Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 In a message dated 1/17/2006 11:50:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, mukindu@... writes: Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time Well, as long as he knows he can stay in your apartment and not have to do anything for it, he won't have the ambition to get himself a job. He will remain dependent on you, at least on your apartment. Knowing he has a place to live and not have to work for it will be no encouragement for him to earn his stay. And, being that you are not physically there all the time, he has no pressure to become an independent, responsible adult. You cannot tell him from afar that he needs help, let alone if you were telling him face to face. Your son has to come to this conclusion on his own for it to work. I wish there was more you could do for him to realize he needs help. Does he suffer from depression do you know? DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Mukindu, This sounds good to me. Forget about the word " codependency. " What does it mean anyway? That you give up on a person because it is a tough situation? You can live with him and draw boundaries. It is our changing in the face of their destructive behaviors that FORCES them to change. That is not codependency. PJ Thanks Debbie Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time. I have a nomadic international life that takes me to different countries. I am thinking of returning to my apartment where he lives to stay some months and see if I can encourage him to seek help. I feel I must do this regardless of issues of co-dependency, etc. sincerely, Mukindu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 PJ, I know that we worked really hard to fix my daughter. We did everything we could, and then some, and we didn't get the results that we would have liked for her. However, we did accomplish this, which was not our goal: 1) we can look ourselves in the mirror and feel good in the sense that we did what we could 2) the counseling that was required of us as part of this helped us see that we were not the problem, 3) we have reclaimed our lives 4) we have clear boundaries about this, and my husband and I are on the same page - no longer manipulated as good guy/bad guy. Was it worth the effort? I have to say yes, because we certainly would not have made it the way things were. She would be a wreck, and so would our family and we ourselves would be a disaster if we had just let things follow their course. We couldn't do that. I hope this helps! I also think that eventually some of the things she heard during treatment that was forced upon her may come back and be helpful to her. At least she knows, at some level, that there is help out there for folks like her. Yes, try to do what is within your reach for your son! Helen _____ From: WTOParentsOfBPs [mailto:WTOParentsOfBPs ] On Behalf Of PJ Sent: Tuesday, January 17, 2006 12:56 PM To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: RE: Re: Welcome Mukindu How do we know she can't tell him anything? This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone tells me I can't fix my 30 year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and me? (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and I value you and what you wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something we can say or do AND WE ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) PJ In a message dated 1/17/2006 11:50:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, mukindu@... writes: Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time Well, as long as he knows he can stay in your apartment and not have to do anything for it, he won't have the ambition to get himself a job. He will remain dependent on you, at least on your apartment. Knowing he has a place to live and not have to work for it will be no encouragement for him to earn his stay. And, being that you are not physically there all the time, he has no pressure to become an independent, responsible adult. You cannot tell him from afar that he needs help, let alone if you were telling him face to face. Your son has to come to this conclusion on his own for it to work. I wish there was more you could do for him to realize he needs help. Does he suffer from depression do you know? DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 How do we know she can't tell him anything? This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone tells me I can't fix my 30 year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and me? (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and I value you and what you wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something we can say or do AND WE ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) PJ In a message dated 1/17/2006 11:50:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, mukindu@... writes: Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time Well, as long as he knows he can stay in your apartment and not have to do anything for it, he won't have the ambition to get himself a job. He will remain dependent on you, at least on your apartment. Knowing he has a place to live and not have to work for it will be no encouragement for him to earn his stay. And, being that you are not physically there all the time, he has no pressure to become an independent, responsible adult. You cannot tell him from afar that he needs help, let alone if you were telling him face to face. Your son has to come to this conclusion on his own for it to work. I wish there was more you could do for him to realize he needs help. Does he suffer from depression do you know? DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 <... How do we know she can't tell him anything? ....