Doing things for yourself - was Re: YEAH!!! Shauna is back!!!!

[Guest guest]

, boy can I relate to you... I used to be the same way but not

anymore! At some point you have to be the priority and stop

sacrificing yourself for everybody else. I know losing weight for

me has helped a great deal with confidence, and I am able to say no

to others. You don't have to be mean about it; You just have to say

no. Work on your confidence NOW before the weight loss, so it will

be easier with time. , you deserve respect and the ability to

pick a crappy movie and not feel responsible about it. Take care -

lisa

> > > >

> > > > Welcome home Shauna. It is so good to see your name online.

> > > >

> > > > We all have busy lives and we owe it to ourselves to place

our

> > needs

> > > > first, If we can't take care of ourselves we can't be there

for

> > anyone

> > > > else. You have been and continue to be a terrific Moderator.

We

> > know

> > > > you have a job, school, family and personal life. We have

missed

> > you

> > > > but also know your plate is very full these days.

> > > >

> > > > Shauna, I don't have any words of wisdom for you. I too

tried

> > to " do it

> > > > all " and my house of cards came tumbling down. I have

accepted my

> > > > limitations and do the best I can. I maintain a household

in two

> > > > cities as well as the myriad of stressors in my family and

> > personal and

> > > > professional lives. I have medical issues and good days and

bad

> > days

> > > > that accompany those maladies.

> > > >

> > > > It was very hard, but I had to stop being the " caregiver. " I

also

> > ended

> > > > unhealthy relationships with people who were takers and

never

> > gave to

> > > > me when I needed their time and attention. Friendships

should be

> > a two

> > > > way street. People who are takers are " Draino " friends. I

don't

> > have

> > > > the time or energy to fix other peoples lives. I have seen

too

> > many

> > > > people in our WLS community have surgery to " fix " their

broken

> > lives

> > > > without wanting to do the work that comes with having a

healthy

> > life in

> > > > the physical and emotional sense. I am glad to see you are

> > tending to

> > > > your needs and creating a foundation for a more successful

> > future. You

> > > > are blessed!

> > > >

> > > > An important factor in finding some semblance of peace in my

life

> > was

> > > > setting BOUNDARIES. When I say NO, I mean NO!!! I don't

answer

> > email,

> > > > phone calls or faxes after the close of normal business

hours.

> > When so

> > > > called friends call me for legal advice, I remind them that

I

> > don't

> > > > call them for FREE professional services unless they want to

> > trade or

> > > > barter. One hour of my legal help for a free

> > > > haircut/color/highlights....you get the point. Time is money

and

> > my

> > > > time is limited.

> > > >

> > > > As you can see, I am seldom online these days. My personal

> > priorities

> > > > come first. Don't worry about the boards. You take care of

you

> > first.

> > > > That's what post op life is about. Don't worry about

catching up.

> > Just

> > > > jump in when and if you have the spare time.

> > > >

> > > > My best to you always.

> > > >

> > > > Robyn

> > > >

> > >

> >

>