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accepting controls

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Hi, I think the whole idea of being controlled feeds into their neediness and

lack of slef esteem but then when the other gets to close they become terrified

and try to take back control by yelling, hitting, throwing things etc. I know

this describes mine, she meets a nice guy, lets him in and then pushes away. and

then she picks a loser almost as if to say that is all I am worhty of.

The lack of esteem comes from the BPD not from us, we did our best, protected

them, rescued, etc but from an early age they couldn't elt go.

The other day grand told ehr Mom she didn't want to live with ehr any more, she

ahted her Mom, and she wanted to stay with this other family. Typical 4 yr old

stuff....but dgter was devastated and confused, hurt and I think humiliated. I

told her it was normal and I got yelled at, " I don't understand....etc, etc,

etc "

Guess what I do, been there, done that but of course she can't ehar that in her

vicitm role.

So, hang in there and rmember NO RESCUING.

Elaine

May there be peace on earth and may it begin with me and with each one of us

Elaine

---------------------------------

Find your next car at Yahoo! Canada Autos

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