> PJ, I think the easiest way to tell whether someone will listen....is if we see them value something we say. My thought on Debbie L's idea...if you want a puppy to stop barking and listen...it is not wise to give him a cookie when he barks and does not listen....and it is not wise to give him cookies regardless of his behavior. Debbie L learned to wait for her " puppy " to listen...then tried to give her a " cookie " each time the puppy's behavior was good...and after awhile the " puppy " started maturing. Debbie L knows because she tried things the other way and it didn't work...same for me...and IMO the same may happen for Jean and her BP and some others here. The OPPORTUNITY is wasted if you ignore that in a way deep down we are all " puppies " looking for " cookies. " --- PJ pj7@...> wrote: > How do we know she can't tell him anything? > > This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone > tells me I can't fix my 30 > year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF > I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS > ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and > me? > > (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and > I value you and what you > wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something > we can say or do AND WE > ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) > > PJ __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 PJ-- You have tried. You have communicated to your son your unconditional love for him, your willingness to address issues with him, etc. He has not responded. I know it is painful to believe that your child chooses not to have a relationship with you but that does appear to be the situation right now. You cannot MAKE him come to you. Even if it's true that she's " brainwashed " him or he's just doing what she wants, it's still HIS choice. Unlike someone in a cult, he does have the capability to recognize when to get out, if and when the time comes for him. Right now, even when she splits him black, he still hangs on to the hope of the times when he's been split white and he can do no wrong and he's her knight in shining army. When she's so down on him, he's hopeful that he's the one that can save her, make it right, take the troubles away and make it all good again. It may take awhile for him to recognize the time to get out but it WILL come. And believe me, when the time comes, all the notes and letters and communications from YOU will held somewhere dear inside of him and you will be the person he turns to. YOU HAVE TRIED. Kelley C. PJ pj7@...> wrote: How do we know she can't tell him anything? This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone tells me I can't fix my 30 year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and me? (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and I value you and what you wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something we can say or do AND WE ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) PJ In a message dated 1/17/2006 11:50:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, mukindu@... writes: Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time Well, as long as he knows he can stay in your apartment and not have to do anything for it, he won't have the ambition to get himself a job. He will remain dependent on you, at least on your apartment. Knowing he has a place to live and not have to work for it will be no encouragement for him to earn his stay. And, being that you are not physically there all the time, he has no pressure to become an independent, responsible adult. You cannot tell him from afar that he needs help, let alone if you were telling him face to face. Your son has to come to this conclusion on his own for it to work. I wish there was more you could do for him to realize he needs help. Does he suffer from depression do you know? DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I hear what you are saying, and you may well be right. This is what the counselor says also. The only point on which I would disagree is the comparision with the cult. I think this is EXACTLY like a cult. I think when she splits him black he may not survive, because she has eaten him alive. He does not exist as he was - at least not now. He is not the son I raised. I have been damaged myself by someone who " messed with my head. " When you come out of that it is hellish, partly because you are so ashamed of what you allowed the person to do with your values and everything you respected about yourself. I fear for him. But also there is so much I would like to share with him, only I am afraid. PJ PJ-- You have tried. You have communicated to your son your unconditional love for him, your willingness to address issues with him, etc. He has not responded. I know it is painful to believe that your child chooses not to have a relationship with you but that does appear to be the situation right now. You cannot MAKE him come to you. Even if it's true that she's " brainwashed " him or he's just doing what she wants, it's still HIS choice. Unlike someone in a cult, he does have the capability to recognize when to get out, if and when the time comes for him. Right now, even when she splits him black, he still hangs on to the hope of the times when he's been split white and he can do no wrong and he's her knight in shining army. When she's so down on him, he's hopeful that he's the one that can save her, make it right, take the troubles away and make it all good again. It may take awhile for him to recognize the time to get out but it WILL come. And believe me, when the time comes, all the notes and letters and communications from YOU will held somewhere dear inside of him and you will be the person he turns to. YOU HAVE TRIED. Kelley C. PJ pj7@...