Wondering about the diagnosis

[Guest guest]

I'm wondering how many of you have children who would cut themselves? My 19

year old daughter never cut. She did hide knives in her room for a brief

period of time when my husband and I had just separated, but she never actually

cut. That was when she was 17. No evidence of any of that behavior in the

last 2 years.

She is currently living with me, did not go back to college this year. She

made dean's list first semester last year, then fell apart second semester.

There were a lot of upsetting events in her life second semester which

seemed to set her off. The one thing that I find with her is that she can not

handle any stress at all. In fact, the two biggest symptoms she presents with

are an inability to deal with stress and difficulty managing intimate

relationships. She is picking guys who have jobs and are somewhat stable, but

then

she creates a roller coaster relationship with them.

I guess I sometimes wonder how much of that is borderline thinking and how

much of it is fall out from a divorce and a dad who didn't speak to her for a

year. Can anybody delineate the difference for me.

Edie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/1/2005 6:21:02 PM Eastern Standard Time,

Bfreenowxo@... writes:

I guess I sometimes wonder how much of that is borderline thinking and how

much of it is fall out from a divorce and a dad who didn't speak to her for a

year. Can anybody delineate the difference for me.

Edie

The fallout from the divorce and the emotional abandonment from her father IS

what has caused the BPD. There is no difference. These are the traumas that

triggered her BPD. This is the wayward coping skills. She has none. None

of them w/BPD can handle stress. Their coping skills fly out the window.

About the cutting, my daughter did it a few times one year, but had stopped,

then

moved on to an eating disorder. It seemed her behaviors came and went in

stages. They don't all have to have all of the traits of BPD. They all have

different traits, some have them all. My daughter cut but didn't rage. Your

daughter may rage and not cut. My daughter too, had trouble w/boys, would find

a

good one, but then destroy the relationship, you know, leave them before they

could leave her. The abandonment issues. But she is doing so well now, and

has been with her new beau about 8 months now. They are doing well. They are

now speaking about getting their own place, well she says his own place, and

then she laughs and says, well, ours. I, in jest, said you cannot leave home

without me kicking you out! She laughed, she knew I was covering up my sadness

if she did decide to move out on her own. We are so happy now. Is your

daughter getting therapy or on any meds? Maybe the contract thing would work

with

her, get her back in to school, or at least working. Is she causing havoc at

your home? The contract might be a good thing to look into.

DebbieL