Guest guest Posted May 9, 2006 Report Share Posted May 9, 2006 Milena, How old is your daughter? I found after about age 14/15, I just did a lot of listening. They don't want to be told their thinking is different or about positive thinking. Maybe they just can't do it! Whatever parenting you've provided, direction and values is there. Over time, you will see it. I also try my hardest not to judge her, although I'm sure through body language she tells I cannot condone some of her choices. We do our best! Carol -------------- Original message -------------- > Reading this I realize I have been doing the same to my daughter. I always > puzzled about how her negative interpretation of events has some valid grounds > and yet it seemed like she exagerated the negative and could not cope with it > successfuly. > So, what is the sage advice? How are we supposed to react to them? > (BTW - I still don't know if mine is BPD, officially. She is definitely > bipolar, even though medication induced). > > Milena > > TxCoastGal@... wrote: > > Toni, I've never heard it quite put this way, and I so agree with you. > While mine was grumbling about this one or that one being mean to her, or > giving > her dirty looks, or not being fair, etc. I was trying to h elp her give > people the benefit of the doubt, and try to look at things from a positive > perspective! > Who knew, later that this would be considered invalidating behavior! > I would have never dreamed it! > > I just think that most of us did the best we could at the time, and you know > what? We didn't kill them... so we must be doing something right LOL! > > I am so sorry to hear of all your medical woes! I can't imagine what you've > been through. > > Hang in there Gal, > > Blondie > > In a message dated 5/6/2006 10:43:19 A.M. Central Daylight Time, > hephzeba2001@... writes: > > When she was 7, I had a heart transplant (traumatic enough for a kid) and we > lived with my mom for a while. This was SO HARD on her as my mom is messed > up and is a source of why I am what I am. After the surgery up to a while ago, > when B ecca told me about things, like her emotions and the way she > interpreted things, I inadvertantly invalidated her emotions. I had no idea > what I was > doing. I thought I was teaching her how to see the other side of the > picture, to see the situations from another point of view, helping her to look > at > possible alternative motivations for the people around her. Boy, now I see what > a mess > I made, thinking I was helping her. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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