Re: T-E-R-R-I-F-I-E-D!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

Oynx,

I really feel for you, The best way to get over fear is KNOWLEDGE.

At least I know it works and has worked for me in the past. Try to read

anything and everything about this problem, read all the posts on this forum and

ask questions, all of us in this group are going through the same thing. We help

each other by exchanging experiences etc...

The worst part of going through surgery is the anticipation, I know this, I had

a myo in 1990 and it took me 1 year to make up my mind and finally get it over

with. I even had my doctor calling me at home trying to convince me to GET IT

DONE. but I was too afraid just like you. In the end it had gotten unbearable

to deal with all the symptoms, and so I went for it. It was the best thing I

could have done, and in retrospect, it really wasn't as bad as I had expected it

to be.

Good luck to you,

Marisa

[Guest guest]

Onyx -

I have the same exact fears re: surgery that you do. I know that I need to

get this done and actually scheduled it once, but cancelled before hand. I

am terrified of hospitals and procedures. When I think about it, I get

panicky. My doctor suggested trying hypnosis and I'm actually going to look

into

it. Everyone says that the anticipation is far worse than the surgery and I

actually believe that - I just need help living through the anticipation

without ruining my life. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in

your fear. I believe I am just as scared as you are. I always think of

people that I know who have had surgery (elective) and how they seemed to be so

relaxed about the whole thing. If only I could be that way!

Amy

[Guest guest]

Dear Oynx,

I am sure that many of us in this group understand what you are experiencing.

You said you are alone. Where do you live, it might be possible if any of us

are close enough, we could help you.

[Guest guest]

Hi Oynx Pearl

1) If you just go and do it, it'll be over and done with and the

recovery period just flies by.

2) Once done, you might never have to worry about fibroids

again, if you're lucky

3) You'll also be less scared of any future operations

4) It isn't going to go away. In fact, the problem will get worse

, which might possibly mean a more invasive approach, or more

uncomfortable recovery

5) Sometimes in life we've just got to bravely face scary things.

6) The worry is much, much worse to endure than the experience

which isn't such a big deal as you are expecting.

7) The symptoms are worse than recovery sensations you're

getting

8) it may be the case that women with the most troublesome

symptoms are the ones that notice the biggest improvement

after surgery

9) This is getting in the way of you living your life. It can't go on.

10) You'll sleep through the whole experience

11) It's not as bad as dental treatment, which you are awake for

12) Don't read any negative posts - just look at the good ones.

Don't get bogged down in what might go wrong.

13) Don't use money or anything else as an excuse for not

getting this seen to.

14) Although message boards are logically, more likely to

feature complaints than satisfied customers, we actually hear a

lot of positive feedback from women who have had operations.

Don't get negative news stories out of proportion. Operations

have been performed since the beginning of time. Even

cavemen performed skull surgery with patients that survived!

Surgeons are well trained and they wouldn't perform an

operation if they thought it wasn't going to go well. One in 5

women have fibroids, so you can imagine, they must have had

an awful lot of practice.

15) If your fear levels are this bad, you should discuss it with the

doctor and maybe even consider counselling or hypnotherapy or

something. GPs also deal with issues like this as well as

physical ailment prescriptions and treatments. With symptoms

as bad as you describe and a terror of surgery keeping you from

fixing the problem, you really do have a problem. Relaxation

methods like yoga or Thai Chi might help (on video if symptoms

make classes tricky). Maybe you could get a diary or paper and

try to analyse what your fears are, what lies behind them and

rationalise them away. There might even be some unexpected

factor in your thinking that emerges from writing it all down.

Some of us had one particular specific fear, which we can chat

about on the forums.

16) You are NOT totally alone! You have all of us and the ladies

of other fibroid forums. we're all in the same boat and although

there's a great many posters, we are thinking of each other's

posts through the week, and wondering how people got on.

