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Hi! My name is Lulu, I'm new to the group. I have been reading all of your

posts for some time now. This is the first time I have posted to the group. I

look forward to getting support from you all and giving mine as well. I was

dx in May of this year with a lot of symptoms. I'm 34

years old, married to Jr.for 10 yrs we have two children lll 8

yrs and Ellen 6 yrs. I had my Mri at Manhasset Diagnostics and Cat Scans done

at North Shore University on 11/29/02. I have my neurological exam today

12/02/02 at 8:30 am with Dr.Haimovic and my consult with Dr. M and Dr. B at

12:30 pm. I am happy to be at this point. I will post what I find out today

at my visit.

Thank You all for your support. Lulu

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  • 3 years later...
Guest guest

In a message dated 6/7/2006 12:28:12 PM Eastern Standard Time,

geargirl68@... writes:

All continues to go well here-week # 4 and counting. My daughter has also

started to work part time at a local take-out/ice cream place and is doing fine

on that front as well. I really feel like I'm am getting my little girl back

more as each day passes. I really think the combination of DBT, my therapy, the

suggestions from everyone here, setting up my agreements and expectations, the

changes in medication and the timing has helped tremendously. A lot of hard

work and consistency is really beginning to pay off. A whole month-pinch me!

Well Hello ! And kudos to you on your victories, small as they may be.

I am proud of you and happy for your daughter. Keep up the good work and

hoping all continues on an uphill climb! Doesn't it feel great? I've got

chills

for you and remembering what it felt like getting my daughter back.

Hugs,

DebbieL

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funnygirl1154@... wrote: In a message dated 6/7/2006 12:28:12 PM

Eastern Standard Time,

geargirl68@... writes:

All continues to go well here-week # 4 and counting. My daughter has also

started to work part time at a local take-out/ice cream place and is doing fine

on that front as well. I really feel like I'm am getting my little girl back

more as each day passes. I really think the combination of DBT, my therapy, the

suggestions from everyone here, setting up my agreements and expectations, the

changes in medication and the timing has helped tremendously. A lot of hard

work and consistency is really beginning to pay off. A whole month-pinch me!

Well Hello ! And kudos to you on your victories, small as they may be.

I am proud of you and happy for your daughter. Keep up the good work and

hoping all continues on an uphill climb! Doesn't it feel great? I've got chills

for you and remembering what it felt like getting my daughter back.

Hugs,

DebbieL

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Donna

Welcome to our group. I am sure you will find comfort and support here.

How old is the guy who your daughter is living with? Are they both working?

Have they both completed high school, GED?

She seems excited about the baby. Why do you think she will be abusive?

Plenty of kids have babies even younger than your daughter and put their lives

back together. If she is not asking for help from you, it would appear she

is showing some signs of taking responsibility.

What was she doing that you made her see a therapist? Was she abusive to you

or your husband?

Jean

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Hi Donna,

I also have a daughter that is 17. You may be able to apply for a

CHINS (child in need of services). We have a chins in place and if

my daughter runs away again the state will have her locked up in a

residential group home until she is 18. Call your local police

department for the address to you local juvenille court and ask to

see a probation officer. They will explain what to do. My daughter

has been picked up twice for running and has missed so much school

that she needs to make up work or she will not pass the 10th grade.

Good luck and I will pray for you too.

>

> I am new to this website and look forward to getting any advice

> possible. My 17 (soon to be 18) year old daughter has BPD and my

> husband and I bought three books that her therapist recommended to

us

> and we are trying to learn as much as possible. Here is the

problem.

> She left our home back on January 8 and said she was never coming

> back...and she hasn't. Because of her age (17) we couldn't make

her

> return. She moved in with a guy that she was forbidden to see and

now

> she is 23 weeks pregnant and we are terrified for her. She stopped

> seeing her therapist when she moved out and in order for her father

> and I to cope, we started seeing the same therapist. She told us

that

> she is extremely concerned that will be abusive when the

baby

> comes...I said the same thing when we found out she was pregnant.

We

> are terrified for her and especially for the baby but we don't know

> what to do...other than prayer...and we do that daily. Has anyone

> else been through this? We hardly ever see her but when we do hear

> from her she acts as though nothing wrong has happened, she can't

> understand why we aren't excited for her.

