Guest guest Posted March 31, 2006 Report Share Posted March 31, 2006 Blondie, yes it is sad and this guy was almost 30 when grandson was born. My grandson is 10 now and has lived with us since he was 18 months - no contact from either parent for over 7 yrs. Which is better actually - we can live without their drama. TxCoastGal@... wrote: Some of these young folks have no gratitude whatsoever do they? How sad that we have to think of our grandchildren's father as such a loser. I know , I had one of those 'losers' as my grandchildren's father too. He was my daughter's 2nd husband. He committed suicide in 2003. At least, through death, he is supporting his family through Social Security. Well... the system is really supporting them, as it has always done. Very sad. Blessings to you for taking that grandson in! How old is he? I have 4 total. Eldest is from 1st son in law. Then there are three more by the 'loser'. Blondie In a message dated 3/31/2006 10:25:42 A.M. Central Standard Time, njbyrd@... writes: My daughter did this too - much drama and tears about her needy boyfriend. To listen to her the whole world not just his family was against him. We felt sorry for him and spent much time and lots of $$$$ helping him out. Didn't help he is still a loser - he is the bio father of the grandson we are raising and of course he swears he is not his father and has nothing to do with him. Now when I look back I too wonder why we did all this and I'm sure alot of what she told us was probably lies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2006 Report Share Posted April 2, 2006 , How does your grandson do? Does he ask about his parents and/or why he hasn't seen them? What do you tell them. Sometimes I feel my granddaughter would fare better if she were with us, with no parental contact. That won't happen, but I can dream. Then I think she would miss her parents. All kids seem to have this dream of having their parents together. Carol -------------- Original message -------------- > Blondie, > yes it is sad and this guy was almost 30 when grandson was born. My grandson > is 10 now and has lived with us since he was 18 months - no contact from either > parent for over 7 yrs. Which is better actually - we can live without their > drama. > > > > TxCoastGal@... wrote: > > Some of these young folks have no gratitude whatsoever do they? > > How sad that we have to think of our grandchildren's father as such a loser. > I know , I had one of those 'losers' as my grandchildren's father too. > He was my daughter's 2nd husband. He committed suicide in 2003. At least, > through death, he is supporting his family through Social Security. Well... > the system is really supporting them, as it has always done. Very sad. > Blessings to you for taking that grandson in! How old is he? I have 4 total. > Eldest is from 1st son in law. > Then there are three more by the 'loser'. > > Blondie > > In a message dated 3/31/2006 10:25:42 A.M. Central Standard Time, > njbyrd@... writes: > > My daughter did this too - much drama and tears about her needy boyfriend. > To listen to her the whole world not just his family was against him. We > felt sorry for him and spent much time and lots of $$$$ helping him out. > Didn't > help he is still a loser - he is the bio father of the grandson we are > raising and of course he swears he is not his father and has nothing to do with > him. Now when I look back I too wonder why we did all this and I'm sure alot > of what she told us was probably lies. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 5, 2006 Report Share Posted April 5, 2006 Carol, My grandson has some signs of RAD and he also has abandonment issues. He does respond well to routines, rules and firmness. A few days ago he told me about a really scary dream he had where he and I went visiting and he went off to play with the kids and when he came to find me I was gone and the people told him I was never coming back. In the 9 years he has lived with us he has asked questions about his parents maybe 4 or 5 times. I answer as honestly as I can but keep my opinions to myself. When he was about 6 he asked why he didn't live with them, I told him his father left when he was about a year old and I didn't know why. My opinion is he didn't want the responsibility of a child. And I told him his mother brought him to us when he was about 18 months old because she had problems and couldn't take care of him. He accepted those answers and hasn't asked again. When he was about 8 we found out addresses of his mother and father through child support and asked if he wanted us to take him to see them and he said no. Before that we had no idea where either of them lived. Since then he hasn't asked about either of them. I'm sure as he gets older he will have more questions. He calls us gramma and grampa but when he talks about us to someone else he refers to us as 'my' mom and dad. I think if they were to come around now it would just upset him - so it is better for him that they stay away because I don't believe either of them wants to be a parent to him. bosoxfan199@... wrote: , How does your grandson do? Does he ask about his parents and/or why he hasn't seen them? What do you tell them. Sometimes I feel my granddaughter would fare better if she were with us, with no parental contact. That won't happen, but I can dream. Then I think she would miss her parents. All kids seem to have this dream of having