Re: Re: YEAH!!! Shauna is back!!!!

[Guest guest]

awww Thanks , glad I am helpful here when I can be. It is an odd feeling

trying to put yourself first because it is sooo out of our character but you

know what GOOD FOR YOU!!!! I have truly learned that more then ever in the last

year or so and I am so grateful to be learning it. Without taking care of

ourselves we can't help anyone anyways and that's the bottom line. There has to

be a compromise and balance. Thanks again for the kind words. Glad to be back

around.

Shauna

W akwalker13@...> wrote:

Not to put pressure on you, but " Bad Shauna " ....don't do that to us

again. Your posts are always either insightful or upbeat. I really

miss them when you're absent.

Really though. Robyn is right, all of us need to learn to put

ourselves first on occasion. I think a lot of us might not be in this

position if we had learned that lesson early on. I always drop

everything when someone needs something or I always try to accomodate

everyone else's schedule. When I got my date, I decided heck with

everyone else. It was probably the most inconvenient time for the

people I work with and it was not convenient for my friends and family

because of the holidays. I decided I was going to do it when I wanted

and too bad if they didn't like it. I never ask anyone for anything

and just decided this one time I was going to come first. It was

really a strange feeling.

-- In GastricBypass-LOSERS , " Robyn " wrote:

>

> Welcome home Shauna. It is so good to see your name online.

>

> We all have busy lives and we owe it to ourselves to place our needs

> first, If we can't take care of ourselves we can't be there for anyone

> else. You have been and continue to be a terrific Moderator. We know

> you have a job, school, family and personal life. We have missed you

> but also know your plate is very full these days.

>

> Shauna, I don't have any words of wisdom for you. I too tried to " do it

> all " and my house of cards came tumbling down. I have accepted my

> limitations and do the best I can. I maintain a household in two

> cities as well as the myriad of stressors in my family and personal and

> professional lives. I have medical issues and good days and bad days

> that accompany those maladies.

>

> It was very hard, but I had to stop being the " caregiver. " I also ended

> unhealthy relationships with people who were takers and never gave to

> me when I needed their time and attention. Friendships should be a two

> way street. People who are takers are " Draino " friends. I don't have

> the time or energy to fix other peoples lives. I have seen too many

> people in our WLS community have surgery to " fix " their broken lives

> without wanting to do the work that comes with having a healthy life in

> the physical and emotional sense. I am glad to see you are tending to

> your needs and creating a foundation for a more successful future. You

> are blessed!

>

> An important factor in finding some semblance of peace in my life was

> setting BOUNDARIES. When I say NO, I mean NO!!! I don't answer email,

> phone calls or faxes after the close of normal business hours. When so

> called friends call me for legal advice, I remind them that I don't

> call them for FREE professional services unless they want to trade or

> barter. One hour of my legal help for a free

> haircut/color/highlights....you get the point. Time is money and my

> time is limited.

>

> As you can see, I am seldom online these days. My personal priorities

> come first. Don't worry about the boards. You take care of you first.

> That's what post op life is about. Don't worry about catching up. Just

> jump in when and if you have the spare time.

>

> My best to you always.

>

> Robyn

>

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Mike, this is exactly the point I am trying to get to, where I can take care of

me and then feel positive and open for others.

Mike websculpt@...> wrote: This mental head crap is cyclical

though folks. I have found in the

last few months that, by making regularly scheduled time for myself

and myself only I actually enjoy or at least don't notice that I'm

sacrificing time/effort for others. I certainly complain less I know

that (although come on, I'm always up for a healthy whine/bitch

session).

I've found my ex wife, other ladies, and my family/friends say things

like, " Are you sure you have time to do that? " and stuff. I guess

my " non-me " time seems more accessible and less precious to me than

when I didn't have any. I'm not constantly seeing my time as being

used up or taken from me because I always have some that is for me. I

can see how someone could take this to an extreme though and always

be into most/all of their time being for them and their interests

leading to them being a complete ass.

Way to choose your date around you! That's hot baby!

Mike in GR

> >

> > Welcome home Shauna. It is so good to see your name online.

> >

> > We all have busy lives and we owe it to ourselves to place our

needs

> > first, If we can't take care of ourselves we can't be there for

anyone

> > else. You have been and continue to be a terrific Moderator. We

know

> > you have a job, school, family and personal life. We have missed

you

> > but also know your plate is very full these days.

> >

> > Shauna, I don't have any words of wisdom for you. I too tried

to " do it

> > all " and my house of cards came tumbling down. I have accepted my

> > limitations and do the best I can. I maintain a household in two

> > cities as well as the myriad of stressors in my family and

personal and

> > professional lives. I have medical issues and good days and bad

days

> > that accompany those maladies.

> >

> > It was very hard, but I had to stop being the " caregiver. " I also

ended

> > unhealthy relationships with people who were takers and never

gave to

> > me when I needed their time and attention. Friendships should be

a two

> > way street. People who are takers are " Draino " friends. I don't

have

> > the time or energy to fix other peoples lives. I have seen too

many

> > people in our WLS community have surgery to " fix " their broken

lives

> > without wanting to do the work that comes with having a healthy

life in

> > the physical and emotional sense. I am glad to see you are

tending to

> > your needs and creating a foundation for a more successful

future. You

> > are blessed!

> >

> > An important factor in finding some semblance of peace in my life

was

> > setting BOUNDARIES. When I say NO, I mean NO!!! I don't answer

email,

> > phone calls or faxes after the close of normal business hours.

When so

> > called friends call me for legal advice, I remind them that I

don't

> > call them for FREE professional services unless they want to

trade or

> > barter. One hour of my legal help for a free

> > haircut/color/highlights....you get the point. Time is money and

my

> > time is limited.

> >

> > As you can see, I am seldom online these days. My personal

priorities

> > come first. Don't worry about the boards. You take care of you

first.

> > That's what post op life is about. Don't worry about catching up.

Just

> > jump in when and if you have the spare time.

> >

> > My best to you always.

> >

> > Robyn

> >

>

__________________________________________________