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Regal1d

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Dear Regal1d,

I am sorry that you feel you haven't been supported by this group. Please

understand that however hard one tries, it is very difficult to run a

group to please everyone. I know this because I founded and moderate the

German speaking group.

When women don't reply to a post, it doesn't mean that they don't care or

view you as clutter. It may just mean that they find it hard to identify

with your situation. You are only 45, you don't seem in your innermost

heart to have said goodbye to the wish for children and you don't seem to

be having a great deal of symptoms. I think that many other women in your

situation on this list may just simply find it hard to really understand

why you are scheduled for hysterectomy. It isn't that this group is

anti-hysterectomy, indeed there have been some very moving stories of women

who have made this decision, a few years ago there was a women called

Marilyn who posted regularly during her journey to explore all the options

before deciding for the hysterectomy. You might find the posts if you use

the search function.

Anyone reading this list regularly will notice that hysterectomy is

discussed on this list but it simply isn't the main focus here, perhaps you

haven't been on the list long enough to realise this. I am sure there are

many groups of women on the net for whom hysterectomy is the main focus and

they might be able to support you through this experience much more

effectively. I have heard of hystersisters and sans-uteri, but perhaps

there are others which suit you better. It might also be a good idea to

read up on all the different types of hysterecomy. We have had some women

on the German group decide for the subtotal hysterectomy, which they

considered less invasive as it leaves the cervix intact. Obviously you

still have to go for pap smears if you choose this option.

Take care and best wishes,

At 18:34 13.02.04 +0000, you wrote:

>Message: 18

> Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 16:16:41 -0000

>

>Subject: My surgery

>

>Well....I posted to this group on two occassions and no one ever

>responded to my queries. I have a surgery (hysterectomy) scheduled

>for Tuesday (2/17). I believe, at this point, that it is the best

>option for me. I have nine fibroids, the largest is around 18 cm in

>diameter. God has truly blessed me, in that I do not have ANY of

>the " typical " symptoms that are associated with this condition....no

>lengthy periods, no large clots or tissue passage, no painful sexual

>intercourse.....nothing. I am 45 years old, have never had any

>children, though I have wanted them all my life. I explored every

>option available to me, and with the help of my doctor sought out a

>specialists (actually he is my doctor's gynecologist). I have prayed

>and sought the advice/support from my family and friends. I just

>thought that a group with a dedicated purpose, to inform and provide

>a forum through which one could gain knowledge and support would

>provide more for ME. I joined this group seeking SUPPORT, and found

>none for me. I do applaud you all for not only the details but also

>the sensitivity you provide to the people you find interesting enough

>to respond to, but feel completely left out within this forum. I am

>the type of person who will refer this group to others who might be

>seeking what I have seen you give to others....I guess I just showed

>up as " clutter " .

>REGAL1D

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