Guest guest Posted November 8, 2005 Report Share Posted November 8, 2005 Jean - you phrased that in a MOST interesting way. Right now I'm having something of a meltdown...and typically, the 40 yr old BP daughter is acting COLD AS ICE. My husband is facing yet another flareup of his (colon) cancer...which has now moved into the lung. Today he sees yet another Dr. Yet she REFUSES to communicate with me... even tho I phoned her last night (I know - bad move! - couldn't help myself!!!). She professes GREAT concern over him (TO him)...and you would think with me on the front lines here we could have a conversation - at least about our (allegedly) MUTUAL concern over him. I've tried to point out maybe we can have OUR peace prevail at this point....but no communication has come from her - either via Email or (heaven forbid!) phone. I am normally a very happy outgoing person...but I feel myself faltering.........- (non) In a message dated 11/7/2005 7:32:05 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, cascorsam@... writes: How they can be academicaly very bright and emotionally retarded, I will never understand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2005 Report Share Posted November 8, 2005 I am very sorry to hear that your husband is having to go thru this and you along with him. I am thinking that perhaps your daughter is not simply cold, but emotionally she may not know how or just be incapable of handling her Dad being so ill. And avoidance may be the only way she can deal with it right now. I know when my Mom was in the hospital dying from the chemo she was given for her leukemia at only 57, I had a really hard time going to the hospital to see her, feeling helpless and so miserable over seeing her fading away. The drug they gave her turned her into a vegetable (her brain developed a virus that literally turned the brain to mush) for the last 5 months of her life. Being emotionally immature as most of them are, seeing her Dad vulnerable might be more than she can handle. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 8, 2005 Report Share Posted November 8, 2005 , I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having. You have enough to deal with in your husband, let alone your daughter. It might sound tough, but for me, I would concentrate my efforts and emotions on him. I think I would stop my concern of her non-concern. He needs you and your support and needs you to be strong. I think with less communication to her from you in regards to him, she will come around on her own, looking to support him. I think when our kids are requested of us that they should be doing something, they do less of it. I remember the more I told my daughter I didn't like the kids she was hanging with, the more she did it. When I stopped showing concern for her picks in friends, she stopped hanging with the bad ones. I can't justify their thinking, but this seems to work for me. I wish you luck and my thoughts are with you and your husband. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.