Re: New to Oz/Welcome donder

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/7/2006 10:09:51 AM Eastern Standard Time,

donderleigh@... writes:

No matter how bad things are when she

comes home, how do we turn our child out into the street?? Does the

manipulation ever end?

Hello donderleigh and Welcome!

How old is your daughter? I just posted a reply to newbie Timi. It says it

all and it can apply to your situation too. You can reply to my post to her

also.

Good luck and Hugs to all,

DebbieL

[Guest guest]

I believe that there comes a time when we need to stop thinking of them as 'our

child' and think of them as adults who are responsible for their own choices

and actions. We can't rescue them forever. What happens when we die? who will

rescue them then?

funnygirl1154@... wrote:

In a message dated 3/7/2006 10:09:51 AM Eastern Standard Time,

donderleigh@... writes:

No matter how bad things are when she

comes home, how do we turn our child out into the street?? Does the

manipulation ever end?

Hello donderleigh and Welcome!

How old is your daughter? I just posted a reply to newbie Timi. It says it

all and it can apply to your situation too. You can reply to my post to her

also.

Good luck and Hugs to all,

DebbieL

[Guest guest]

She is going to be 21 this August. I realize that a huge part of

our problem is my husband, her father. He doesn't seem to

understand how he is enabling my stepdaughter, & he is not at the

point where he's able to see how his actions/reactions to her affect

our entire family.

So far, I've read SWOE & I've done the workbook. I've read a book

on boundaries, tons of other online resources, & I'm trying to

utilize this online support group. My husband has not (to my

knowledge) read anything on BPD, other than the definition the

mental health facility gave us. It's like fighting two battles at

once. On one side I'm trying to work through the situations my

stepdaughter forces me into, on the other side I'm fighting my

husband re: his idea that I'm " too hard on her " , or that I " expect

too much " . To make matters worse, my younger stepdaughter (17) has

BPD traits/tendencies, but my husband thinks she walks on water &

does no wrong! I love my husband, but this feels like I'm living in

a nightmare! I was told by a good friend that I needed to remember

that my husband & marriage had to be my top priority since we took

vows of till death do us part. I feel though like what good is it

to think that way if he does not?

>

> In a message dated 3/7/2006 10:09:51 AM Eastern Standard Time,

> donderleigh@... writes:

> No matter how bad things are when she

> comes home, how do we turn our child out into the street?? Does

the

> manipulation ever end?

> Hello donderleigh and Welcome!

>

> How old is your daughter? I just posted a reply to newbie Timi.

It says it

> all and it can apply to your situation too. You can reply to my

post to her

> also.

>

> Good luck and Hugs to all,

> DebbieL

>

>

>