Guest guest Posted October 5, 2005 Report Share Posted October 5, 2005 Hi, I think the whole idea of being controlled feeds into their neediness and lack of slef esteem but then when the other gets to close they become terrified and try to take back control by yelling, hitting, throwing things etc. I know this describes mine, she meets a nice guy, lets him in and then pushes away. and then she picks a loser almost as if to say that is all I am worhty of. The lack of esteem comes from the BPD not from us, we did our best, protected them, rescued, etc but from an early age they couldn't elt go. The other day grand told ehr Mom she didn't want to live with ehr any more, she ahted her Mom, and she wanted to stay with this other family. Typical 4 yr old stuff....but dgter was devastated and confused, hurt and I think humiliated. I told her it was normal and I got yelled at, " I don't understand....etc, etc, etc " Guess what I do, been there, done that but of course she can't ehar that in her vicitm role. So, hang in there and rmember NO RESCUING. Elaine May there be peace on earth and may it begin with me and with each one of us Elaine --------------------------------- Find your next car at Yahoo! Canada Autos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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