> wrote: How do we know she can't tell him anything? This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone tells me I can't fix my 30 year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and me? (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and I value you and what you wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something we can say or do AND WE ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) PJ In a message dated 1/17/2006 11:50:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, mukindu@... writes: Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time Well, as long as he knows he can stay in your apartment and not have to do anything for it, he won't have the ambition to get himself a job. He will remain dependent on you, at least on your apartment. Knowing he has a place to live and not have to work for it will be no encouragement for him to earn his stay. And, being that you are not physically there all the time, he has no pressure to become an independent, responsible adult. You cannot tell him from afar that he needs help, let alone if you were telling him face to face. Your son has to come to this conclusion on his own for it to work. I wish there was more you could do for him to realize he needs help. Does he suffer from depression do you know? DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Hi , Very interesting... My son and I used to have great discussions and he listened, we shared, we both changed our opinions etc. Now we are writing him, have written him what amounts to a " cookie. " He is not responding. He is not stupid. I think he KNOWS the letter we sent is a cookie bribe. It ain't gonna work. Am I crazy? I can't help it. I keep thinking a nice rational letter addressing his issues with us MIGHT be useful. For instance, he made these crappy comments about my husband liking the gay rodeo and having an abnormal interest in the other brother's girlfriend. THIS IS INSANE. What if I wrote him and spoke up for how wonderful my husband is, what a great father he has always been, how heartbroken he is over what has happened???? Hey, I hear what everyone is saying, but I still find myself wondering if we are handling this backwards. I don't know anyone who would have let their 30 year old son write this kind of crap about their family without telling him off. PJ <... How do we know she can't tell him anything? ...> PJ, I think the easiest way to tell whether someone will listen....is if we see them value something we say. My thought on Debbie L's idea...if you want a puppy to stop barking and listen...it is not wise to give him a cookie when he barks and does not listen....and it is not wise to give him cookies regardless of his behavior. Debbie L learned to wait for her " puppy " to listen...then tried to give her a " cookie " each time the puppy's behavior was good...and after awhile the " puppy " started maturing. Debbie L knows because she tried things the other way and it didn't work...same for me...and IMO the same may happen for Jean and her BP and some others here. The OPPORTUNITY is wasted if you ignore that in a way deep down we are all " puppies " looking for " cookies. " --- PJ pj7@...> wrote: > How do we know she can't tell him anything? > > This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone > tells me I can't fix my 30 > year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF > I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS > ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and > me? > > (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and > I value you and what you > wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something > we can say or do AND WE > ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) > > PJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 That's why you continue to send your notes -- neutral subjects but keeping the lines of communication open. That way he knows that you're still there. He WILL take on her BP tendencies at some point; it's practically unavoidable. At the very least, there will be (or are) enabling issues already there. No doubt it will be hard for him to break off. And he may be much worse for the wear b/c what you say is true and you've experienced it yourself -- but you had to come out it yourself. Once you were out, then with the love and support of your family, you recovered. He has to come out it himself, and then with the love and support of his family, he too will recover. Keep the faith and HOLD ON! Kelley C. PJ pj7@...> wrote: I hear what you are saying, and you may well be right. This is what the counselor says also. The only point on which I would disagree is the comparision with the cult. I think this is EXACTLY like a cult. I think when she splits him black he may not survive, because she has eaten him alive. He does not exist as he was - at least not now. He is not the son I raised. I have been damaged myself by someone who " messed with my head. " When you come out of that it is hellish, partly because you are so ashamed of what you allowed the person to do with your values and everything you respected about yourself. I fear for him. But also there is so much I would like to share with him, only I am afraid. PJ PJ-- You have tried. You have communicated to your son your unconditional love for him, your willingness to address issues with him, etc. He has not responded. I know it is painful to believe that your child chooses not to have a relationship with you but that does appear to be the situation right now. You cannot MAKE him come to you. Even if it's true that she's " brainwashed " him or he's just doing what she wants, it's still HIS choice. Unlike someone in a cult, he does have the capability to recognize when to get out, if and when the time comes for him. Right now, even when she splits him black, he still hangs on to the hope of the times when he's been split white and he can do no wrong and he's her knight in shining army. When she's so down on him, he's hopeful that he's the one that can save her, make it right, take the troubles away and make it all good again. It may take awhile for him to recognize the time to get out but it WILL come. And believe me, when the time comes, all the notes and letters and communications from YOU will held somewhere dear inside of him and you will be the person he turns to. YOU HAVE TRIED. Kelley C. PJ pj7@...