their parents together. Carol -------------- Original message -------------- From: > Blondie, > yes it is sad and this guy was almost 30 when grandson was born. My grandson > is 10 now and has lived with us since he was 18 months - no contact from either > parent for over 7 yrs. Which is better actually - we can live without their > drama. > > > > TxCoastGal@... wrote: > > Some of these young folks have no gratitude whatsoever do they? > > How sad that we have to think of our grandchildren's father as such a loser. > I know , I had one of those 'losers' as my grandchildren's father too. > He was my daughter's 2nd husband. He committed suicide in 2003. At least, > through death, he is supporting his family through Social Security. Well... > the system is really supporting them, as it has always done. Very sad. > Blessings to you for taking that grandson in! How old is he? I have 4 total. > Eldest is from 1st son in law. > Then there are three more by the 'loser'. > > Blondie > > In a message dated 3/31/2006 10:25:42 A.M. Central Standard Time, > njbyrd@... writes: > > My daughter did this too - much drama and tears about her needy boyfriend. > To listen to her the whole world not just his family was against him. We > felt sorry for him and spent much time and lots of $$$$ helping him out. > Didn't > help he is still a loser - he is the bio father of the grandson we are > raising and of course he swears he is not his father and has nothing to do with > him. Now when I look back I too wonder why we did all this and I'm sure alot > of what she told us was probably lies. > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 , I'm glad you are there for your grandson. What is RAD? Carol -------------- Original message -------------- > Carol, > My grandson has some signs of RAD and he also has abandonment issues. He does > respond well to routines, rules and firmness. A few days ago he told me about > a really scary dream he had where he and I went visiting and he went off to play > with the kids and when he came to find me I was gone and the people told him I > was never coming back. > > In the 9 years he has lived with us he has asked questions about his parents > maybe 4 or 5 times. I answer as honestly as I can but keep my opinions to > myself. When he was about 6 he asked why he didn't live with them, I told him > his father left when he was about a year old and I didn't know why. My opinion > is he didn't want the responsibility of a child. And I told him his mother > brought him to us when he was about 18 months old because she had problems and > couldn't take care of him. He accepted those answers and hasn't asked again. > When he was about 8 we found out addresses of his mother and father through > child support and asked if he wanted us to take him to see them and he said no. > Before that we had no idea where either of them lived. Since then he hasn't > asked about either of them. I'm sure as he gets older he will have more > questions. > > He calls us gramma and grampa but when he talks about us to someone else he > refers to us as 'my' mom and dad. I think if they were to come around now it > would just upset him - so it is better for him that they stay away because I > don't believe either of them wants to be a parent to him. > > > > bosoxfan199@... wrote: > , > > How does your grandson do? Does he ask about his parents and/or why he hasn't > seen them? What do you tell them. > > Sometimes I feel my granddaughter would fare better if she were with us, with no > parental contact. That won't happen, but I can dream. Then I think she would > miss her parents. All kids seem to have this dream of having their parents > together. > > Carol > > -------------- Original message -------------- > From: > > > Blondie, > > yes it is sad and this guy was almost 30 when grandson was born. My grandson > > is 10 now and has lived with us since he was 18 months - no contact from > either > > parent for over 7 yrs. Which is better actually - we can live without their > > drama. > > > > > > > > TxCoastGal@... wrote: > > > > Some of these young folks have no gratitude whatsoever do they? > > > > How sad that we have to think of our grandchildren's father as such a loser. > > I know , I had one of those 'losers' as my grandchildren's father too. > > He was my daughter's 2nd husband. He committed suicide in 2003. At least, > > through death, he is supporting his family through Social Security. Well... > > the system is really supporting them, as it has always done. Very sad. > > Blessings to you for taking that grandson in! How old is he? I have 4 total. > > Eldest is from 1st son in law. > > Then there are three more by the 'loser'. > > > > Blondie > > > > In a message dated 3/31/2006 10:25:42 A.M. Central Standard Time, > > njbyrd@... writes: > > > > My daughter did this too - much drama and tears about her needy boyfriend. > > To listen to her the whole world not just his family was against him. We > > felt sorry for him and spent much time and lots of $$$$ helping him out. > > Didn't > > help he is still a loser - he is the bio father of the grandson we are > > raising and of course he swears he is not his father and has nothing to do > with > > him. Now when I look back I too wonder why we did all this and I'm sure alot > > of what she told us was probably lies. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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