Can folks with BPD love people

[Guest guest]

Thanks for answering my question. I guess I find it hard to believe

my daughter loves me since she wants nothing to do with me. ANd then I

remembered what she said last year about not feeling like she loved anyone. I

know she " NEEDS " people around her to feel whole, but I guess I do wonder if

she

actually loves anyone.

I am also wondering if I am any longer capable of loving her. My counselor

says I should just write her off till she gets counseling and can come to me

and be a genuine human being, because even though she doesn't talk to me, I

am allowing myself to continually wonder how she can be so hateful toward her

own mother. And this is not doing me any good.

But then I remember " metal illness' and I guess it all falls into

perspective, but it still pains me greatly.

Jean

[Guest guest]

I am an unrecovered person with BPD and the answer to that question

is yes.... I love my children very much... and I loved their father

very much....... I have had my own problems with this disorder but I

do believe there are varying degrees of syptoms and intensity also..

My son is much more of a con with his syptoms he mulnipulates more

and is very good at it.. I had him in counsling for yrs and he could

con or snow the best of the best untill I found one he could not

snow.. At 16 i had him put in a hospital and he cried and fought to

get out... when he was finally let out 6 wks later he cried to

stay ... He is also bi-polar just as myself... He is 31 divorced an

has two children that I raised for 3 years... he an gf has new baby

8 months old and I will not be put in that position again.. I had

had the oldest one for over 3 years when he just came and got her

for her birthday and did not return her. since I only had physical

custody I could do nothing. This was so heart breaking. and

triggered my own BPD again..,,,MY youngest is 21 and is hear because

she got into trouble with the law and we paid her fines for her and

are trying to get her into Job corp.. it is a federal program... she

has court on the 13 of this month....this is her last help from

myself and the family because I cant do this alone any more...she is

very munipulative also and has no respect for anyone esle I do

truely believe they both love me but as a mother I maybe conned

also.. I do no what it feels like to feel that no one loves you or

understands you...they are alot like me therefor I guess I have more

compassion for them know and experiencing how they feel ... I also

have a 27 year old daughter that thank god does not seem to have all

the problems we have. she is the most loveing and kindest mother I

know of.... she has had her problems to but thankfully BPD is not

one of them... sorrry for going on and on ... teresa

[Guest guest]

---it sounds like you have done a good job in raising self

awareness and developing skills to function and love others. It

certainly gives me a sense of hope in hearing from someone such as

yourself. My deepest regards for the sudden removal of your gchild--

this seems so unjust especially for the child. If you don't mind my

asking--Why do you think he took her so abruptly? How long has it

been?

> I am an unrecovered person with BPD and the answer to that question

> is yes.... I love my children very much... and I loved their father

> very much....... I have had my own problems with this disorder but

I

> do believe there are varying degrees of syptoms and intensity

also..

> My son is much more of a con with his syptoms he mulnipulates more

> and is very good at it.. I had him in counsling for yrs and he

could

> con or snow the best of the best untill I found one he could not

> snow.. At 16 i had him put in a hospital and he cried and fought to

> get out... when he was finally let out 6 wks later he cried to

> stay ... He is also bi-polar just as myself... He is 31 divorced an

> has two children that I raised for 3 years... he an gf has new baby

> 8 months old and I will not be put in that position again.. I had

> had the oldest one for over 3 years when he just came and got her

> for her birthday and did not return her. since I only had physical

> custody I could do nothing. This was so heart breaking. and

> triggered my own BPD again..,,,MY youngest is 21 and is hear

because

> she got into trouble with the law and we paid her fines for her and

> are trying to get her into Job corp.. it is a federal program...

she

> has court on the 13 of this month....this is her last help from

> myself and the family because I cant do this alone any more...she

is

> very munipulative also and has no respect for anyone esle I do

> truely believe they both love me but as a mother I maybe conned

> also.. I do no what it feels like to feel that no one loves you or

> understands you...they are alot like me therefor I guess I have

more

> compassion for them know and experiencing how they feel ... I also

> have a 27 year old daughter that thank god does not seem to have

all

> the problems we have. she is the most loveing and kindest mother I

> know of.... she has had her problems to but thankfully BPD is not

> one of them... sorrry for going on and on ... teresa