> wrote: How do we know she can't tell him anything? This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone tells me I can't fix my 30 year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and me? (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and I value you and what you wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something we can say or do AND WE ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) PJ In a message dated 1/17/2006 11:50:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, mukindu@... writes: Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time Well, as long as he knows he can stay in your apartment and not have to do anything for it, he won't have the ambition to get himself a job. He will remain dependent on you, at least on your apartment. Knowing he has a place to live and not have to work for it will be no encouragement for him to earn his stay. And, being that you are not physically there all the time, he has no pressure to become an independent, responsible adult. You cannot tell him from afar that he needs help, let alone if you were telling him face to face. Your son has to come to this conclusion on his own for it to work. I wish there was more you could do for him to realize he needs help. Does he suffer from depression do you know? DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I apologize for writing so much just now. It does mean a lot that you guys are writing me back. I did not escape from the svengali who messed me up by myself. I never would have escaped if it were not for several people who very bluntly told me I was in danger, that he was a bad guy, that I was nuts, that I was doing the wrong thing etc. These people saved my life and got me out much sooner than I might have without them. Perhaps, again, this is why I feel our letting our son just drift out there without warning him is a very dangerous thing to do. It is interesting that when I was so messed up by the predatory psychiatrist the son who has now disowned us was very loving and supportive - THIS DID NOTHING TO SAVE MY LIFE. The other son told me I was crazy, doing the wrong thing, that he would do anything he could to stop me. He even called the psychiatrist and talked to him for over and hour telling him he was evil. I didn't like what he was telling me at the time, but it wasn't but a couple more months that I realized he saved my life, my sanity and my marriage. He was my true friend. The nice, kind son was not helpful, not really, even though his attitude felt kind and loving. In reality it would have killed me. I'm not saying I'm going to write a confrontational letter right now - just that I think this will be the thing to do, perhaps sooner rather than later. PJ That's why you continue to send your notes -- neutral subjects but keeping the lines of communication open. That way he knows that you're still there. He WILL take on her BP tendencies at some point; it's practically unavoidable. At the very least, there will be (or are) enabling issues already there. No doubt it will be hard for him to break off. And he may be much worse for the wear b/c what you say is true and you've experienced it yourself -- but you had to come out it yourself. Once you were out, then with the love and support of your family, you recovered. He has to come out it himself, and then with the love and support of his family, he too will recover. Keep the faith and HOLD ON! Kelley C. PJ pj7@...> wrote: I hear what you are saying, and you may well be right. This is what the counselor says also. The only point on which I would disagree is the comparision with the cult. I think this is EXACTLY like a cult. I think when she splits him black he may not survive, because she has eaten him alive. He does not exist as he was - at least not now. He is not the son I raised. I have been damaged myself by someone who " messed with my head. " When you come out of that it is hellish, partly because you are so ashamed of what you allowed the person to do with your values and everything you respected about yourself. I fear for him. But also there is so much I would like to share with him, only I am afraid. PJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 HI Mukindu, I may have missed this in a previous post, but what makes you believe your son is borderline? Does he have a girlfriend? Did he graduate from high school - or give you trouble as a teen? I'd like to chat a bit with you about him, as I too have a son (24) who is bp. Maybe I can suggest some things that have helped our family. Joan ----Original Message Follows---- Reply-To: WTOParentsOfBPs To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: Welcome Mukindu Date: Tue, 17 Jan 2006 16:50:02 -0000 Thanks Debbie Your advice is excellent but hard to follow. My son is not working, he lives in my apartment but I am not there most of the time. I have a nomadic international life that takes me to different countries. I am thinking of returning to my apartment where he lives to stay some months and see if I can encourage him to seek help. I feel I must do this regardless of issues of co-dependency, etc. sincerely, Mukindu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 What do you want to accomplish by telling him how you feel about the statements that he has made and by his actions toward you since he has moved away and cut off contact? Do you want to get that off your chest and lift that burden off you? Do you want him to be clear on how YOU feel for a change since he made no bones about how HE felt? Do you think that that type of a statement to him might be the catalyst that open his eyes and make him realize what he has lost in not having a relationship with you? Is it because you've tried " nice " things and that doesn't seem to work so now maybe this is the route to take? I'm not asking these questions b/c I want an answer. I'm asking these questions for you and your husband to look within yourselves as to what your goal truly is in " giving it to him straight " b/c you've been talking about it in your last few posts and it seems to be what you really want to do. But WHY? Kelley C. PJ pj7@...