Guest guest Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Can someone tell us more about DBT other than who developed it? We plan on getting B into it as soon as next week or the week after. Thanks! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: DBT is absolutely THE THING for BPs. I have just attended a lecture on it. it has important concepts built into it that may not be always included in regular CBT, namely acceptance and validation. I can see from interactions with my daughter (and her reactions to various professionels) how important it is. Milena funnygirl1154@... wrote: In a message dated 5/13/2006 11:39:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, brigitte253@... writes: Also I have signed her up to do therapy at the DBT clinic in Seattle which will begin in 2 weeks...anybody have experience with that? ALL replies welcome.. A very concerned MOM...Thanks Great start w/the DBT clinic. I have heard good things about DBT. I hope this helps for your daughter. I never could find anyone around here that dealt with this. Heck, it took forever to even find a therapist who dealt with BPD. Good luck. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 Toni If you want to go straight to the source, you could get the book Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder, by Marsha M. Linehan, published by Guilford Press, ISBN 0-89862-034-1. The psychologist who works with my husband and me recommended that we read it not because we will ever be her counselors, but because the more we know how to respond as the manual says the more we can help Liz and ourselves. By the way, he is a great Christian guy! I hope this helps! Helen Eby _____ From: WTOParentsOfBPs [mailto:WTOParentsOfBPs ] On Behalf Of Toni P Sent: Friday, May 19, 2006 1:04 AM To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: DBT? Can someone tell us more about DBT other than who developed it? We plan on getting B into it as soon as next week or the week after. Thanks! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: DBT is absolutely THE THING for BPs. I have just attended a lecture on it. it has important concepts built into it that may not be always included in regular CBT, namely acceptance and validation. I can see from interactions with my daughter (and her reactions to various professionels) how important it is. Milena funnygirl1154@... wrote: In a message dated 5/13/2006 11:39:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, brigitte253@... writes: Also I have signed her up to do therapy at the DBT clinic in Seattle which will begin in 2 weeks...anybody have experience with that? ALL replies welcome.. A very concerned MOM...Thanks Great start w/the DBT clinic. I have heard good things about DBT. I hope this helps for your daughter. I never could find anyone around here that dealt with this. Heck, it took forever to even find a therapist who dealt with BPD. Good luck. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2006 Report Share Posted May 19, 2006 Toni, I have the handout from the lecture I've attended. If you want to send me your address I can mail it to you for a quick orientation. The presenter also reccomended to look at Internet for info. Milena Helen Eby dheby@...> wrote: Toni If you want to go straight to the source, you could get the book Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder, by Marsha M. Linehan, published by Guilford Press, ISBN 0-89862-034-1. The psychologist who works with my husband and me recommended that we read it not because we will ever be her counselors, but because the more we know how to respond as the manual says the more we can help Liz and ourselves. By the way, he is a great Christian guy! I hope this helps! Helen Eby _____ From: WTOParentsOfBPs [mailto:WTOParentsOfBPs ] On Behalf Of Toni P Sent: Friday, May 19, 2006 1:04 AM To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: DBT? Can someone tell us more about DBT other than who developed it? We plan on getting B into it as soon as next week or the week after. Thanks! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: DBT is absolutely THE THING for BPs. I have just attended a lecture on it. it has important concepts built into it that may not be always included in regular CBT, namely acceptance and validation. I can see from interactions with my daughter (and her reactions to various professionels) how important it is. Milena funnygirl1154@... wrote: In a message dated 5/13/2006 11:39:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, brigitte253@... writes: Also I have signed her up to do therapy at the DBT clinic in Seattle which will begin in 2 weeks...anybody have experience with that? ALL replies welcome.. A very concerned MOM...Thanks Great start w/the DBT clinic. I have heard good things about DBT. I hope this helps for your daughter. I never could find anyone around here that dealt with this. Heck, it took forever to even find a therapist who dealt with BPD. Good luck. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2006 Report Share Posted May 20, 2006 I'm an idiot: DBT terminology, not BPD! DEBORAH --- Deborah minamimuki2004@...> wrote: > Hi Toni, > > I found a site with some of the BPD terminology. __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 Milena- I expect to be doing an intake with the DBT clinic sometime this week. If I don't get what I need then, I'll let you know. Thank you for the offer! I may take you up on it! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: Toni, I have the handout from the lecture I've attended. If you want to send me your address I can mail it to you for a quick orientation. The presenter also reccomended to look at Internet for info. Milena Helen Eby dheby@...