Guest guest Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 Perhaps this whole thing has just made me hard hearted, but if my daughter was a crack head and wrote me out of her life yet I had permanent custody of my grandsons, I wouldn't miss my daughter for an instant. I would look upon it that my daughter WAS indeed dead and this stranger had taken over her body-----a stranger I would want nothing to do with. You have your precious grandson----rejoice in that. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 In a message dated 2/15/2006 3:12:10 PM Eastern Standard Time, njbyrd@... writes: Her birthday is tomorrow and I always feel worse on that day because I can't help remembering my sweet little baby girl. My thoughts are with you at this time, . I feel your grief and sorrow. Hugs, DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Jean, Maybe I didn't express myself very well. As far as I am concerned my daughter is dead and I am very grateful that my grandson is with me - I know he is well cared for. I am glad she stays away because none of us needs the pain and chaos she causes. I didn't say she was a crack head - she was living in a known crack house. I know she has used drugs but not steady use. She was on probation for 3 years and subject to random drug tests and always passed those tests. This was during the time we were involved with the custody issue. She lives in another state, my fil used to live near her and he had some contact with her. She now has 2 possibly 3 more kids. She didn't cause us any trouble until she was alsmost 19. She was always at the top of her class in school, played in the band, belonged to 4-H and FHA. When she left home she expected us to keep supporting her and when we finally said no we didn't hear from her for about a year and when we did she was pg with our grandson and we got sucked in again until we 'stole' him away frrom her. Her biggest problem seems to be the men she gets involved with - each one is worse than the last. She allows them to use her, abuse her and live off her. I miss the person she was when she was younger before the BPD started to take her over. I grieve for the daughter that had so much going for her and threw it all away. She had so many dreams of what she wanted to be when she grew up. I also grieve for the grandchildren I will never know. I also grieve for my grandson that I am raising because he feels the pain of knowing he has a mother and father out there somewhere who don't want him. And no we don't tell him that, but I won't lie to him when he asks questions about his mother. Her birthday is tomorrow and I always feel worse on that day because I can't help remembering my sweet little baby girl. Perhaps this whole thing has just made me hard hearted, but if my daughter was a crack head and wrote me out of her life yet I had permanent custody of my grandsons, I wouldn't miss my daughter for an instant. I would look upon it that my daughter WAS indeed dead and this stranger had taken over her body-----a stranger I would want nothing to do with. You have your precious grandson----rejoice in that. Jean --------------------------------- Yahoo! Mail Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Your daughter pre-BPD sounds very similar to mine. Always a straight A student, extremely well behaved, quiet yet seemed confident and seemed to be a leader as a child. Yet the older she got, the more reserved she became and the more friendless. She was also beautiful---was the 1st runner up in the Miss Teen Pageant for our state when she was 16. Lots of potential all gone to hell. And yes, her downfall too is the choice of loser guys. If this one manages to keep this job and does straighten himself out, I will be in shock if she stays with him. But I am hoping for the best. He seems to want a better life for himself and is devoted to the baby who is a yr old this month and he is excited about the fact that the baby to be is a boy. I know the pain and sense of loss you feel. I have felt it for about 8 years now. In the beginning the problems were just her nasty behavior toward me (while in college) but then later when she started throwing her life away, that was just too much to endure. I hope she makes it this time and can put a lot of the misery behind her. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 How old is your daughter? Do you have any knowledge of what shape your other grandchildren are in? Do you think she is a responsible mother or does she put all these losers ahead of the kids? Does she work, go to school or anything that you feel is a positive for bettering herself in any way? How long did you say you have not had contact with her? Perhaps as she gets older or needier she will wake up. I honestly know what you are going thru and I wish I could make it better for you. I know the pain is so sharp that it is like a knife going thru your heart on a constant basis. My prayers are with you. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 Thank you, it is so good to be able to share with people who really understand. > > In a message dated 2/15/2006 3:12:10 PM Eastern Standard Time, > njbyrd@... writes: > Her birthday is tomorrow and I always feel worse on that day because I can't > help remembering my sweet little baby girl. > > > My thoughts are with you at this time, . I feel your grief and sorrow. > > Hugs, > DebbieL > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 Jean, My daughter just turned 39. Since my fil moved 3 years ago(he used to have some contact with her) I have no idea how the other kids are doing. The man she is married to now is not the father of the grand we are raising. But when she was with that man she always put his wants first. The last I knew she was working pt at night in a bar - also getting help from social services for the kids. It's been 7 years since we have seen or heard from her. Whenever the phone rings, I always wonder - could it be her calling? But i really doubt she will contact us. Thank you for your prayers- it really helps to know that there are people who really understand. > > > > How old is your daughter? Do you have any knowledge of what shape your > other grandchildren are in? Do you think she is a responsible mother or does she > put all these losers ahead of the kids? Does she work, go to school or > anything that you feel is a positive for bettering herself in any way? How long > did you say you have not had contact with her? > > Perhaps as she gets older or needier she will wake up. I honestly know what > you are going thru and I wish I could make it better for you. I know the > pain is so sharp that it is like a knife going thru your heart on a constant > basis. > > My prayers are with you. > > Jean > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 Jean, How old is your daughter? I hope this man does straighten himself out and is a good father to his kids. Maybe if he does she can also straighten herself out. I am sorry for the pain you are feeling - sending prayers for you and all parents going through this misery. > > > > Your daughter pre-BPD sounds very similar to mine. Always a straight A > student, extremely well behaved, quiet yet seemed confident and seemed to be a > leader as a child. Yet the older she got, the more reserved she became and the > more friendless. She was also beautiful---was the 1st runner up in the Miss > Teen Pageant for our state when she was 16. Lots of potential all gone to > hell. > > And yes, her downfall too is the choice of loser guys. If this one manages > to keep this job and does straighten himself out, I will be in shock if she > stays with him. But I am hoping for the best. He seems to want a better life > for himself and is devoted to the baby who is a yr old this month and he is > excited about the fact that the baby to be is a boy. > > I know the pain and sense of loss you feel. I have felt it for about 8 > years now. In the beginning the problems were just her nasty behavior toward me > (while in college) but then later when she started throwing her life away, > that was just too much to endure. > > I hope she makes it this time and can put a lot of the misery behind her. > > Jean > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2006 Report Share Posted February 17, 2006 {{{{{{{{ }}}}}}} I don't know what to say except to give you a heartfelt hug at this time. Blondie In a message dated 2/17/2006 4:43:31 P.M. Central Standard Time, njbyrd@... writes: The last I knew she was working pt at night in a bar - also getting help from social services for the kids. It's been 7 years since we have seen or heard from her. Whenever the phone rings, I always wonder - could it be her calling? But i really doubt she will contact us. Thank you for your prayers- it really helps to know that there are people who really understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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