>

> Donna

>

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Thanks but she turns 18 on June 16. I wish we had known this sooner. So much

more to say but no time right now. Will write more tomorrow.

Donna

kaknits1 jkldski4@...> wrote:

Hi Donna,

I also have a daughter that is 17. You may be able to apply for a

CHINS (child in need of services). We have a chins in place and if

my daughter runs away again the state will have her locked up in a

residential group home until she is 18. Call your local police

department for the address to you local juvenille court and ask to

see a probation officer. They will explain what to do. My daughter

has been picked up twice for running and has missed so much school

that she needs to make up work or she will not pass the 10th grade.

Good luck and I will pray for you too.

>

> I am new to this website and look forward to getting any advice

> possible. My 17 (soon to be 18) year old daughter has BPD and my

> husband and I bought three books that her therapist recommended to

us

> and we are trying to learn as much as possible. Here is the

problem.

> She left our home back on January 8 and said she was never coming

> back...and she hasn't. Because of her age (17) we couldn't make

her

> return. She moved in with a guy that she was forbidden to see and

now

> she is 23 weeks pregnant and we are terrified for her. She stopped

> seeing her therapist when she moved out and in order for her father

> and I to cope, we started seeing the same therapist. She told us

that

> she is extremely concerned that will be abusive when the

baby

> comes...I said the same thing when we found out she was pregnant.

We

> are terrified for her and especially for the baby but we don't know

> what to do...other than prayer...and we do that daily. Has anyone

> else been through this? We hardly ever see her but when we do hear

> from her she acts as though nothing wrong has happened, she can't

> understand why we aren't excited for her.

>

> Donna

>

__________________________________________________

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Hello Jean,

It is all a very long story but I will try to keep it as short as

possible. Just over a year and a half ago, 's school

counselor (we attend church with him so we know him really well)

called my husband at work and informed him that had been

cutting herself. When my husband called and told me, I had no idea

what he was talking about. I had never heard of someone cutting

themselves. We both took off work and went and picked her up from

school. When we got home, I started calling around trying to find

someone...anyone...to get her in to see about it. I finally reached

someone at a crisis center and we were told to bring her in right

away. We got there and we were talked to and then she was talked to

then the counselor told us that she was severly depressed and they

were advising she be admitted to a hospital for treatment. We were

given several choices of hospitals in larger cities to take her to.

We picked one and off we went. She was admitted that night and

stayed for a week. Before she could be released, we had to have an

appointment with a therapist and a doctor that could treat her. She

was seeing the therapist and really making progress until this guy

stepped into the picture (by the way, he was 19 at the time and is

20 now). To answer your question, yes, she has been physical with

my husband (kicking, hitting, etc). There were several times that I

almost called the sheriffs department to have them come pick her up,

but my pride wouldn't let me. She has always been closer to her dad

than to me. I have always been the one to take her verbal abuse and

now I find myself afraid to even try to contact her...I let my

husband get in touch with her for me. Believe me, I have tried to

reach out to her, but... She does not work and he works part-time

making $6.50 an hour. They buy stuff like they have nothing else to

spend the money on. Their phone has been cut off yet they can

afford to buy an entertainment center. They can't afford to run the

air conditioner (we live in a HOT southern state)yet they can afford

to have Direct TV hooked up. It goes on and on.

Donna

>

> Donna

>

> Welcome to our group. I am sure you will find comfort and

support here.

>

> How old is the guy who your daughter is living with? Are they

both working?

> Have they both completed high school, GED?

>

> She seems excited about the baby. Why do you think she will be

abusive?

> Plenty of kids have babies even younger than your daughter and

put their lives

> back together. If she is not asking for help from you, it would

appear she

> is showing some signs of taking responsibility.

>

> What was she doing that you made her see a therapist? Was she

abusive to you

> or your husband?

>

> Jean

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Donna,

the doctor will not talk to you but you can talk to him. Call or request an

appointment. Don't let them brush you off. Or fax a letter to him if you cannot

get past the office staff. Then tell him your observations; that she left your

home. Stopped taking the meds and that you have observed the difference. That

she is not seeing the therapist and that she is pregnant.Don't tell him any of

your opinions or what you THINK she does, would do or could do. Just the facts.

