Doubts, Second Thoughts, and Second Guesses

December 31, 2006

I'm just a week and a day away from my surgery and I keep thinking

about the permanency and severity of what I'm about to undertake. I

keep thinking about the lifestyle changes and yes, about the foods

I've loved that I may never be able to enjoy again. I've never been a

big eater and have often skipped breakfast and lunch several times a

week, opting for several cups of coffee instead. I have 3 young

children who love it when I cook. When my ex husband and I adopted

our 3 girls we were told by their pediatrician not to go low fat

anything with them because of difficulties getting them to put on

weight and because of past malnutrition issues. So I had even more

reason to cook so many of the foods I loved for dinner. Breakfast and

lunch were easy since they love cereal and simple sandwiches but at

dinnertime out come the oven mitts lol. One of our favorite dinners

is breakfast lol...french toast smothered in butter and powdered

sugar, fried potatoes with eggs and sausage, not to mention biscuits

and gravy. Do I really want to give up those things? I know that I

can but it's not only my lifestyle that I will have to change but my

childrens too. I will no longer be able to cook all those wonderful

foods for them knowing that I can't eat them. It would just be too

easy to cheat so I will have to cook healthier for all of us. That's

ok for the girls now since they have a few years under their belts and

their metabolism is pretty much caught up.

Anyway, the whole point and question to all of you, besides just

listen to me ramble on, is...did any of you start to doubt your

decision and question whether or not this was the right thing for you?

If so how did you keep yourself from screaming and running away from

the surgery? I need this surgery, not because I'm too obese yet, but

because I put on more and more weight every year and already the

co-morbidities are there and I want to do something now before things

get worse. Also, I know many of you are going to suggest lab band due

to the lesser severity but I don't qualify for that due to a pretty

substantial hiatul hernia.

kris

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