> wrote: Toni If you want to go straight to the source, you could get the book Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder, by Marsha M. Linehan, published by Guilford Press, ISBN 0-89862-034-1. The psychologist who works with my husband and me recommended that we read it not because we will ever be her counselors, but because the more we know how to respond as the manual says the more we can help Liz and ourselves. By the way, he is a great Christian guy! I hope this helps! Helen Eby _____ From: WTOParentsOfBPs [mailto:WTOParentsOfBPs ] On Behalf Of Toni P Sent: Friday, May 19, 2006 1:04 AM To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: DBT? Can someone tell us more about DBT other than who developed it? We plan on getting B into it as soon as next week or the week after. Thanks! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: DBT is absolutely THE THING for BPs. I have just attended a lecture on it. it has important concepts built into it that may not be always included in regular CBT, namely acceptance and validation. I can see from interactions with my daughter (and her reactions to various professionels) how important it is. Milena funnygirl1154@... wrote: In a message dated 5/13/2006 11:39:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, brigitte253@... writes: Also I have signed her up to do therapy at the DBT clinic in Seattle which will begin in 2 weeks...anybody have experience with that? ALL replies welcome.. A very concerned MOM...Thanks Great start w/the DBT clinic. I have heard good things about DBT. I hope this helps for your daughter. I never could find anyone around here that dealt with this. Heck, it took forever to even find a therapist who dealt with BPD. Good luck. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 Toni, I made the copy and put it in the envelope, plan to mail it tomorrow (Monday). I am sure you will get all the info you need, but it cannot hurt to have more. Hope the clinic will work for you. My d. just spent two days in bed, reading - only sneaks downstairs to get something to eat. That after we signed the contract on Friday which specifies one activity every day and getting out of the house every day. GRRRH! I am going to take her to task tonight. Milena Toni P hephzeba2001@...> wrote: Milena- I expect to be doing an intake with the DBT clinic sometime this week. If I don't get what I need then, I'll let you know. Thank you for the offer! I may take you up on it! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: Toni, I have the handout from the lecture I've attended. If you want to send me your address I can mail it to you for a quick orientation. The presenter also reccomended to look at Internet for info. Milena Helen Eby dheby@...> wrote: Toni If you want to go straight to the source, you could get the book Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder, by Marsha M. Linehan, published by Guilford Press, ISBN 0-89862-034-1. The psychologist who works with my husband and me recommended that we read it not because we will ever be her counselors, but because the more we know how to respond as the manual says the more we can help Liz and ourselves. By the way, he is a great Christian guy! I hope this helps! Helen Eby _____ From: WTOParentsOfBPs [mailto:WTOParentsOfBPs ] On Behalf Of Toni P Sent: Friday, May 19, 2006 1:04 AM To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: DBT? Can someone tell us more about DBT other than who developed it? We plan on getting B into it as soon as next week or the week after. Thanks! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: DBT is absolutely THE THING for BPs. I have just attended a lecture on it. it has important concepts built into it that may not be always included in regular CBT, namely acceptance and validation. I can see from interactions with my daughter (and her reactions to various professionels) how important it is. Milena funnygirl1154@... wrote: In a message dated 5/13/2006 11:39:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, brigitte253@... writes: Also I have signed her up to do therapy at the DBT clinic in Seattle which will begin in 2 weeks...anybody have experience with that? ALL replies welcome.. A very concerned MOM...Thanks Great start w/the DBT clinic. I have heard good things about DBT. I hope this helps for your daughter. I never could find anyone around here that dealt with this. Heck, it took forever to even find a therapist who dealt with BPD. Good luck. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 My bpd had a guy in the house while we were gone last night. We come home unexpectedly early and surprised them at an inopportune moment (for them, not for us!). I don't think they did much, but then, only they do. I guess I'll be going to get her checked for STD's next week. Just to be on the safe side and to attempt to drive home a point. If you're gonna make adult decisions, you're gonna have to accept adult consequences. I'll send you my addy in a separate email. Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: Toni, I made the copy and put it in the envelope, plan to mail it tomorrow (Monday). I am sure you will get all the info you need, but it cannot hurt to have more. Hope the clinic will work for you. My d. just spent two days in bed, reading - only sneaks downstairs to get something to eat. That after we signed the contract on Friday which specifies one activity every day and getting out of the house every day. GRRRH! I am going to take her to task tonight. Milena Toni P hephzeba2001@...> wrote: Milena- I expect to be doing an intake with the DBT clinic sometime this week. If I don't get what I need then, I'll let you know. Thank you for the offer! I may take you up on it! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: Toni, I have the handout from the lecture I've attended. If you want to send me your address I can mail it to you for a quick orientation. The presenter also reccomended to look at Internet for info. Milena Helen Eby dheby@...