Guest guest Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 To Group My daughter, 7 1/2 months pregnant with heart defect, now has pneumonia and is quite ill with it. I am rather worried about her. She has worked herself into a state of having no resistance to germs with her working so hard and worrying about money it seems. I am very tempted to help her financially. I need your imput. Any of you who remember her history, would you please give me some advice. I hate to see her making herself sick and she IS trying so very hard to keep it all together and hubby is working. She had bronchitis 3 weeks ago and went to work with it which is probably why she has pneumonia now and hubby went to work sick (upper respiratory with 102 fever) for 3 days. I just don't want any help I give her to reinforce in her that it is OK to keep having babies and someone will always help her. I have had the boys with me here for the past 5 days so she could rest. She was sick all week end but didn't go to doctor until yesterday when she couldn't breathe. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 Hi Jean, Here's my 2 cents worth ..... I agree with others - you are already helping a lot by having the 2 boys stay with you. Possible you could extend that for a while longer? Also -- I would imagine she'd appreciate and benefit from a nice big pot of homemade chicken soup, or other dishes you could cook and take to her. Personally I'd try to avoid offering money, as tempting as that may be. The natural consequences to her choices in the past few years are what now makes missing one week of work such a financial burden. To bail her out possibly won't allow her to learn the lessons she needs to. However, a natural thing for a mother to do in that situation I think would be to watch the children and make sure she has proper nourishment. After all, the sooner she gets better the sooner she can return to work and earning a living. Just my opinion. Joan ----Original Message Follows---- From: cascorsam@... Reply-To: WTOParentsOfBPs To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: I NEED IMPUT Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006 18:30:36 EST To Group My daughter, 7 1/2 months pregnant with heart defect, now has pneumonia and is quite ill with it. I am rather worried about her. She has worked herself into a state of having no resistance to germs with her working so hard and worrying about money it seems. I am very tempted to help her financially. I need your imput. Any of you who remember her history, would you please give me some advice. I hate to see her making herself sick and she IS trying so very hard to keep it all together and hubby is working. She had bronchitis 3 weeks ago and went to work with it which is probably why she has pneumonia now and hubby went to work sick (upper respiratory with 102 fever) for 3 days. I just don't want any help I give her to reinforce in her that it is OK to keep having babies and someone will always help her. I have had the boys with me here for the past 5 days so she could rest. She was sick all week end but didn't go to doctor until yesterday when she couldn't breathe. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Carol It would be nice if she were in a financial position to stay home till the babay is born, but there is no way she can. One of the reasons I am worried about her health is that she is going to be having this baby being all run down and with her being high risk to begin with, this is not a good thing to be. The heart defect puts a strain on lungs to begin with, although she has never had problems in the past, but she is getting older and her body has taken a physical beating with the pregnancy she went thru last year and now this one. If she were to stop working, she will definitely lose the house and it will be right at the same time she will be going thru labor, so she will put herself under more stress because I don't think she will handle losing the house well at all. She filed bankruptcy 6 yrs ago after the boys father maxed out all her credit cards and ran up phone bills. So, she will never be able to buy another house for at least 10 yrs when the bankruptcy and foreclosure fall off her credit report. Where will she find an apt for 4 kids except in some substandard neighborhood with 3 bedroom tenements. Which then means my grandsons will be going to school in the inner city somewhere. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Dear Jean, Panic City! It seems that, sick as they are, she and Will should be putting together a plan. They have you taking care of the kids, which is the biggest thing. Can you tell her that you're concerned, but she and Will are working so hard to get things together, and you don't want to interfere, but you'll be glad to take care of the kids for a while longer if it will help or take her to the doctor maybe. (Why can't they get themselves to doctors and take care of themselves? (This is recurring theme no. 9 at our house, too.) ) I agree with the others about the money, mortgage or no mortgage. Jean, bless your heart, I hope your daughter feels better soon!! Deborah --- cascorsam@... wrote: > To Group > > My daughter, 7 1/2 months pregnant with heart > defect, now has pneumonia > and is quite ill with it. I am rather worried about > her. She has worked > herself into a state of having no resistance to > germs with her working so hard and > worrying about money it seems. I am very tempted > to help her financially. > > I need your imput. Any of you who remember her > history, would you please > give me some advice. I hate to see her making > herself sick and she IS trying > so very hard to keep it all together and hubby is > working. She had bronchitis > 3 weeks ago and