What next

[Guest guest]

Got my gbabies this weekend after calling my dtr to see if I could

pick them up for a couple of hours as I am only supposed to get them

X1 a month. She seemed very eager to let me have them for a couple

of nights. I posted a few weeks ago that the abusive boyfriend was

back...well--when she met with babies she had a another boyfriend--

just said " this is J, I was with him for 5 months before I went back

to B for a month--he's really good to me (yada,yada) " called me the

next day and said she had broken up with J as he was crazy " . Here is

my current dilemma--dtr said I want us to be friends again--told her

I wasn't sure where to start given her behavior and disrespect toward

me, but that I would be willing to set down with family counselor.

She proceeded to tell me she had been seeing a psychiatrist for a

year who told her she was personality disordered, but not bpd---

having read SWOE, reviewed other education info, and consulted with

several mental health prof., I still believe my dtr exhibits lots of

bpd symptoms. However, regardless of what I think as long as she is

trying to seek prof. help I am glad. Someone posted the other day

about their child and false accusations and bpd distorted reality---

all of this makes it really hard to know how to begin dealing with an

adult child in a relationship, remain detached from their stuff, be

supportive, help gbabies, etc.

I am planning to find a local support group either with NAMI, Family

Anonymous,Al-Anon.. something. I still feel anger toward her for

disrupting babies attachment to me unnecessarily...when I sense her

spiraling down, my first instinct is to help in some way, but this go

around I have to try something different and be prepared because I

feel her trying to shift and split by implying things about my ex.

It absolutely never ceases to amaze me how that my dtr can be so

bold, arrogant, demanding, intrusive, and then flip into this scared,

anxious, depressed, despereate child. ----debbie b