Re: Just don't care about her/

[Guest guest]

How old is your daughter and how long have you had nothing to do with her? I

am assuming SHE thinks there is nothing wrong with her and problems are all

your fault?? She is not on medication, right?

Jean

[Guest guest]

Jean,

She is 39 and we haven't heard from her since Dec 98. She is the one

that has moved and changed phone numbers - we have been in the same

house for 25 years.

We are raising her 10 yo son and of course it is all our fault -

according to her we stole him away. NOT! We went to court and a

judge gave us temporary custody 8 years ago. She told my fil she

pays child support - another lie.

We helped her financially for many years. I'm glad H finally said

enough and told her no - it was really hard for me to tell her no -

cried alot of tears and felt like an awful mother but if we hadn't

said no more we would still be paying her way.

Life is so much more peaceful without her in it.

>

>

>

> How old is your daughter and how long have you had nothing to do

with her? I

> am assuming SHE thinks there is nothing wrong with her and

problems are all

> your fault?? She is not on medication, right?

>

> Jean

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It is so hard for these kids and my attorney told me last summer that the

courts are seeing more and more of this in all socioeconomic groups. It used

to be just the lower levels of society would abandon or be unfit to raise

their kids, now it is all levels of society. Cannot just be BP that is the

cause. Where the heck is this society's values now a days? It is a good thing

so

many grandparents are willing to step up to the plate. But it is so

exhausting.

Jean

[Guest guest]

,

Doesn't your grandson ask about his mom? What do you say? How does he deal

with that? Otherwise, is he happy and has friends.

Carol

-------------- Original message --------------

Jean,

She is 39 and we haven't heard from her since Dec 98. She is the one

that has moved and changed phone numbers - we have been in the same

house for 25 years.

We are raising her 10 yo son and of course it is all our fault -

according to her we stole him away. NOT! We went to court and a

judge gave us temporary custody 8 years ago. She told my fil she

pays child support - another lie.

We helped her financially for many years. I'm glad H finally said

enough and told her no - it was really hard for me to tell her no -

cried alot of tears and felt like an awful mother but if we hadn't

said no more we would still be paying her way.

Life is so much more peaceful without her in it.

>

>

>

> How old is your daughter and how long have you had nothing to do

with her? I

> am assuming SHE thinks there is nothing wrong with her and

problems are all

> your fault?? She is not on medication, right?

>

> Jean

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Carol,

He hasn't asked anything about her in quite awhile. When he has

asked questions we answer as best we can - which isn't much because

we haven't had any contact in so long.. We have been advised to

tell him the truth but not to give him any opinions of ours.

He seems to be happy, he loves school and is very involved in

scouts. When he talks about us to his friends he refers to us as

his mom and dad but calls us gramma and grandpa.

> >

> >

> >

> > How old is your daughter and how long have you had nothing to do

> with her? I

> > am assuming SHE thinks there is nothing wrong with her and

> problems are all

> > your fault?? She is not on medication, right?

> >

> > Jean

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Why did your daughter lose custody of her little boy? I figure she was

about 31 when that happened. Was she and is she married? Doew she have any

other children? Other than not liking her parents, is her life straightened

out

yet?

I wonder if my daughter will stop talking to me again when I don't pay her

mortgage ! I am so tired that, at this point, I would get over it. Having my

own life looks better and better.

Jean

[Guest guest]

I can sympathize with you. I often wonder what is going to happen to this

one down the road. I was supposed to take my youngest grandson (2 months) to

the doctor for his 2 month check up today. Fine, I stuffed it into my work

schedule. Just got a call from her saying the daycare called her and told her

the 17 mo old threw up and needed to be picked up. She called me telling me

she was going to be missing making $100 today at work--hinting that I go get

this one too. I already have (7 1/2 yr old), because camp didn't

start till next week.

So in between my trying to put a real estate deal together that I have been

working on and stressed about all week, plus trying to make business calls

and preparing an appraisal for another client, I am supposed to care for a

vomiting kid. She KNOWS I won't clean up vomit---that is where I have always

drawn the line.

