Re: Re: Liz - Daughter's boyfriend

[Guest guest]

Blondie, I too had a similar experience with my daughter's boyfriend and in

hindsight I too would do things differently. I also got caught up in trying to

help the boyfriend--according to my daughter he was homeless, unable to work,

special ed., diabetic, also a felon with a poor attitude. My husband and I

helped him get and furnish an apartment, took him back and forth to his job at

Sonic, got him a cell phone, tried to help him live a normal life. When all the

time our daughter was going down the tube associating with him and trying to

help this dirtbag. The outcome almost three years later: he beat our daughter

up, she got pregnant and she has recently gotten an abortion. He's in jail

AGAIN. Why did we spend so much time and money trying to help him when we can't

even help our daughter! gab

Re: Liz - Daughter's boyfriend

Liz ,Hi. I knew that I missed someone with a reply that I wanted to send

out. It was you.

I hope this doesn't offend you, what I am going to say, but your story with

your daughter sounds so similar to mine when she was that age that I just

have to write you. I reviewed some of your former posts, and your situation

is

even similar to what mine was... ie: single mom, etc.

Anyhow - what I want to say is... my daughter was very sneaky and

manipulative. I see now, you are trying to help her boyfriend. What a

wonderful sweet

person you must be to care about kids in general, and try to help him, just

because he is a kid in need.

But what I am trying to say is - if this were my situation looking back, I

would recognize what was going on in hindsight. Mine would create this huge

drama to pull me into it. (She succeeded sometimes). Then I would be

putting

my energy and heart into helping rectify some situation that really had

nothing to do with our family. They try to get us to focus on something

other

than their actions, deeds, words, etc. so that it keeps us running around

like

a chicken with our head cut off. Does that make any sense to you? This is

what I see as an outside observer here. Bless your heart, you have your

hands full with your daughter, and here you are trying to help someone else's

child, that apparently they have their hands full also. Remember, too, that

our

daughters lie. She might have fed you full of things that are either not

true, or elaborated greatly on things with the boyfriends' home situation.

Again, I'm not trying to offend. Because I care is why I write.

And because maybe you are like I used to be - easily sidetracked, when I

needed all my focus for my errant daughter.

Hugs and blessings Liz! I'm thinking about you!

Blondie

In a message dated 3/29/2006 4:20:51 P.M. Central Standard Time,

harmjosh3@... writes:

I just wanted to say hello to everyone.My daughter was very upset

yesterday over her boyfriend but she knows now that he is ok. He still

needs a home and a job but a friend and I are helping him find one. I

hope everyone in the group is doing good.

Liz

[Guest guest]

My daughter did this too - much drama and tears about her needy boyfriend. To

listen to her the whole world not just his family was against him. We felt

sorry for him and spent much time and lots of $$$$ helping him out. Didn't help

he is still a loser - he is the bio father of the grandson we are raising and of

course he swears he is not his father and has nothing to do with him. Now when

I look back I too wonder why we did all this and I'm sure alot of what she told

us was probably lies.

TxCoastGal@... wrote:

Liz ,Hi. I knew that I missed someone with a reply that I wanted to send

out. It was you.

I hope this doesn't offend you, what I am going to say, but your story with

your daughter sounds so similar to mine when she was that age that I just

have to write you. I reviewed some of your former posts, and your situation is

even similar to what mine was... ie: single mom, etc.

Anyhow - what I want to say is... my daughter was very sneaky and

manipulative. I see now, you are trying to help her boyfriend. What a

wonderful sweet

person you must be to care about kids in general, and try to help him, just

because he is a kid in need.

But what I am trying to say is - if this were my situation looking back, I

would recognize what was going on in hindsight. Mine would create this huge

drama to pull me into it. (She succeeded sometimes). Then I would be putting

my energy and heart into helping rectify some situation that really had

nothing to do with our family. They try to get us to focus on something other

than their actions, deeds, words, etc. so that it keeps us running around like

a chicken with our head cut off. Does that make any sense to you? This is

what I see as an outside observer here. Bless your heart, you have your

hands full with your daughter, and here you are trying to help someone else's

child, that apparently they have their hands full also. Remember, too, that

our

daughters lie. She might have fed you full of things that are either not

true, or elaborated greatly on things with the boyfriends' home situation.

Again, I'm not trying to offend. Because I care is why I write.

And because maybe you are like I used to be - easily sidetracked, when I

needed all my focus for my errant daughter.

Hugs and blessings Liz! I'm thinking about you!

Blondie

In a message dated 3/29/2006 4:20:51 P.M. Central Standard Time,

harmjosh3@... writes:

I just wanted to say hello to everyone.My daughter was very upset

yesterday over her boyfriend but she knows now that he is ok. He still

needs a home and a job but a friend and I are helping him find one. I

hope everyone in the group is doing good.

Liz