Guest guest Posted February 6, 2002 Report Share Posted February 6, 2002 The s were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. kissed his wife and said, " I'm off. The man should be here soon " . Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. " Good morning madam. I've come to...... " " Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you, " Mrs. cut in. " Really? " the photographer asked. " Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies. " " That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. After a moment she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start? " " Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out! " " Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me. " " Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results. " " My, my, that's a lot of ... " gasped Mrs. . " Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure. " " Don't I know it, " Mrs. said quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. " This was done on the top of a bus. " " Oh my god!! " Mrs. exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. " And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with. " " She was difficult ? " asked Mrs. . " Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look. " " Four and five deep? " asked Mrs. , eyes widened in amazement. " Yes " , the photographer said. " And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in. " Mrs. leaned forward. " You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ? " " That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work. " " Tripod?? " Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!! H A P P Y---V A L E N T I N E ' S---D A Y J A N Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2002 Report Share Posted February 6, 2002 Jan, I needed that today. Thanks for the laugh. Sincerely, Pamela Rauch Time for a laugh The s were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. kissed his wife and said, " I'm off. The man should be here soon " . Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. " Good morning madam. I've come to...... " " Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you, " Mrs. cut in. " Really? " the photographer asked. " Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies. " " That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. After a moment she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start? " " Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out! " " Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me. " " Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results. " " My, my, that's a lot of ... " gasped Mrs. . " Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure. " " Don't I know it, " Mrs. said quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. " This was done on the top of a bus. " " Oh my god!! " Mrs. exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. " And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with. " " She was difficult ? " asked Mrs. . " Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look. " " Four and five deep? " asked Mrs. , eyes widened in amazement. " Yes " , the photographer said. " And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in. " Mrs. leaned forward. " You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ? " " That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work. " " Tripod?? " Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!! H A P P Y---V A L E N T I N E ' S---D A Y J A N Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2002 Report Share Posted February 6, 2002 Jan, I needed that today. Thanks for the laugh. Sincerely, Pamela Rauch Time for a laugh The s were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. kissed his wife and said, " I'm off. The man should be here soon " . Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. " Good morning madam. I've come to...... " " Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you, " Mrs. cut in. " Really? " the photographer asked. " Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies. " " That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. After a moment she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start? " " Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out! " " Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me. " " Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results. " " My, my, that's a lot of ... " gasped Mrs. . " Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure. " " Don't I know it, " Mrs. said quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. " This was done on the top of a bus. " " Oh my god!! " Mrs. exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. " And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with. " " She was difficult ? " asked Mrs. . " Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look. " " Four and five deep? " asked Mrs. , eyes widened in amazement. " Yes " , the photographer said. " And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in. " Mrs. leaned forward. " You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ? " " That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work. " " Tripod?? " Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!! H A P P Y---V A L E N T I N E ' S---D A Y J A N Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2002 Report Share Posted February 6, 2002 Jan, I needed that today. Thanks for the laugh. Sincerely, Pamela Rauch Time for a laugh The s were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. kissed his wife and said, " I'm off. The man should be here soon " . Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. " Good morning madam. I've come to...... " " Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you, " Mrs. cut in. " Really? " the photographer asked. " Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies. " " That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. After a moment she asked, blushing, " Well, where do we start? " " Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out! " " Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me. " " Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results. " " My, my, that's a lot of ... " gasped Mrs. . " Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure. " " Don't I know it, " Mrs. said quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. " This was done on the top of a bus. " " Oh my god!! " Mrs. exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. " And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with. " " She was difficult ? " asked Mrs. . " Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look. " " Four and five deep? " asked Mrs. , eyes widened in amazement. " Yes " , the photographer said. " And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in. " Mrs. leaned forward. " You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ? " " That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work. " " Tripod?? " Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted!! H A P P Y---V A L E N T I N E ' S---D A Y J A N Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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