Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Thanks, It's is just hard to believe that after alI of these years of

working together with the kids. He had once been laid off and I did not divorce

him

at that time. Now, when I experience a layoff and then have to return to

work at a lower pay, he intorduces this idea also. This only makes things more

rough and unhappy.

I am not even sure that my lawyer is actually working for me and I'm not sure

his is really working for him. I actually think that the lawyers are working

for themselves. Since my lawyer is not answering my phone calls and did not

make a motion to redo the financing when I lost my job and now when we are

moving toward the final court sessions, she is still asking for money ahead of

when it will be used. It still seems finaancially better to endure this

emmotionally abusive relationship at least untill I have a job confirmation.

Most of the jobs that I get interviews for are in Milwaukee. That would be a

lot of driving. The homes are cheaper there, therefore I believe that I

could possibly get a home near Alverno where my 18 year old would like to attend

school. Then she could be a landlord and rent the rooms out to friends and

they could all save money on dorm costs.

I know that it would be difficult to get the other children to transfer

schools, but at least with the shared parenting, they would have days that they

could spend in Milwaukee with me.

I try to believe that things will eventually work out ok. I just talked to

's church priest and another member there and I'm trying to put it all in

God's hands so that I will be strong enough to make sure that the end result

is what is best for all of us.

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Currently, I would only like to exchange an ornament. Address is

7927 42nd Ave.

Kenosha, WI. 53142

Thanks,

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

OK, Jeanette, I will add you for ornament only, but please send me your last

name. I will send out the current list in just a few...

Hart

TR 6-4-01 ~ 8cm R ~ 9cm L

~ Mom to 4 Great Children ~

Arianne (16) ~ a (8)

(5) ~ Bean (1)

Glory to God and Many Thanks to Dr. Levin!

http://www.geocities.com/thehartclantx/Thehartclantx.html

Life's riches are not measured in dollars.

Re: Jeanette

Hi,

Currently, I would only like to exchange an ornament. Address is

7927 42nd Ave.

Kenosha, WI. 53142

Thanks,

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Currently, I am attempting to find tenative plans on how to handle this

situation that I am unfamiliar with. The situation is being unemployed and

husband

filing divorce and threatening that he will take the children from me. He

says that he has had this planned for awhile and the process has been going on

since Jan. It does not seem that he will give us as a family another chance.

I had first come to this support group, because of my increased

depression/anxiety related to the symptons from my TL in June 2001. Both of my

husband's

sisters had a TL and did not have the resulting symptons as I had. Now, my

cycle has been regular for about 1 1/2 years and with our debts, his advancing

age, his mother's death and my job loss, he states that he could have done

better without me.

I had been working with a subsidiary state funded tech college. Due to the

terrorist war that used state funds, past state positions layed off 45,000

people. Unfortunately, I was one of them.

I have 2 community college degrees and a 4 year degree and 20 + years work

experience with good work history. The job development center VA personnel say

that I have a good resume and should be able to get another state position

soon.

I have had 6 interviews and will soon be scheduling 2 more. I have received

news from 2 of the 6 positions that I was not selected for those ones.

I have started a real estate class and am attending a Women's Horizons

support group for domestic violence for this is considered a case of emmorional

domestic violence. Saturday, I have a physical to continue my Navy Reserve

career.

I have seen several counselors, and am currently more willing to work with

counseling for the pills that I receive from the psychiatrists seem to be trial

and error medicines that don't seem to help much yet. It is difficult to

retain self confidence when this many challenges intercede.

I would love to be able to handle my stress challenges through exercise,

support groups and counselling when needed. I just need to learn to balance

this

new situation and not take on too much again.

Any advice would be helpful.

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Jeanette,a couple of years ago I too was in a deep depression.Most medicines

did not work for me either but they finally put me on clonipin(possibly

wrong spelling)the very next day it was like the sun had come back out again

Just a suggestion.Sorry you are having such a rough time.I too have had the

PTS symptoms but did not realize that was what they were until I looked into

reversal.The therapist,psychiatrist,or doctor's never let me know that is

what a lot of what was happening with me could have been.Just know that we

care for you and hope we can help you through it. Tina H.

Tina H.-36,DH-Mike-27,

DD-Summer-19

DS--15.DS--14,DS-Jordan-11

TL 8-15-1992

TR Spring 2004 Dr.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I live in Kenosha. It is in southern Wisconsin and about 10 minutes from the

Illinois border.

I hope we live near each other.

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry Jeanette.My ex also used the depression excuse.He was " forced "

to cheat on me because of my years of depression.I feel that marriage vows

saying in sickness and health covers the depression too.I was there for him

through surgeries that he had but I guess they do not consider depression

covered under sickness.I am praying for you.Take care.Tina H.