Make sure he will make notes. Actually, write it down and give it to him. That

way, with any other development (e.g. her regular doctor contacts him, or she is

hospitalized, or you are involved in any other way) he will have some up-to-date

information.

I know very well the feeling about running into the brick walls and not being

listened to. Also the problem with the boyfriend. My d. is 33, currently with

me. She lived with the boyfriend who enables her for the past 4 years.

Fortunately no children. She very much wants to get back with him. If she does

the cycle will repeat itself but there is not much I can do about it.

Milena

Donna Shelton nlslovesme@...> wrote:

She is seeing a doctor with her pregnancy but not with the depression.

She was seeing a child psychiatrist but when she left our home, back in January,

she has not been back to him...or her therapist. She was on medication before

she left but she said that it didn't help. We could sure see a difference when

she wasn't taking it. In fact, we knew when she had stopped taking it just by

the way she acted towards us. I really don't know what all she has told her

doctor. I can't find out because of the doctor/patient confidentiality. It is

all so frustrating. I feel like we run into a brick wall with every turn we

make.

Donna

Jamal Jilao somalitamale@...> wrote:

Hi, welcome to the group. My daughter raged, rarely does now but keeps it more

in check. I guess I would be worried too, after she has the babies her hormones

are going to go whacko and could really affect her depression. Will she even

talk about this? Is she seeing a doctor throughout the pregancy. It is something

her doctor should know about. I've been there, it's ugly.

It seems that this is all out of your hands, but not out of your heart. That's

the hard part. Keep up with this group, they are a Godsend.

nlslovesme nlslovesme@...> wrote: Hello Jean,

It is all a very long story but I will try to keep it as short as

possible. Just over a year and a half ago, 's school

counselor (we attend church with him so we know him really well)

called my husband at work and informed him that had been

cutting herself. When my husband called and told me, I had no idea

what he was talking about. I had never heard of someone cutting

themselves. We both took off work and went and picked her up from

school. When we got home, I started calling around trying to find

someone...anyone...to get her in to see about it. I finally reached

someone at a crisis center and we were told to bring her in right

away. We got there and we were talked to and then she was talked to

then the counselor told us that she was severly depressed and they

were advising she be admitted to a hospital for treatment. We were

given several choices of hospitals in larger cities to take her to.

We picked one and off we went. She was admitted that night and

stayed for a week. Before she could be released, we had to have an

appointment with a therapist and a doctor that could treat her. She

was seeing the therapist and really making progress until this guy

stepped into the picture (by the way, he was 19 at the time and is

20 now). To answer your question, yes, she has been physical with

my husband (kicking, hitting, etc). There were several times that I

almost called the sheriffs department to have them come pick her up,

but my pride wouldn't let me. She has always been closer to her dad

than to me. I have always been the one to take her verbal abuse and

now I find myself afraid to even try to contact her...I let my

husband get in touch with her for me. Believe me, I have tried to

reach out to her, but... She does not work and he works part-time

making $6.50 an hour. They buy stuff like they have nothing else to

spend the money on. Their phone has been cut off yet they can

afford to buy an entertainment center. They can't afford to run the

air conditioner (we live in a HOT southern state)yet they can afford

to have Direct TV hooked up. It goes on and on.

Donna

>

> Donna

>

> Welcome to our group. I am sure you will find comfort and

support here.

>

> How old is the guy who your daughter is living with? Are they

both working?

> Have they both completed high school, GED?

>

> She seems excited about the baby. Why do you think she will be

abusive?

> Plenty of kids have babies even younger than your daughter and

put their lives

> back together. If she is not asking for help from you, it would

appear she

> is showing some signs of taking responsibility.

>

> What was she doing that you made her see a therapist? Was she

abusive to you

> or your husband?

>

> Jean

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Hi

Welcome to our group. It sounds like you have things pretty much under

control. Your ex husband who refers to his own children as " trainwrecks "

sounds

quite " charming " ---quite the " piece of work " . You have my sympathy where HE

is concerned.