went to work with it which is > probably why she has pneumonia > now and hubby went to work sick (upper respiratory > with 102 fever) for 3 > days. I just don't want any help I give her to > reinforce in her that it is OK > to keep having babies and someone will always help > her. > > I have had the boys with me here for the past 5 days > so she could rest. She > was sick all week end but didn't go to doctor until > yesterday when she > couldn't breathe. > > Jean > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 I wouldn't give her cash. You can help out in other ways, like stocking the refrigerator, going and paying a month's worth of utilities, buying a couple of gas cards (for just gasoline) so that they can put gas in their cars, make part of a mortgage payment directly to the company or something like that. Go by and pay the daycare payment for the week, etc. I don't know how she feels about " surprises " but these might be things that she would like -- to come home to a refrigerator stocked with everyone's favorite things (good things -- milk, bread, veggies, etc., plus a couple of fun things), the gas cards wrapped up as a " get well " gift, etc, so it doesn't seem like a hand-out. Just my opinion. Kelley C. cascorsam@... wrote: To Group My daughter, 7 1/2 months pregnant with heart defect, now has pneumonia and is quite ill with it. I am rather worried about her. She has worked herself into a state of having no resistance to germs with her working so hard and worrying about money it seems. I am very tempted to help her financially. I need your imput. Any of you who remember her history, would you please give me some advice. I hate to see her making herself sick and she IS trying so very hard to keep it all together and hubby is working. She had bronchitis 3 weeks ago and went to work with it which is probably why she has pneumonia now and hubby went to work sick (upper respiratory with 102 fever) for 3 days. I just don't want any help I give her to reinforce in her that it is OK to keep having babies and someone will always help her. I have had the boys with me here for the past 5 days so she could rest. She was sick all week end but didn't go to doctor until yesterday when she couldn't breathe. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Jean, Sorry to hear is sick with pneumonia. I agree with the other members -- you are doing a lot for her. If you do give them money (which I might try to avoid), I would give it directly to the company,not them. Let them come up with a plan first. Will K. be home the rest of this pregnancy now? How does this affect her condition? Thinking of you, Carol -------------- Original message -------------- From: cascorsam@... > To Group > > My daughter, 7 1/2 months pregnant with heart defect, now has pneumonia > and is quite ill with it. I am rather worried about her. She has worked > herself into a state of having no resistance to germs with her working so hard > and > worrying about money it seems. I am very tempted to help her financially. > > I need your imput. Any of you who remember her history, would you please > give me some advice. I hate to see her making herself sick and she IS trying > so very hard to keep it all together and hubby is working. She had bronchitis > 3 weeks ago and went to work with it which is probably why she has pneumonia > now and hubby went to work sick (upper respiratory with 102 fever) for 3 > days. I just don't want any help I give her to reinforce in her that it is OK > to keep having babies and someone will always help her. > > I have had the boys with me here for the past 5 days so she could rest. She > was sick all week end but didn't go to doctor until yesterday when she > couldn't breathe. > > Jean > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is so sick. What a good work ethic she has. You are stuck in a precarious situation. What is your " gut " telling you to do? I always find that is the best thing to follow. We could give you suggestions but deep down inside you know what you want/need to do. My only input is that your daughter AND her husband are trying.... I always say that good should be reinforced. While I am not your daughter and have never emotionally abused my mom and dad, I know that I am ever so grateful for my father's financial help in the absence of support from my ex. Your daughter is seeing the world in such a different light now and has seemed grateful for anything that you done for her in the past several months. Don't you think she would be grateful for your love and support when things are down? You wouldn't be bailing her out, you would be supporting. Best of luck. cascorsam@... wrote: To Group My daughter, 7 1/2 months pregnant with heart defect, now has pneumonia and is quite ill with it. I am rather worried about her. She has worked herself into a state of having no resistance to germs with her working so hard and worrying about money it seems. I am very tempted to help her financially. I need your imput. Any of you who remember her history, would you please give me some advice. I hate to see her making herself sick and she IS trying so very hard to keep it all together and hubby is working. She had bronchitis 3 weeks ago and went to work with it which is probably why she has pneumonia now and hubby went to work sick (upper respiratory with 102 fever) for 3 days. I just don't want any help I give her to reinforce in her that it is OK to keep having babies and someone will always help her. I have had the boys with me here for the past 5 days so she could rest. She was sick all week end but didn't go to doctor until yesterday when she couldn't breathe. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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