Tina H. 36 DH-Mike 27

DD- 19 DS- 15

DS- 14 DS-Jordan 11

TL 8-15-1992

TR Spring 2004 Dr.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Thanks, I guess I'm so hurt because I trusted so much. I really hope that I

can find a new job before this is all over. I also wonder if it is too late

for me to consider a reversal for I am already 46. It will take a while before

I am ready to accept a 2nd marriage. This " new life " suggestion and moving

on is very difficult on both me and the children. I want to be strong,

although adding this to un-employment even makes it more difficult. Since our

current home needs a lot of repairs, I'd rather take the buy-out, but I know

that he

is un-willing to be fair. After I complete my real-estate class and have a

new job, I'll feel better about pulling through all of this. I just wish that

he would have been honest and informed me before the children. If I was not a

trained mother who is willing to work, then the children would have had very

little. I just pray that they will not have to experience the same. It

really upsets me that he believes he should all be given primary custody. I am

only willing to give shared custody. He is unwilling to go to any counseling,

therefore I am quite sure that I will eventually have to accept this finality of

our 24 year marriage.

Any Advice???????????

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Charlotte,

I'm sorry, I am not aware of all of the rules for I am new to considering

this idea. I just want to know who is the safest, and most successful so that I

can trust getting a correct/safe procedure for me.

Thanks,

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Donna,

Thanks, you answered their curiosity better than I could. I really need the

most info that I can since I believe that my TL was done incorrectly. I was

also given very little info at that time as to how they were planning to do the

TL and as to if it was safe for me.

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I am informed that I have a better lawyer than he does and mine is more

expensive. Without currently having a job for me, I am more scared. He also

has

family here and I don't. His family also has more experience handling these

Divorce difficulties than mine does. I only have one sister that went through

this and her X did not contest, but she also never received child support

either. She did get to keep the home though and only paid about $600 for her

lawyer. Now that her X has died in a car accident, she is receiving social

security and saving that for her daughter's college. Her divorce was about 9

years

ago. She recently has bought a new home. They live in Georgia. I live in

Wisconsin and that is over the 150 mile radius of where I am allowed to travel

to

allow both of us to have shared custody. I do not believe that he will give

me full custody. Back in January, when he started this mess, he was

threatening to totally take the children from me and that he would make me pay

custody

for them, plus asking me to move out within 2 weeks. So far, I am still in

the home, but I did lose my old job and the transfer job that I felt forced to

accept. I am still living at our home and so is he and so are the 3 kids. We

are all very unhappy and keep on hoping that mom will soon receive a job since

she is still awaiting the results of 3 interviews and has 2 more interviews

tomorrow.

I am using Women's Horizons for help since this is mainly an Emmotional

Domestic Abusive related relationship. They advised me on the lawyer that I

have

chosen after calling several and visiting another. I just didn't expect all of

this to take so long.

Jeanette

[Guest guest]

Jeanette, I agree with and only wanna add a little bit. Try to find a

female attorney....a really strong-willed one, preferably who has full custody

of her children.

As for him coming and fighting about custody later, (1) nip that in the bud

ASAP, as in fight hard enough now that he won't want to go at it again later,

and (2) ANYTHING can be added to a lawsuit, including a request that once agreed

to, this arrangement cannot be altered or changed for X-amount of time, for

example, until the oldest child graduates high school, or whatever. Usually now

all this stuff goes thru family mediation rather than straight thru a courtroom

(judges want this stuff nailed down and don't want to hear all the " he said "

" she said " stuff. So you can make that one of your stickler points if you get

into mediation...find an arrangement you can both live with and insist it cannot

be changed. Ask your attorney about this.... My divorce papers say nothing

changes until the LAST child graduates, and this includes child support.

Tam

Jeanette

To be completely honest...it ALL has to do with who has the best

attorney. For 4 years I faught with a good attorney and I had done

everything right...but still wasn't winning. I spent soooo much

money (well my dad did) wasted actually becasue my attorney just

wasn't better than his SHARK. Well after he took Cody for a

Christams visit with no ending date...I took Cody and ran to DC for

a week. My bro-in-law called and found the BEST attorney in the

state of Texas and called him Christmas Eve and convined him to take

my case. At this point all we were hoping for was an appeal, but

within 5 months I had FULL custody. My ex actually gave up. He

couldn't hang. I out lawyered him. It may take money. but aren't

your kids worth it. It will cost more if you hire someone that is

not the best, lose you kids then realize you have to hire the best.

The best advice I can give is RESEARCH attorneys. Find the best.

ALSO document EVERYTHING. Save tapes of nasty messages. When you

drop kids off for visit have your video camera incase there is a

confrontation. BUT DOCUMENT EVERYTHING>>>PHONE CALLS, CONVERSATIONS

everything!!! If you want to talk more e-mail me at my prodigy

account, it is akparker@.... If you want me to help you

research attorneys, I can call mine and ask who he would recommend.

You may not have to use the most expensive one, just find out who

your ex is using and make sure yours is better, lol. It will work

out,,,promise!

> ,

>

> I need advice on handling our soon to be equal-shared joint

custody battles.

> From the comments that he has made, I believe he will still be

battling this

> after the divorce that he is asking for is complete.

>

> Thanks,

>

> Jeanette

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, I am 41, going to be 42 in December.

in MS~