> wrote: Toni If you want to go straight to the source, you could get the book Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder, by Marsha M. Linehan, published by Guilford Press, ISBN 0-89862-034-1. The psychologist who works with my husband and me recommended that we read it not because we will ever be her counselors, but because the more we know how to respond as the manual says the more we can help Liz and ourselves. By the way, he is a great Christian guy! I hope this helps! Helen Eby _____ From: WTOParentsOfBPs [mailto:WTOParentsOfBPs ] On Behalf Of Toni P Sent: Friday, May 19, 2006 1:04 AM To: WTOParentsOfBPs Subject: Re: DBT? Can someone tell us more about DBT other than who developed it? We plan on getting B into it as soon as next week or the week after. Thanks! Toni Milena milenaoh@...> wrote: DBT is absolutely THE THING for BPs. I have just attended a lecture on it. it has important concepts built into it that may not be always included in regular CBT, namely acceptance and validation. I can see from interactions with my daughter (and her reactions to various professionels) how important it is. Milena funnygirl1154@... wrote: In a message dated 5/13/2006 11:39:48 AM Eastern Standard Time, brigitte253@... writes: Also I have signed her up to do therapy at the DBT clinic in Seattle which will begin in 2 weeks...anybody have experience with that? ALL replies welcome.. A very concerned MOM...Thanks Great start w/the DBT clinic. I have heard good things about DBT. I hope this helps for your daughter. I never could find anyone around here that dealt with this. Heck, it took forever to even find a therapist who dealt with BPD. Good luck. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 You're having a hard time, but personally I like your choices: eat what you like when everyone's done but clean up, clothing is fine as along as pertinent skin is covered and you can breathe, ignore the mascara, and letting her room go until she has ants. (Since she's had an unfortunate incident, I wouldn't do the reward system too soon.) And you're gearing up for DBT. Go for it! Cheering and hanging out banners, Deborah > She is trying to freak us out with her clothing > choices. However, we decided when she was young to > stay out of the clothing battle as long as all > pertinant skin was covered and she could breath. But > I have begun to hate black! And the eye makeup! The > Egyptians could take lessons from her in eyeliner!! > EEEKKK!! As a former skin care consultant, I am > creating more scars on my tongue trying to keep my > mouth shut. So far, all I've said is " I don't think > you'll be able to get a job with that makeup. " > Sheesh! > > Gotta laugh or we'll all be on the wrong side of > the grass. . . . > Toni > > bosoxfan199@... wrote: > Toni, > > I was where you're at. You still have your beliefs > -- and it's ok to let your daughter know that. > Eventually, she'll turn around. > > Is she going to counseling. You may need help > getting her to school. Perhaps that's one of the > arrangements in the contract. I had to go to school, > get an IED plan for my daughter to keep her there as > she was cutting classes and never coming home. She > did graduate from high school but did not go on to > college. During the period she was in the hospital > and transitioning, she was tutored. > > Carol > > > --------- Re: DBT? > > > > > > Toni, > > > > I will be happy to send you the handout though I > do not think it will be > > very useful in your situation. It is just the > outline of main principles. I > > have not read the book but I can see how she could > have received such > > advice. Would one day of missing school be so bad? > We all feel the need to > > goof off once in a while. I think the important > point is that it is just a > > once in a while and the persistent pattern (of > staying in bed) is getting > > modified and overcome in the long run. > > I myself have been depressed most of my adult > life. It was dysthimya; I > > never had any treatment except what I had devised > myself. I also never > > skipped a day of work because of it or stayed in > bed when I was a housewife > > with a family to care for. Anyway - I realized > just recently that long after > > my depression went to remmission (with the onset > of the menopause) and when > > I was living by myself again I had a really hard > time getting up in the > > morning. I was solving it by reading in bed and > sometimes I did not get up > > untill noon. > > What I am trying to say is that was ingrained > behaviors are very hard to > > break. It does take an conscious effort and even > then one does not succeed > > all the time. It is also important not to beat > oneself over the head when > > the slips occur - it actually makes the situation > worse. > > Good luck to you, Toni. > > > > Milena > > > > " Toni.Potterton " wrote: > > Hello Milena, > > I am in England with a BP daughter and I don't > often post but I read this > > log every day. It has been the only thing I have > had to hang onto in times > > of challenge. The advice and suggestions have been > invaluable in keeping me > > sane over the years. > > > > I hope you don't mind me asking but I would love > to see a copy of the notes > > on BP you got at the lecture. My daughter is 3/4 > way thru DBT and it is > > quite frustrating in some ways . She has > definitely improved (good) but she > > has new techniques to confuse me with (bad) > Yesterday she refused to get up > > and go to college and when I went thru my usual > review of the contract and > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 In a message dated 5/23/2006 6:14:38 PM Eastern Standard Time, hephzeba2001@... writes: So far, all I've said is " I don't think you'll be able to get a job with that makeup. " Sheesh! Toni, I learned a long time ago, ignore it and it will go away. The less I said anything to my daughter about her clothes or look, the less she tried to " push my buttons " by wearing such things. DebbieL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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