> wrote: Hi , Very interesting... My son and I used to have great discussions and he listened, we shared, we both changed our opinions etc. Now we are writing him, have written him what amounts to a " cookie. " He is not responding. He is not stupid. I think he KNOWS the letter we sent is a cookie bribe. It ain't gonna work. Am I crazy? I can't help it. I keep thinking a nice rational letter addressing his issues with us MIGHT be useful. For instance, he made these crappy comments about my husband liking the gay rodeo and having an abnormal interest in the other brother's girlfriend. THIS IS INSANE. What if I wrote him and spoke up for how wonderful my husband is, what a great father he has always been, how heartbroken he is over what has happened???? Hey, I hear what everyone is saying, but I still find myself wondering if we are handling this backwards. I don't know anyone who would have let their 30 year old son write this kind of crap about their family without telling him off. PJ <... How do we know she can't tell him anything? ...> PJ, I think the easiest way to tell whether someone will listen....is if we see them value something we say. My thought on Debbie L's idea...if you want a puppy to stop barking and listen...it is not wise to give him a cookie when he barks and does not listen....and it is not wise to give him cookies regardless of his behavior. Debbie L learned to wait for her " puppy " to listen...then tried to give her a " cookie " each time the puppy's behavior was good...and after awhile the " puppy " started maturing. Debbie L knows because she tried things the other way and it didn't work...same for me...and IMO the same may happen for Jean and her BP and some others here. The OPPORTUNITY is wasted if you ignore that in a way deep down we are all " puppies " looking for " cookies. " --- PJ pj7@...> wrote: > How do we know she can't tell him anything? > > This is the issue that I struggle with. Everyone > tells me I can't fix my 30 > year old son. SO I HAVEN'T EVER EVEN TRIED. WHAT IF > I AM WRONG? WHAT IF THIS > ADVICE YOU ALL GIVE HERE IS WRONG for mukindu and > me? > > (Please excuse, Debbie, I am not attacking you, and > I value you and what you > wrote. I just wonder if sometimes there is something > we can say or do AND WE > ARE MISSING THE OPPORTUNITY.) > > PJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 PJ, The confrontational letter would be for you, not your son. It's the type of letter you write for you and never mail. Carol -------------- Original message -------------- > I apologize for writing so much just now. It does mean a lot that you guys > are writing me back. > > I did not escape from the svengali who messed me up by myself. I never would > have escaped if it were not for several people who very bluntly told me I > was in danger, that he was a bad guy, that I was nuts, that I was doing the > wrong thing etc. These people saved my life and got me out much sooner than > I might have without them. Perhaps, again, this is why I feel our letting > our son just drift out there without warning him is a very dangerous thing > to do. > > It is interesting that when I was so messed up by the predatory psychiatrist > the son who has now disowned us was very loving and supportive - THIS DID > NOTHING TO SAVE MY LIFE. The other son told me I was crazy, doing the wrong > thing, that he would do anything he could to stop me. He even called the > psychiatrist and talked to him for over and hour telling him he was evil. I > didn't like what he was telling me at the time, but it wasn't but a couple > more months that I realized he saved my life, my sanity and my marriage. He > was my true friend. The nice, kind son was not helpful, not really, even > though his attitude felt kind and loving. In reality it would have killed > me. > > I'm not saying I'm going to write a confrontational letter right now - just > that I think this will be the thing to do, perhaps sooner rather than later. > > PJ > > > That's why you continue to send your notes -- neutral subjects but keeping > the lines of communication open. That way he knows that you're still there. > He WILL take on her BP tendencies at some point; it's practically > unavoidable. At the very least, there will be (or are) enabling issues > already there. No doubt it will be hard for him to break off. And he may > be much worse for the wear b/c what you say is true and you've experienced > it yourself -- but you had to come out it yourself. Once you were out, then > with the love and support of your family, you recovered. He has to come out > it himself, and then with the love and support of his family, he too will > recover. > > Keep the faith and HOLD ON! > > Kelley C. > > PJ wrote: > I hear what you are saying, and you may well be right. This is what the > counselor says also. > > The only point on which I would disagree is the comparision with the cult. > I > think this is EXACTLY like a cult. I think when she splits him black he > may > not survive, because she has eaten him alive. He does not exist as he > was - > at least not now. He is not the son I raised. I have been damaged myself > by > someone who " messed with my head. " When you come out of that it is > hellish, > partly because you are so ashamed of what you allowed the person to do > with > your values and everything you respected about yourself. I fear for him. > > But also there is so much I would like to share with him, only I am > afraid. > > PJ > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.