help?

[Guest guest]

Hi y'all --

I'm pretty scared right now. I've finally managed to get back to work, but

my " keep your mouth shut " policy is costing me. I worked Sunday and

Monday, slept all day Tuesday, rested on Wed, worked last night 3-11, and

today I can't walk again. Well, I can, but I fell down getting out of bed,

so I'm using my cane today. I sort of lock my knees and lurch.

I'm trying so hard to work fulltime again, for financial and insurance

reasons, and today will only be my fourth working day since Sunday. But

I'm having a ton of problems this morning. I don't know why I can't do

this. I'm just scared to death I can't hack full time.

I'm seeing a new neurologist this morning. I had been feeling so much

better, no more walker or cane, able to do some gardening and writing, that

sort of thing. But I'm crashing so bad, and I just don't even understand

why. With no definite MS dx, I can't understand the way my arms and legs

just have stopped wanting to work again. My arms are having bad tremors,

and my legs feel like jello. I'm so tired I just want to sit here and cry

(and I may just do that).

I don't want to believe this. I just don't want to believe I can't

work. But what is happening to me? I should be fresh as a daisy after 2

months off, but I'm already back to dragging my left foot again, and I'm so

tired. The thought of working today is overwhelming. Absolutely

overwhelming, and I don't understand.

Isthis just my reality check? I have so many questions. Is this FM or

MS? WIll I build up some tolerance again?

I'm so scared. Can anyone talk to me and see if maybe there are some

answers? I'm too scared to think.

Em

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I can't deal with cleaning up. Let's sell the house. "

I'll sing for my supper, but I won't audition.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~