17) I had an abdominal myomectomy (details on Smartgroups

myo diary as Cat )and I had a particularly easy experience. I

didn't even need pain killers, except briefly once on day two in

hospital for a momentary pain with the 'stomach muscle' using

motion of getting out of bed for the first time. Myo recovery is like

having pulled a muscle doing sport. You feel fine as long as you

don't over exert that muscle. You just take it easy, doing anything

a fit healthy old granny can do for those first weeks. You can cook

simple meals, walk up the street and back to post a letter and

buy a simple meal from a corner shop, watch TV on the sofa and

basically do any activity that's not straining those muscles with

heavy lifting/pushing/pulling/stretching awkwardly.

18) If you have a good surgeon lined up, don't lose them by

cancelling repeatedly. They might be understanding the first

time, but do it too often and they could run out of patience

altogether, as it might mean re-scheduling other people's

operations.

19) Is there a question you feel your doctor or GP hasn't properly

discussed with you, that you are still unhappy about? For

example, I could see someone being scheduled for a

hysterectomy wanting something less invasive and perhaps

having regrets about not having children. Or someone bieng

afraid that the treatment they have opted for is more risky than

another option, when it's actually OK.

If you feel too apprehensive making an appointment or raising

that kind of issue with a gynaeclogist or GP, just remember that:

* They're human beings, not monsters

* It's just silly spending months worrying about something you

could be reassured about in moments

* Lots of women get second opinions and this is something a

doctor will probably take in their stride

* It's your body, your life and your decision, but as with dentists

appointments, also your responsibility

* Decide what you want to say or ask before the appointment and

ask the doc's to elaborate a little further when you need more

information.

20) What are you going to regret if you don't do the things you're

worried about?

Which questions will you regret not asking?

Which treatment will you regreat not opting for?

Will you regret the time wasted enduring horrible symptoms?

Also make sure that the symptoms you are experiencing don't

have a knock on effect causing other health problems.

A good way of tackling the fear is to know exactly what to expect

(See my myo diary and other peoples).

I read in Beckham's biography that when she had

worries she'd imagine putting those worries into a small boat

and then sending it sailing off to sea and far away. Try taking

your mind off it with comedy and positive music.

Aztek

Feel the fear (laugh at the fear) and do it anyway!!

[Guest guest]

Onyx,

I can relate to your fear. I've been trying to resolve my fibroid issue for

three years now. Scheduled a myo and canceled...several times....flew to

California for a less invasive procedure..chickened out of that too...

Finally I had focused ultra sound (part of a clinical trial in Boston)...and

things are a bit better, but not completely. Like this morning I have low back

pain and hip pain and can't bend forward. I can feel my large fibroid and it

feels so broad...like it goes from hip to hip and I imagine it's growing into my

nerves and ligaments and that's why I have lumbar pain and sciatic type pain.

I've tried to analyze the fear...and for me it's a control issue, and perhaps a

fear of dying before my time. Then I think, if it's my time to die...there

really couldn't be a much easier way to go...they give me the injection to put

me under and I travel on to the next world...

Recently my brother and brother-in-law died...and I wonder about how much pain

they felt with their transition to the other side. (One in a motor cycle

accident, my brother...gun shot wound.) Am I afraid of pain? Can the pain feel

much worse than what I live with on a daily basis?

Well...just some thoughts to let you know you're not alone. Thank you for

reaching out and please let me know if I can help you further... (in Ct.)

[Guest guest]

I always appreciate your sensative and informative replies. This particular one

was inspirational and very helpful for me. Thank you.

aztek002003 catrionabass@...> wrote:Hi Oynx Pearl

1) If you just go and do it, it'll be over and done with and the

recovery period just flies by.

2) Once done, you might never have to worry about fibroids

again, if you're lucky

3) You'll also be less scared of any future operations

4) It isn't going to go away. In fact, the problem will get worse

, which might possibly mean a more invasive approach, or more

uncomfortable recovery

5) Sometimes in life we've just got to bravely face scary things.

6) The worry is much, much worse to endure than the experience

which isn't such a big deal as you are expecting.