Jean

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Guest guest

Hi,

Welcome to the group. Sounds like you are doing very well all things

considered. I have a 16 year old as well and it wasn't until this past April

that all our hard work started to pay off. This is a great place to learn and be

listened to. You have my best.

revmartha@... wrote:

I am the mother of a 16-year old daughter recently diagnosed with BPD.

She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 11, and has been on one kind of

medication or another since then. We have gone through five years of outpatient

therapy, adolescent partial hospitalization, two inpatient hospitalizations, and

now she is completing her first month in a residential treatment program. Our

daughter is a beautiful, bright, talented girl who so completely unraveled this

year that we came to the heartbreaking realization that we could not provide her

the help that she needed unless she lived in a program designed to help her

24/7. We are now living with her anger, and our guilt and grief, but still we

know it was the right decision.

My husband (her stepfather) and I want nothing more than to have her healthy

enough to be home again. (Her biological father, on the other hand, refers to

her and her two siblings - also his kids - as " trainwrecks. " One is autistic and

the other has had bouts of depression, but they are all great kids.) The program

she is in seems to have a good success rate at teaching girls like her the

coping skills to manage their illness, so that they can control it and not the

other way around.

I look forward to sharing our stories in this cyber support community.

Peace to you all.

__________________________________________________________

Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM.

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Guest guest

Welcome Revmartha!

Glad you are here,although sorry you need to be. My bpdd is also 16, yet seems

to be high functioning and we have had very small skirmishes.

One of the best pieces of advice I have gatheres (and, wow!, there has been a

LOT!), is to try to think of her as someone else's daughter. For me, that means

to handle her with her problems from my head, not my heart. Get her out of my

heart, and get her into my head. Tough love. Does that make sense?

What a blessing to have a supportive step father! I hope her times with her

birth father is highly limited. She doesn't need that toxic attitude. IMHO.

Be at peace and be sure to take care of yourself and you hubby!

Toni

revmartha@... wrote:

I am the mother of a 16-year old daughter recently diagnosed with BPD. She was

diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 11, and has been on one kind of

medication or another since then. We have gone through five years of outpatient

therapy, adolescent partial hospitalization, two inpatient hospitalizations, and

now she is completing her first month in a residential treatment program. Our

daughter is a beautiful, bright, talented girl who so completely unraveled this

year that we came to the heartbreaking realization that we could not provide her

the help that she needed unless she lived in a program designed to help her

24/7. We are now living with her anger, and our guilt and grief, but still we

know it was the right decision.

My husband (her stepfather) and I want nothing more than to have her healthy

enough to be home again. (Her biological father, on the other hand, refers to

her and her two siblings - also his kids - as " trainwrecks. " One is autistic and

the other has had bouts of depression, but they are all great kids.) The program

she is in seems to have a good success rate at teaching girls like her the

coping skills to manage their illness, so that they can control it and not the

other way around.

I look forward to sharing our stories in this cyber support community.

Peace to you all.

________________________________________________________________________

Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM.

All on demand. Always Free.

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Guest guest

Welcome: I am also the mother of a 16 year old daughter: First diagnosed

Bi-Polar then BPD; hospitalizations, outpatient therapy, RTC. (I will also add,

divorced and remarried to a very supporting man - my ex is totally ineffective).

Wow, such parallels. She has been in treatment for one year now. I can

actually say that I know how you are feeling. The emotions run the gambit.

I KNOW we made the right decision. She is making progress - it is slow - but

this disease takes a lot of work especially on our children's part. Work, that

I feel most people should go through, but don't.

Our daughter is in a school in Utah - and they seems to share the same approach

and philsophy as your daughter's school. They need to manage their illness.

I send my support to you and your family. If there is anything that I can do -

do not hesitate to ask.

Hello

I am the mother of a 16-year old daughter recently diagnosed with BPD. She was

diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 11, and has been on one kind of

medication or another since then. We have gone through five years of outpatient

therapy, adolescent partial hospitalization, two inpatient hospitalizations, and

now she is completing her first month in a residential treatment program. Our

daughter is a beautiful, bright, talented girl who so completely unraveled this

year that we came to the heartbreaking realization that we could not provide her

the help that she needed unless she lived in a program designed to help her

24/7. We are now living with her anger, and our guilt and grief, but still we

know it was the right decision.

