Summer Border-Lines: BPD Article in Oprah Magazine

[Guest guest]

Summer Border-Lines

News About Borderline Personality Disorder for Family Members with a

Borderline Loved One

Published by Randi Kreger, Director of BPDCentral.com and the

Welcome to Oz Online Community for Family Members of a Borderline

Loved One

In This Issue:

---BPD article in " O " magazine

---New 3-step BP support technique

---Other recent publicity

---New study recommends early diagnosis

ARTICLE IN " O " MAGAZINE INCREASES VISIBILITY ABOUT BPD

It isn't the same as getting a segment about BPD on Oprah's

television show, but it's the next best thing. The August issue

of " O, " Oprah's monthly magazine, contains a feature article about

Borderline Personality Disorder. The article, titled " Women on the

Edge, " begins:

" She's the friend who calls you frantically at 3 am with her

latest crisis…the roommate you once found pulling out her own

eyelashes…the stranger having a complete meltdown in the checkout

line. The problem is called Borderline Personality Disorder, it

affects mostly women, and until recently it was considered difficult

to treat. "

The article focuses on a promising cognitive behavioral treatment

called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Developed by Marsha

Linehan, PhD, of the University of Washington, it is geared for low-

functioning, acting-in borderline patients who engage in frequent

self-injurious behavior and suicidal impulses.

According to the article, on the strength of seven studies

demonstrating its usefulness, the mental health systems of 15 states

have incorporated DBT into their array of treatment. Linehan says

that 3,700 therapists have passed through her DBT training course

(see behavioraltech.org for a listing).

In a sidebar, Linehan offers these suggestions for family members:

--If your family member constantly calls for reassurance, be

empathetic while respecting your own limits.

--If you become the target of his or her anger and you feel it's

unjustified or excessive, don't fight back. Instead, gently

withdraw.

Later, say " When you do X, I feel Y. And I would like you to stop. "

If you do this consistently, eventually it may make a difference.

CLINICIAN ADVANCES " THREE R'S " COMMUNICATION SYSTEM

According to Harriet P. Lefley, Ph.D, a technique called the " three

R's " --Recognizing, Resisting, and Reconstructing—-may help you

support the BP (a person either diagnosed with BPD or is undiagnosed

but has BPD traits) in your life while paving the way for you to set

your own limits. Her suggestions are based on her experiences with

lower-functioning offspring.

She explains the technique in a chapter of a new clinically-based

book about BPD, " Understanding and Treating Borderline Personality

Disorder " (American Psychiatric Press, 2005).

The three R's stand for:

* RECOGNIZE that the BP (person with BPD or BPD traits) lives in a

world of distorted mirrors. Parents and their BP children have

vastly different perceptions of reality. You may, she says, feel

harassed, accused or threatened. But your borderline family member

feels that he or she is the victim of your perceived inability to

recognize and honor their pressing needs.

* RESIST getting drawn into their swirling emotionality triggered by

your refusal to give into inappropriate demands. When the BP acts

out outrageously, she says, it's natural to want to fight back. But

it's the wrong move. If you can keep your cool—maintain your

boundaries and refuse to be provoked into anger, criticism, and

rejection—you can help the BP calm themselves down. This creates a

win-win situation.

* RECONSTRUCT the relationship, in part by learning how to deal with

verbal abuse, forming your own support system (see below), and

appreciating that your rights must also be respected.

This is all much easier said than done, of course. See chapters six

(Understanding Your Situation) and seven (Asserting Your Needs)

of " Stop Walking on Eggshells " (Kreger & Mason) and the " Stop

Walking on Eggshells Workbook " for step-by-step suggestions of how

to do this.

A cornerstone of your support system can be the Welcome to Oz online

support group for parents. To join, send an empty email to

WTOParentsOfBPs-subscribe@Y...

For more information about the book " Understanding and Treating

Borderline Personality Disorder, " go to NEABPD.org

PUBLICITY ABOUT BPD IS INCREASING

In the past few month, several newspapers and magazines around the

world have run articles about lower-functioning, acting-in BPs.

Almost all are tied to other mental health problems ('comorbid " )

such as eating disorders, cutting, and suicide. Articles include:

-- " The Cruelest Cut, " an article about self-mutilation in the May 16

issue of TIME Magazine, discussed DBT as an important treatment for

BP teens who practice self-mutilation. This activity (or at least

the discussion of it) seems to be becoming more widespread. In some

circles of teens, cutting has even become a " cool " thing to do.

--An article in an Australian newspaper linking domestic violence,

substance abuse and mental health problems. Dr. Mark Sachmann

presented research on the role of borderline personality disorder as

a possible risk factor in perpetrators of domestic violence.

Sachmann proposes that domestic violence is related to " disorganized

and controlling attachment relationships, " and that BPs who become

dependent on their partners can " rapidly become hostile when the

caregiver fails to deliver everything the individual with BPD

wants. "

(For more information about coping with a BP partner who is also a

domestic abuser, there is a large section in the booklet Love and

Loathing: Protecting Your Mental Health and Legal Rights When Your

Partner Has BPD. It is not available in bookstores, only through

BPDCentral.com or by calling 1-888-35-SHELL).

--The May 9 Kokomo (IN) Tribune included an article about a

recovering woman with BPD who now works part time as the state

consumer program director for the National Alliance for the Mentally

Ill. It is a hopeful story of a woman's recovery from the disorder,

and how she was able to use her strengths to help other patients.

In the article, she shares one of the ways she copes with the urge

to cut. " When I feel disassociated, listening to my heartbeat makes

me feel alive. Acceptance that I have a mental illness is a daily

struggle. " She also says she tries to focus on the present.

-- " Early diagnosis 'best' in personality disorder, " which appeared

in the January 9 2005 issue of " The Age " (in Australia), interviewed

Clinician Chanen, who makes the case that a preliminary study

shows that early intervention could dramatically improve the lives

of people with borderline personality disorder and help relieve

pressure on hospital emergency departments.

Preliminary results of the two-year study, comparing " historically

ad hoc treatment " with new, structured programs, examined the effect

of early intervention on adolescent sufferers.

Diagnosing the disorder in young people was contentious, Dr Chanen

said. " People say that personality is still developing in

teenagers. " We've demonstrated it is no less stable than it is in

young adults. Either you make the diagnosis early or you wait until

people are 40 or 50 and the damage is done. " See www.theage.com.au

-----The information contained in this newsletter is for your

information only. The content of articles is not necessarily

endorsed by Randi Kreger, BPDCentral, or the Welcome to Oz Online

Community for Family Members with a BP Loved One.

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