7) The symptoms are worse than recovery sensations you're

getting

8) it may be the case that women with the most troublesome

symptoms are the ones that notice the biggest improvement

after surgery

9) This is getting in the way of you living your life. It can't go on.

10) You'll sleep through the whole experience

11) It's not as bad as dental treatment, which you are awake for

12) Don't read any negative posts - just look at the good ones.

Don't get bogged down in what might go wrong.

13) Don't use money or anything else as an excuse for not

getting this seen to.

14) Although message boards are logically, more likely to

feature complaints than satisfied customers, we actually hear a

lot of positive feedback from women who have had operations.

Don't get negative news stories out of proportion. Operations

have been performed since the beginning of time. Even

cavemen performed skull surgery with patients that survived!

Surgeons are well trained and they wouldn't perform an

operation if they thought it wasn't going to go well. One in 5

women have fibroids, so you can imagine, they must have had

an awful lot of practice.

15) If your fear levels are this bad, you should discuss it with the

doctor and maybe even consider counselling or hypnotherapy or

something. GPs also deal with issues like this as well as

physical ailment prescriptions and treatments. With symptoms

as bad as you describe and a terror of surgery keeping you from

fixing the problem, you really do have a problem. Relaxation

methods like yoga or Thai Chi might help (on video if symptoms

make classes tricky). Maybe you could get a diary or paper and

try to analyse what your fears are, what lies behind them and

rationalise them away. There might even be some unexpected

factor in your thinking that emerges from writing it all down.

Some of us had one particular specific fear, which we can chat

about on the forums.

16) You are NOT totally alone! You have all of us and the ladies

of other fibroid forums. we're all in the same boat and although

there's a great many posters, we are thinking of each other's

posts through the week, and wondering how people got on.

17) I had an abdominal myomectomy (details on Smartgroups

myo diary as Cat )and I had a particularly easy experience. I

didn't even need pain killers, except briefly once on day two in

hospital for a momentary pain with the 'stomach muscle' using

motion of getting out of bed for the first time. Myo recovery is like

having pulled a muscle doing sport. You feel fine as long as you

don't over exert that muscle. You just take it easy, doing anything

a fit healthy old granny can do for those first weeks. You can cook

simple meals, walk up the street and back to post a letter and

buy a simple meal from a corner shop, watch TV on the sofa and

basically do any activity that's not straining those muscles with

heavy lifting/pushing/pulling/stretching awkwardly.

18) If you have a good surgeon lined up, don't lose them by

cancelling repeatedly. They might be understanding the first

time, but do it too often and they could run out of patience

altogether, as it might mean re-scheduling other people's

operations.

19) Is there a question you feel your doctor or GP hasn't properly

discussed with you, that you are still unhappy about? For

example, I could see someone being scheduled for a

hysterectomy wanting something less invasive and perhaps

having regrets about not having children. Or someone bieng

afraid that the treatment they have opted for is more risky than

another option, when it's actually OK.

If you feel too apprehensive making an appointment or raising

that kind of issue with a gynaeclogist or GP, just remember that:

* They're human beings, not monsters

* It's just silly spending months worrying about something you

could be reassured about in moments

* Lots of women get second opinions and this is something a

doctor will probably take in their stride

* It's your body, your life and your decision, but as with dentists

appointments, also your responsibility

* Decide what you want to say or ask before the appointment and

ask the doc's to elaborate a little further when you need more

information.

20) What are you going to regret if you don't do the things you're

worried about?

Which questions will you regret not asking?

Which treatment will you regreat not opting for?

Will you regret the time wasted enduring horrible symptoms?

Also make sure that the symptoms you are experiencing don't

have a knock on effect causing other health problems.

A good way of tackling the fear is to know exactly what to expect

(See my myo diary and other peoples).

I read in Beckham's biography that when she had

worries she'd imagine putting those worries into a small boat

and then sending it sailing off to sea and far away. Try taking

your mind off it with comedy and positive music.

Aztek

Feel the fear (laugh at the fear) and do it anyway!!