >> or needing

> >> > assistance. It is letting go of all guilt and shame. People

> > who

> >> abuse,

> >> > discriminate, and are otherwise insensitive, unaware, or

> >> inaccessible do not

> >> > apologize for their behavior. You do not need to be " sorry "

for

> >> being who you

> >> > are, or for needing more time, assistance, and for using

> >> assistive devices.

> >> > When we do not apologize for little accidents, we avoid

passing

> >> guilt around,

> >> > and we allow grace to work in and through our disabilities.

We

> >> become witnesses

> >> > of God at work in and through our lives as we are.

> >> > Acceptance is not " out there " somewhere: it is to be found

deep

> >> within

> >> > ourselves.. If we cannot accept who we are, we cannot expect

> >> others to do so.

> >> > Focus on the abilities you have been given, and not on what

you

> >> have lost or

> >> > never had.

> >> > Acceptance is the result of integrating disability and all the

> >> feelings and

> >> > emotions associated with that experience. Acceptance is being

> >> healed of

> >> > bitterness and resentment through forgiving ourselves, others

> > and

> >> GOD. Acceptance

> >> > is about being whole in body, mind and spirit. It is not

about

> >> having

> >> > disability removed from your life. It is about living with

> >> disability in creative

> >> > and meaningful ways which celebrate the goodness of who we

are.

> >> > Acceptance is knowing fully who you are, and then claiming

the

> >> freedom to Be

> >> > and Become All that God has created you to be in the world.

> >> Acceptance is

> >> > discerning and claiming your gifts and abilities and then

using

> >> them

> >> > creatively to make a difference in the world around you.

> >> > YOU ARE ACCEPTED

> >> > It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that

permanently

> >> pursues us,

> >> > that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us

from

> >> losing

> >> > ourselves in the love with which we are loved eternally. He

who

> >> is able to love

> >> > himself is able to love others also; she who has learned to

> >> overcome

> >> > self-contempt has overcome contempt for others. We cannot

> >> transform our lives, unless

> >> > we allow them to be transformed by the stroke of {God's}

grace.

> >> > Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness.

> >> [Grace] strikes

> >> > us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and

> > empty

> >> life.

> >> > [Grace] strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper

> > than

> >> usual,

> >> > because we have violated another life, a life which we loved,

or

> >> from which we were

> >> > estranged. [Grace] strikes us when our disgust for our own

> > being,

> >> our

> >> > indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of

> >> direction and composure

> >> > has become intolerable for us. [Grace] strikes us when, year

> >> after year, the

> >> > longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old

> >> compulsions reign

> >> > within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all

> > joy

> >> and

> >> > courage. You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by

> > that

> >> which is greater

> >> > than you. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >