Re: Doubts, Second Thoughts, and Second Guesses

[Guest guest]

My surgery in on Jan. 9th and I am having the same

thoughts. I am starting to think of the surgery as

something bad that will happen to me instead of

something good that I am doing for myself. The only

reason I am not backing out is because of my husband.

He is fit and active and I am 370 lbs. and not active

at all. I want to be able to have a life with him

instead of holding of him back. Also, I want to have

babies and I can't because of my weight. I have PCOS

and losing weight will definately help. I guess you

just have to focus on what you will gain as far as

quality of life instead of what you will lose (food).

--- greenie_673 greenie_673@...> wrote:

> I'm just a week and a day away from my surgery and I

> keep thinking

> about the permanency and severity of what I'm about

> to undertake. I

> keep thinking about the lifestyle changes and yes,

> about the foods

> I've loved that I may never be able to enjoy again.

> I've never been a

> big eater and have often skipped breakfast and lunch

> several times a

> week, opting for several cups of coffee instead. I

> have 3 young

> children who love it when I cook. When my ex

> husband and I adopted

> our 3 girls we were told by their pediatrician not

> to go low fat

> anything with them because of difficulties getting

> them to put on

> weight and because of past malnutrition issues. So

> I had even more

> reason to cook so many of the foods I loved for

> dinner. Breakfast and

> lunch were easy since they love cereal and simple

> sandwiches but at

> dinnertime out come the oven mitts lol. One of our

> favorite dinners

> is breakfast lol...french toast smothered in butter

> and powdered

> sugar, fried potatoes with eggs and sausage, not to

> mention biscuits

> and gravy. Do I really want to give up those

> things? I know that I

> can but it's not only my lifestyle that I will have

> to change but my

> childrens too. I will no longer be able to cook all

> those wonderful

> foods for them knowing that I can't eat them. It

> would just be too

> easy to cheat so I will have to cook healthier for

> all of us. That's

> ok for the girls now since they have a few years

> under their belts and

> their metabolism is pretty much caught up.

> Anyway, the whole point and question to all of you,

> besides just

> listen to me ramble on, is...did any of you start to

> doubt your

> decision and question whether or not this was the

> right thing for you?

> If so how did you keep yourself from screaming and

> running away from

> the surgery? I need this surgery, not because I'm

> too obese yet, but

> because I put on more and more weight every year and

> already the

> co-morbidities are there and I want to do something

> now before things

> get worse. Also, I know many of you are going to

> suggest lab band due

> to the lesser severity but I don't qualify for that

> due to a pretty

> substantial hiatul hernia.

>

> kris

>

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Kris

I'm calling it bridal jitters. My surgery is about 1.5 weeks away and

I get jittery and a little scared. I think we wouldn't be human if we

didn't. I think it is ok to be scared. I ride along with it. I had

a bit of a talk with my reg doctor earlier this week and he gave me

some very light anti anxiety pills, he told me if I felt a panic

coming just take one or not as I needed.

Most of the time I'm ok with it all. Work it thorugh and rmemeber you

are doing this for your kids, so you can be around for them. So you

can look good for them. So you are around to take care of them and

visit with your grandchildren some day.

if all else fails ask your doc for some light anti anxiety. I've only

used them once, but I'm glad they were there.

.

[Guest guest]

I think we've all been there. I know I did. I wondered how I would

survive w/out some of my favorite foods. But the thing is...I wouldn't

have survived w/ them. That's the key. I didn't want to think about

how bad my health would have been in 5 or 10 years. I wanted to do

something NOW to make sure I didn't get that bad. I don't regret having

my surgery at all. I had those same doubts, second thoughts, and second

guesses. But now I have new favorite foods. Sure, I miss some things;

but when I look in the mirror...it's SO WORTH IT!!!

W

380/254/160

greenie_673 wrote:

> I'm just a week and a day away from my surgery and I keep thinking

> about the permanency and severity of what I'm about to undertake. I

> keep thinking about the lifestyle changes and yes, about the foods

> I've loved that I may never be able to enjoy again. I've never been a

> big eater and have often skipped breakfast and lunch several times a

> week, opting for several cups of coffee instead. I have 3 young

> children who love it when I cook. When my ex husband and I adopted

> our 3 girls we were told by their pediatrician not to go low fat

> anything with them because of difficulties getting them to put on

> weight and because of past malnutrition issues. So I had even more

> reason to cook so many of the foods I loved for dinner. Breakfast and

> lunch were easy since they love cereal and simple sandwiches but at

> dinnertime out come the oven mitts lol. One of our favorite dinners

> is breakfast lol...french toast smothered in butter and powdered

> sugar, fried potatoes with eggs and sausage, not to mention biscuits

> and gravy. Do I really want to give up those things? I know that I

> can but it's not only my lifestyle that I will have to change but my

> childrens too. I will no longer be able to cook all those wonderful

> foods for them knowing that I can't eat them. It would just be too

> easy to cheat so I will have to cook healthier for all of us. That's

> ok for the girls now since they have a few years under their belts and

> their metabolism is pretty much caught up.

