I am adopted...

[Guest guest]

Chippi,

You make me

cry. That was so beautiful. Maybe there is a reason you can’t

guess that caused your bio-mom not to write back. I’m glad you told

us your story. Your lupie friend, Cheryl in CA

From:

chipsie1@...

Sent: Saturday, May 22, 2004 6:11

PM

To: LUPIES

Subject: Re: I am

adopted...

I saw a post from MM to a C. I am not sure what is going on

but I

am gonna post my thoughts...

I am adopted...have been since I was four days

old. I am fifty one

years old (feel fortunate I told my age...but I

needed to due to the

time I was born in)...In those days a child born

out of wedlock was

looked upon as a bastard of sorts...the unwed

mother was scorned and the

family was disgraced...thank God times have

changed...

My mom was young...maybe about fifteen when she

had me. She wanted to

keep me but my natural grandmother said she would

put her out on the

street...My father...I presume he just went his

own way...i am not

sure...

I was adopted by a wonderful family who had lost a

twenty two month old

baby girl due to pneumonia. The doc called

my adopted mom up and asked

her if she wanted a baby...she said ok and he said

come and get her...I

was born in a small four bed hospital. The

nurse that took care of me

and assisted at my birth became a close family

friend to this day. Aunt

Betty, as I call her, unlocked many questions that

I could not ask my

adoptive mother.

It is really hard for a child or even a grown up,

to accept the fact

that they were unwanted by their natural

parents...but down inside I

felt so happy to be in this wonderful adoptive

family...My adopted daddy

adored me and my adoptive mom gave me everything

under the son...

What as so strange about the entire thing, and I

just found this

out...My natural mom went to recuperate right

across the street from

where I was with my new family. She went to

her sisters house, my birth

aunt. I never knew of this until about five

years ago. My mother in

law on her death bed, told me who my birth mom

was...she wanted me to

know and she knew my adoptive mom was not gonna

tell me.

I guess the reason she did not want to tell me was

cause she was scared

they would come and get me....or that my birth mom

would come by and try

to be my mom again...but that could never

happen. My adoptive mom,

Flossie, and my adoptive daddy, , have and

will always be my mom

and dad...they are the ones that did without so

that I could have those

prom dresses...those were the ones that stayed up

with me when I was so

sick with asthma every nite...they were the ones

that stress goodness

and morales in my life...those were my

parents...My birth parents were

only egg and sperm donors to me.

I used to always wonder when I was a kid and to

this day, if my mom

every thought of me on my birthday on March

4th...did she remember...to

this day it is hard. I just started giving

myself surprise birthday

parties with my kiddies at school...and my

daughter surprised me with a

big surprise party this year....It blew me

away....My birthday I spent

wondering why did she give me away...on holidays

it was the same

thing...why....all the holidays at my house were

low keyed...this year I

had the first really good christmas in a long time

as my kids were home

and it was my first grandbaby's first

Christmas...that meant so much to

me for the baby to be here with me.

When I gave birth to my first daughter twenty

eight years ago, the nurse

brought her to me....and I told the nurse to take

her back for a little

while...I was crying and crying...my mom never got

to even see what I

looked like....I was whisked out of there before

she got a glimpse of

me...Catholic Services you know...those nuns

believed in that....all my

mom heard was my haunting cry.

My Aunt Betty told me some things the day I was

sitting for my adoptive

mom who was dying from cancer in the

hospital. She told me that her

name was Kate...and she was a nice girl that got

into trouble. She

wanted her baby but could not keep her...I was

told that four years

ago...

When I was growing up I always had questions I

asked my adoptive

mom....why did she give me up....who was my

daddy...and her reply was

always...she could not take care of you...

The day before I got married she told me that I

was illegitate and that

my mom did not know who my daddy was cause he had

so many women...why

she told me this story the day before my wedding,

I have no clue...it

was so far from the truth...

I guess she thought I was gonna go look for

her...I would never do

that...I know that would have hurt my adoptive mom

and I would never

want to do that.

The only thing that really bothered me was how I

was introduced to

people...My adoptive mom would introduce me as

this is the child I

adopted and these are my two real

daughters....this I did not care

for...first...why make the distinction...we are

all your daughters...and

second...I am as real as the others....this hurt

my feelings...and it

happened over and over and over....You do not only

have the questions in

your head about why did she give me away, you have

well meaning people

making you think of it everyday of the week.

When my adoptive mom was in the hospital, she was

in ICU...and visiting

is hard and there are many rules...I was

refused entrance to see my mom

cause i was not a blood relative...I explained to

the head nurse I was

the adoptive daughter but I was given no

admittance...well...I was

banging on the hospital administrators door and I

quoted the State of

Louisiana law that stated that an adoptive child has the same rights

as

a blood relative...and that I demanded to see my

mom...and if they did

not allow it, my lawyer would make sure I owned

this hospital by the

morning....I got to see my mom...Her doc did the

same thing...when I was

sitting with her he refused to tell me info cause

I was not a blood

relative...well i educated him fast on the law and

remined him I had an

attorney already on retainer...so i got the

info too...

It is hard being a kid knowing you are

adopted...but I do believe it is

better for the kid to know that they are adopted

than to them to be

surprised by the news one day. Show them

love...show them caring...and

they know who their real mom and dad are.

a, Idk how old your children are...I found out

I was adopted at

six...My mom said I was special cause I was picked

out to be her little

girl. That was so nice...

Oh....I wrote my birth mom a letter and had it

delivered to my birth

aunt that lives right across the street from

me. I told her I know who

she was and that I was a teacher. I have two

girls, one that is a US

Navy gunner who was on the USS Cole when it was

hit. I told her that

her " granddaughter " was a hero cause she

crawled thru the messhall to

save the lives of many soldiers on that day...I

also told her she had

another granddaughter that was dyslexic but had

overcome that and was a

teacher in a high school...and a cheerleading

coach...I also gave her my

phone number and address ...I told her I would

like to talk to her...not

to ask her why or anything...just to thank her for

giving birth to

me...and loving me enough to give me away to

people that would make a

great home for me...that is sacrifice yall...

i waited and waited for that phone call....three

birthdays have passed

and still no phone call...Christmases, Easters,

and every other holiday

and she still has not called me...I am just

chalking it up to her

loss...I am a good person...and if she does not

want to get to know

me...she is a loser in my eyes...all I want to do

is to tell her thank

you for chosing adoption instead of abortion...

So you see even at fifty one, an adopted child

still has many questions

that remain unanswered...but I know who was my mom

and dad...Flossie and

were...God blessed me with wonderful

adoptive parents whom I love

very much and miss so much. chippy

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