My husband (her stepfather) and I want nothing more than to have her healthy

enough to be home again. (Her biological father, on the other hand, refers to

her and her two siblings - also his kids - as " trainwrecks. " One is autistic

and the other has had bouts of depression, but they are all great kids.) The

program she is in seems to have a good success rate at teaching girls like her

the coping skills to manage their illness, so that they can control it and not

the other way around.

I look forward to sharing our stories in this cyber support community.

Peace to you all.

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email and IM.

All on demand. Always Free.

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Guest guest

Shannara,

I know how you feel. As long as you are OK. We all come back when we need to

vent.

Milena

Summer Sunderland shadoweve@...> wrote:

Hello everybody,

I needed a break from all this so I have not been here for about a

week. I just couldn't bring myself to come read any more posts. But I

have read some today and will pop back in as I can. My responsibilities

have escalated with the Chamber of Commerce and I have been asked by my

paper to send in more articles. I am swamped and worn out by day's end.

I just wanted to let people know why I stopped posting.

Hope everybody has a good weekend.

Shanara

---------------------------------

New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC and save big.

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Guest guest

In a message dated 6/17/2006 3:19:02 PM Eastern Standard Time,

shadoweve@... writes:

I just wanted to let people know why I stopped posting.

Hope everybody has a good weekend.

Shanara

Hi Shanara,

Good to hear from you, hope you are well and seems you are keeping busy.

Don't overwhelm yourself.

DebbieL

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  • 5 months later...

Hi everybody, sorry its been so long. I have been very busy since going

back to work. Christmas waits for no one int grocery business. I am

also battling with another obstacle I just cannot seem to break the 260

mark no matter what I do. I am following my diet plan to a t and

walking about 4 miles a day not counting the walking at work which is

probably another 2 to 3 miles. Girlfiend is still a hindrance and

things are getting very complicated i now look to work for a break just

to get away. I usually stay there till about 7 or 8 pm depending on if

she is home or not. I would like to take this time to congradulate all

the people who have had the surgery and are now losing weight this is

the best choice you could have made and keep up the good work. I am

still excited about my weight loss its just not moving right now. Oh

yes Mike from gr thanks for the help and offers to go to sams club and

stuff your a good friend and i havent even met you. lol

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Glad to hear you are doing so well... Keep doing what your doing and keep

drinking that water, it will all show up... this always happens when you are

trying to break a number.... As for the girlfriend, I hope that works out for

you soon.

fishnitro06 fishnitro06@...> wrote: Hi everybody, sorry its been

so long. I have been very busy since going

back to work. Christmas waits for no one int grocery business. I am

also battling with another obstacle I just cannot seem to break the 260

mark no matter what I do. I am following my diet plan to a t and

walking about 4 miles a day not counting the walking at work which is

probably another 2 to 3 miles. Girlfiend is still a hindrance and

things are getting very complicated i now look to work for a break just

to get away. I usually stay there till about 7 or 8 pm depending on if

she is home or not. I would like to take this time to congradulate all

the people who have had the surgery and are now losing weight this is

the best choice you could have made and keep up the good work. I am

still excited about my weight loss its just not moving right now. Oh

yes Mike from gr thanks for the help and offers to go to sams club and

stuff your a good friend and i havent even met you. lol

__________________________________________________

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  • 1 month later...

Carol,

Welcome to the group......Your gonna like it here

Mike T

hello

> 1. Name: Carol Guyer

>

> 2. City and state: Lowell MI

>

> 3. Are you a Southern California resident? No

>

> 4. Would you like to be added to our in person luncheon guest list? No

>

> 3. Email address:carol-guyer@...

>

> 4. Obesity Help Profile name and/or OH URL:

>

> 5. Are you: Considering Surgery, Pre Op or Post Op Between

> Considering and pre op

>

> 6. Date of WLS: unknown at this time

>

> 7. Surgeon's Name: Dr Foote

>

> 8. Type of Surgery: Unknown at this time

>

> 9. Highest Pre Surgery Weight: 330

>

> 10. Insurance or self pay: Insurance

>

> 11. What is the name of your insurance company that covered your WLS:

> BCBS and Medicare

>

> 12.Birthdate: 07/21/1951

>

> 13.Occupation:diabled

>

> 14.Hobbies:llamas, goats, sheep, and fiber arts like spinning,

> weaving and carding my own fiber

>

> 15.Anything you would like the other members to know about you? Iwork

> in Llama rescue I am a member of the SELR. I have a broken back

>

> Please feel free to omit any information you don't wish to share.

