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Kim,

Funny you should use the word " selfish " . Whenever someone asks me how

I'm able to exercise almost every day or stick well to eating healthy

I always tell them I first had to learn to be selfish. I tell them

it's okay to think of my kids, a woman, my friends, the way I appear

to others, etc. on a case by case basis to motivate myself but when

it comes to the day after day, week after week motivation the only

thing that keeps me going is doing this for myself. Being selfish

works great for me because I'm always there for myself when I'm

tempted or when I need some motivation to get up and go to the gym.

I also talk about how I know I to a lesser extent and really a lot of

you all (those from this forum I'm on) have sacrificed their own

bodies and health to further the happiness of their own families,

friends, education, careers, etc. and that it's very hard to get your

mind right to where you set aside some " regular " time purely for

yourself or some activity purely for your own pleasure.

You do know that if others see you being selfish, not completely

selfish but a little bit selfish, doing something for yourself, that

they think it's okay to do that for themselves and will act that way

too and do things they enjoy too right? I encourage my kids to spend

time each week doing something that's totally for their own pleasure

that dad or others (like my ex so and so) might not like to do. It's

hard for me to give up being involved in every aspect of their

time/hapiness but seeing them happy and able to choose their own

direction is satisfying too.

There's nothing wrong with you being selfish in your eating/cooking.

You're worth it to yourself, right?

Mike in GR

> >

> > Hi , I have found that many times our families do things

> > without thinking or meaning to do them. Maybe you can just point

it

> > out to whoever's house you are going over to. Tell them, You

know, I

> > don't know if you realize it or not but the food items you

prepared

> > were not things I could eat. Maybe they didn't think about it. Or

> you

> > could suggest a potluck type thing. I found I like to do that

> because

> > than you know there will be something there you can eat. Take

Care,

> > In CA

> >

>

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Lin,

I have a cousin who is an organic farmer and a brother who works for

Whole Foods. They both eat " healthy " in that they're vehemently into

buying/consuming organic food.

While my cousin is admirable in how much she and her family eats

vegetables and doesn't go towards sweets and fats I would still tweak

them towards more protein. But really she's quite good at a very

healthy casual diet. Heck she's almost too extreme for me.

My brother is another story. He eats full fat and sugared crap. He's

probably 50lbs heavier than I am now, maybe more. His wife is

overweight though not as much. His willingness to spend many times

the amount on organic food, from local shops, claim that they taste

different/better and then to totally ignore the nutrition data on

things is troubling to me. I don't lecture him. I don't really care.

He lives in Austin and has little to do with me or my parents here in

GR. It's a shame but it's his choice, not mine. I don't really get

all into his food and purchasing decisions unless he brings it up. Of

course then I let the flood gates go and tell him all of my thoughts

in crystal clarity and poignant brevity.

I try to remember how poorly I've eaten in most of my years, remember

that while I have multiple degrees non of them is remotely related to

nutrition, health or anything even in the biological sciences and

that I don't really have any research interest in diet other than my

own personal desires relating to WLS and generating conversation with

my smoking hot dietician (WOO). I try not to cast stones because I

slip, ditch and forget the rules of my own making sometimes. I just

try to be the best I can and offer advice when asked if I have any.

I'm just thankful that my kids and family appreciate my diligence and

advice. Others at work and whom I've dated seem to admire me a bit

too. That's a nice feeling. I tend to be pretty intense on some

things. It's important to me not to overbear on things that are

important to me though too.

Mike in GR

> > > >

> > > > I am feeling a bit hurt.My family usually has Fried Fish,some

> > years

> > > > we had baked too & Pieroghis on Christmas eve dinner.Well this

> > > > year,my mom is making ONLY fried Fish,potato salad and

> macaroni

> > > > salad.They know this is not the best for me but it seems like

> no

> > > one

> > > > cares.I even mentioned I cannot or should not eat it.

> > > >

> > > > I went and bought some Orange roughy & I baked it with some

> > > > Mushrooms & Langostinos.Used some lemon juice,White cooking

> > wine,a

> > > > bit of margarine,garlic powder,& black pepper.After it was

> done

> > > > baking I added some finely grated Asiago cheese on top.

> > > >

> > > > It looks & smells like something from a gourmet resturant &

> I'm

> > not

> > > > sharing,LOL!Actually there isn't enough to go around.Just

> enough

> > > for

> > > > 1 small serving.Perfect for me.

> > > >

> > > > Does anyone else have family who tries to accomodate your food

> > > needs?

> > > >

> > > > Kim

> > > > RNY 6/23/06

> > > > (6 mo post op)

> > > > 298/206/135

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

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Kim, don't feel selfish for taking care of your health and asking

for what you need...I know it " feels " selfish, but you need to ask

in clear terms for what you are needing. This not only helps others

know what do but gives you a sense of self worth. You are worth it;

don't feel bad for this. Don't be so hard on yourself - lisamathis

> Hi Tracey,I spoke to my mom today & really pointed out that

nothing

> she made was oK for me.She said I guess we will have to get

together

> then & discuss what you can have.I told her it would probably be

> easire for her if I just cooked for myself.I feel selfish for even

> bringing it up now.

>

> Kim

>

>

> >

> > Hi , I have found that many times our families do things

> > without thinking or meaning to do them. Maybe you can just point

it

> > out to whoever's house you are going over to. Tell them, You

know, I

> > don't know if you realize it or not but the food items you

prepared

> > were not things I could eat. Maybe they didn't think about it.

Or

> you

> > could suggest a potluck type thing. I found I like to do that

> because

> > than you know there will be something there you can eat. Take

Care,

> > In CA

> >

>

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Thank you Mike for making me see it that way :o)

Kim

> > >

> > > Hi , I have found that many times our families do

things

> > > without thinking or meaning to do them. Maybe you can just

point

> it

> > > out to whoever's house you are going over to. Tell them, You

> know, I

> > > don't know if you realize it or not but the food items you

> prepared

> > > were not things I could eat. Maybe they didn't think about it.

Or

> > you

> > > could suggest a potluck type thing. I found I like to do that

> > because

> > > than you know there will be something there you can eat. Take

> Care,

> > > In CA

> > >

> >

>

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We(my mom & I) have gone thru this before but I do believe my mom is

staring to get alzheimers or CRS syndrome.She even offered me those

Gummy Green spearmint candies a few times when she KNOWs sugar is

off limits.

> >

> > Hi , I have found that many times our families do things

> > without thinking or meaning to do them. Maybe you can just point

it

> > out to whoever's house you are going over to. Tell them, You

know, I

> > don't know if you realize it or not but the food items you

prepared

> > were not things I could eat. Maybe they didn't think about it. Or

> you

> > could suggest a potluck type thing. I found I like to do that

> because

> > than you know there will be something there you can eat. Take

Care,

> > In CA

> >

>

>

>

>

>

> -------------------------------------------------------------------

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12/25/2006

> 10:19 AM

>

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Thanks :o)

Kim

> > >

> > > Hi , I have found that many times our families do

things

> > > without thinking or meaning to do them. Maybe you can just

point

> it

> > > out to whoever's house you are going over to. Tell them, You

> know, I

> > > don't know if you realize it or not but the food items you

> prepared

> > > were not things I could eat. Maybe they didn't think about it.

> Or

> > you

> > > could suggest a potluck type thing. I found I like to do that

> > because

> > > than you know there will be something there you can eat. Take

> Care,

> > > In CA

> > >

> >

>

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