> Anyway, the whole point and question to all of you, besides just

> listen to me ramble on, is...did any of you start to doubt your

> decision and question whether or not this was the right thing for you?

> If so how did you keep yourself from screaming and running away from

> the surgery? I need this surgery, not because I'm too obese yet, but

> because I put on more and more weight every year and already the

> co-morbidities are there and I want to do something now before things

> get worse. Also, I know many of you are going to suggest lab band due

> to the lesser severity but I don't qualify for that due to a pretty

> substantial hiatul hernia.

>

> kris

[Guest guest]

Hi Kris -

No, you are not alone with those second guesses. It was that way for

me too...and it lasted right up until the morning of my surgery 5

weeks ago. I thank God for a wonderful network of friends who have

always accepted me for who I am and who supported me on the journey.

I don't have a family/kids so I don't have the same challenge you do

about meal prep...but then, there's a lot more restaurant/socializing

over meals in my case. Yes, the surgery will change food choices but

most importantly, it will change portion size. A lot of the people

that have had WLS will tell you that your brain will re-wire and the

wants/desires for certain foods will change. You'll also start

paying a lot more attention to the protein quantity you're taking in

daily. Last week I had this not-to-be-denied craving for pizza. I

picked up a small pizza on my way home, baked 1/2 of it...and ate the

sauce/cheese & meat off the top...the dogs got all of the

dough/crust. I figure it was a win-win...I got the taste I wanted,

the protein I needed...and the dogs got the carbs! So, as the saying

goes...you can have your cake (pizza) and eat it too!

I also had a hernia prior to my surgery...so I can commiserate with

you about the need for open surgery versus laproscopic.

Good luck - Diann

[Guest guest]

Kris

Hang out here with this group, and hear all the positive folks around

you, who have survived this surgey no problems. Stop dwelling on the

scary and negative issues, get up go watch a funny movie. Do what

ever you have to do to distract yourself from this scary thoughts.

Has someone been trying to talk you out or scare you out of this surgery?

I've got someone that is always trying to do that to me so it got to

me for awhile so I've just started ignorning her.

This is a positive thing you are doing go forward and don't let those

thoughts take hold of you, if you do they will destroy your confidence

in yourself, your doctor and make you a very naughty patient in the

hospital. Smile, breath deep and know you are doing something good to

take care of yourself, and your future children.

PS, if you want to talk more call me my number is and my

reg email is karenostrom@...

I've not had my surgey yet, and I'm having mine in Mexico. So come on

girl put a smile on and lets get cute and sexy. Heck girl, I can't

even get pregnant and I'll bet my husband will be giving it his best

shot when I start looking like a hot momma.

[Guest guest]

,

LOL Who hasn't tried to talk me out of this? I've heard everything

from " You aren't big enough to need surgery " to how dangerous the

surgery is. I've tried to explain that I have put alot of time and

effort into researching and talking with others who have been through

it and that for me this is the right step. They don't care that I'm

diabetic now or that I stop breathing 25.2 times an hour while I'm

sleeping or that my oxygen saturation drops to 80% while asleep. They

don't care that my knees hurt so much that once I'm down it's a bitch

pulling myself up again. They don't care that I'm tired and have no

energy to do the things with my kids that they want me to do. So,

yes, many have tried to talk me out of this and don't understand but

that's not where the doubts are coming from. It's coming from the

fact that since my divorce 3.5 years ago my kids are now so used to

fast food, thanks to their dad who prefers the drive thru to spending

anytime in the kitchen, that anytime I try to make something healthy

the whine and complain. It's because the doctor is going to be

cutting up my insides. It's because I'm not ready to quit smoking. I

can give up the foods and I can get the girls used to not having the

crappy food when they're with me, with time and patience, I can do the

exercise, but Lord help me I'm not ready to give up smoking and the

doctor has said that he won't do the surgery unless I quit. I've been

trying to find a way to fool him lol. And yes, I guess that part of

me is afraid that 10 years down the road their going to find that this

surgery is bad for you. How often do they tell you one minute that

something is good for you and then turn around and say they were

wrong, or vice versa?

Kris

>

> Kris

>

> Hang out here with this group, and hear all the positive folks around

> you, who have survived this surgey no problems. Stop dwelling on the

> scary and negative issues, get up go watch a funny movie. Do what

> ever you have to do to distract yourself from this scary thoughts.

> Has someone been trying to talk you out or scare you out of this

surgery?

>

> I've got someone that is always trying to do that to me so it got to

> me for awhile so I've just started ignorning her.

>

> This is a positive thing you are doing go forward and don't let those

> thoughts take hold of you, if you do they will destroy your confidence

> in yourself, your doctor and make you a very naughty patient in the

> hospital. Smile, breath deep and know you are doing something good to

> take care of yourself, and your future children.

>

>

>

> PS, if you want to talk more call me my number is and my

> reg email is karenostrom@...

>

> I've not had my surgey yet, and I'm having mine in Mexico. So come on

> girl put a smile on and lets get cute and sexy. Heck girl, I can't

> even get pregnant and I'll bet my husband will be giving it his best

> shot when I start looking like a hot momma.

>