> Your privacy is respected!

>

>

>

>

>

>

> We are a very active support group.

> If the email becomes overwhelming,

> please change your setting to NO EMAIL!

> Please contact Group Creator

> Robyn@...

>

>

>

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Hi Carol and welcome to the group.

I hope that you find us fun and informative at the same time.

Lin

Lhsh@...

American by birth,

Saved by the grace of God.

hello

1. Name: Carol Guyer

2. City and state: Lowell MI

3. Are you a Southern California resident? No

4. Would you like to be added to our in person luncheon guest list? No

3. Email address:carol-guyer@...

4. Obesity Help Profile name and/or OH URL:

5. Are you: Considering Surgery, Pre Op or Post Op Between

Considering and pre op

6. Date of WLS: unknown at this time

7. Surgeon's Name: Dr Foote

8. Type of Surgery: Unknown at this time

9. Highest Pre Surgery Weight: 330

10. Insurance or self pay: Insurance

11. What is the name of your insurance company that covered your WLS:

BCBS and Medicare

12.Birthdate: 07/21/1951

13.Occupation:diabled

14.Hobbies:llamas, goats, sheep, and fiber arts like spinning,

weaving and carding my own fiber

15.Anything you would like the other members to know about you? Iwork

in Llama rescue I am a member of the SELR. I have a broken back

Please feel free to omit any information you don't wish to share.

Your privacy is respected!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.15.29/608 - Release Date: 12/29/2006

8:22 AM

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WOW thank you Mike

Yes I have a daughter that will be 27 next month.. Her name is Trisha and she

has a twin named ..

This is an awesome group.

How did you know I had a daughter? She is such a wonderful lady NOW but when she

was younger she was a pain in my butt. :0)

Thank you for your wonderful note ..

I have so many questions about this whole WLS thing but I have alot of support..

I am lucky there..

All my friends, our church members , and my family are behind me but is it id

nice to know there are more people out there to help me through this whole thing

Thank you

Carol

Re: hello

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SWISH!! He shoots he scores!

Let me read your post over again Carol....hmmm....Trisha...nice...I

don't see a link to the pictures of her engagement ring or wedding so

I'm thinking we may have something here! HA! Have your daughter check

out my myspace at http://www.myspace.com/urtooclose.

I knew you had a daughter because God has a fantastic sense of humor

and I'm waiting for you to tell me something about Trisha that makes

her totally inaccessible to me like she lives thousands of miles

away, is entering a convent next year or " plays for the other team "

as it were.

There's so much conflicting crap out there on wls and you'll probably

find one or two folks even with a lot of supporters who are cautious

at best and down right against it sometimes.

I think if you asked anyone in this group we're not going to preach

and be such zealots as to give them impression that we're going

around our neighborhoods knocking on doors and trying to recruit wls

patients. It's not for everyone and it doesn't work for some either.

There's also the possibility of complications and, yes, even death.

Some here may have done this purely to look better but I doubt it. I

think most did it because they were basically to the point where

their hope and faith in themselves was at an end. Mine was. I was

being told that basically all the hard work I WASN'T putting into my

health was paying off with pre-diabetes and a whole host of other

ailments. Maybe I was so busy convincing myself I was happy with my

weight/self that I just couldn't lose anything or didn't care.

>

> WOW thank you Mike

>

> Yes I have a daughter that will be 27 next month.. Her name is

Trisha and she has a twin named ..

> This is an awesome group.

>

> How did you know I had a daughter? She is such a wonderful lady NOW

but when she was younger she was a pain in my butt. :0)

> Thank you for your wonderful note ..

>

> I have so many questions about this whole WLS thing but I have alot

of support.. I am lucky there..

> All my friends, our church members , and my family are behind me

but is it id nice to know there are more people out there to help me

through this whole thing

>

> Thank you

> Carol

> Re: hello

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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