My child may have cancer

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

There are lots of unknowns here and I know it's easier said then done but

sit back take a deep breath and try and calm yourself. You have handled a lot of

things in you and your family's lives and you will handle this one as well.

I agree with Aase - she is trying to assert her independance by proving to

herself she can handle this. It is no reflection on how she feels about you - it

is a stage in life thats all. If anything, by what shes been saying, she loves

you SO much she's trying to shield you. I also agree with gently reminding her

you are there for her. You may also want to remind her (gently) that you have

quite a bit of experince with fact finding and dealing with docs and that your

experience may come in handy for her in this situation. That you not only want

her to know you are there for her emotionally but also there to help find the

answers and options for this medical problem as you have with so many others.

You are right in saying that this whole thing sounds strange (the steps

that are being taken) but it sounds like we don't have all the info. As you know

from your own experience, an initial panick is fine but then you have to buckle

down and start info gathering and get the real story. There are SO many things

that could be going on. But I know, as I live it, the feeling of it's bound to

be the bad thing cause " Murphey " has put up permanent residence with that

person.

I would try and play the emotional rock here. Keep your emotions at bay

while dealing with her and just stick with fact finding. If she senses you

getting upset she may try and pull away - to save you the pain. She may feel

like she's caused you enough pain and does not want to contribute to more. She

may also tend to shut down, as you've seen, when she gets emotional. So steering

her away from her emotions when they start to get the better of her may help.

Well thats a long enough post :-) Hang in ther and write when you need us!

Hugs,

B.

HEDS, New Jersey, USA