So she started yelling at me on the phone and it is hot as hell here today

and I have NO tolerance for the heat and humidity. She yelled at me that she

would have to sell the house that she was quitting everything and I lost it

and SCREAMED into the phone that I didn't care, that this isn't my fault and

that none of her problems are my fault and I hung up on her. She hasn't

called back.

Jean

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/23/2006 1:13:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,

cascorsam@... writes:

She yelled at me that she

would have to sell the house that she was quitting everything and I lost it

and SCREAMED into the phone that I didn't care, that this isn't my fault and

that none of her problems are my fault and I hung up on her. She hasn't

called back.

Jean

GOOD FOR YOU.............. MAYBE THE LITTLE BRAT WILL WAKE UP!!!?

DebbieL

[Guest guest]

Jean,

She lost custody because she wouldn't provide the proof the judge

requested. We filed for temp custody because she was in danger of

going to jail for probation violations and we didn't want him in

foster care. The judge asked her to provide proof she had a steady

job, adequate daycare and was following the terms of her probation.

When we went to court she claimed she had these things but never

provided the proof. After we had custody for a little over a year

she and 5 of her friends tried to snatch him at a family funeral.

The guy driving the car even told my H he had a gun and not to try

following them. The police caught up with her so the last time my gs

saw his mother she was being arrested. This was in Dec of 98 and we

havn't seen or heard from her since.

She is married to a man who has been in and out of jail since he was

a teenager. His last offense was child molesting. I'm sure he told

her he was innocent but he did spend time in jail. She has 3 more

kids that I know of. My fil has some contact with her but I just

don't want to know anymore - it hurts too much and my heart has been

broken enough and there is nothing I can do to change anything. When

my gs is old enough, if he wants to find her, I will help him.

>

>

>

> Why did your daughter lose custody of her little boy? I figure

she was

> about 31 when that happened. Was she and is she married? Doew

she have any

> other children? Other than not liking her parents, is her life

straightened out

> yet?

>

> I wonder if my daughter will stop talking to me again when I

don't pay her

> mortgage ! I am so tired that, at this point, I would get over

it. Having my

> own life looks better and better.

>

> Jean

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> and SCREAMED into the phone that I didn't care, that

> this isn't my fault and

> that none of her problems are my fault and I hung up

> on her. She hasn't

> called back.

Goooooooo, Jean! seems to get the message

when you put your foot down. It sounds like it

knocks a little sense into her head, and that means

you're doing something good for her.

GOOOOOOOOOO!

Deborah

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Jean,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please distance yourself.

I know it's distressing. Perhaps Kwill change her behavior when she knows for

sure you won't react to her. Instead of yelling back, (it takes time - believe

me I know), please work on trying to be calm and say a lot of " I'm sorry for

you,s " ...... " I'm sorry you are feeling that way. " etc.

Carol

-------------- Original message --------------

From: cascorsam@...

I can sympathize with you. I often wonder what is going to happen to this

one down the road. I was supposed to take my youngest grandson (2 months) to

the doctor for his 2 month check up today. Fine, I stuffed it into my work

schedule. Just got a call from her saying the daycare called her and told her

the 17 mo old threw up and needed to be picked up. She called me telling me

she was going to be missing making $100 today at work--hinting that I go get

this one too. I already have (7 1/2 yr old), because camp didn't

start till next week.

So in between my trying to put a real estate deal together that I have been

working on and stressed about all week, plus trying to make business calls

and preparing an appraisal for another client, I am supposed to care for a

vomiting kid. She KNOWS I won't clean up vomit---that is where I have always

drawn the line.

So she started yelling at me on the phone and it is hot as hell here today

and I have NO tolerance for the heat and humidity. She yelled at me that she

would have to sell the house that she was quitting everything and I lost it

and SCREAMED into the phone that I didn't care, that this isn't my fault and

that none of her problems are my fault and I hung up on her. She hasn't

called back.

Jean