Issue of Honesty

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

Some of you know me I am still fairly new. My name is Crystal

I'm 19 and have a one of a kind type of EDS all we know is I fit in

each type. But I have had something on my mind that to you guys may

be kind of stupid and that is about honesty in other words lyeing.

Everyone in some point in time has not been fully honest no one is

perfect. But some seem to streatch the truth to much but is that any

reason to look down on them? I myself had a problem with lyeing when

I was younger but I lied because of my EDS. Most of it was in school

like in Gym class the teacher would do something that I couldnt do

or I was slow at and I knew the other kids would make fun of me. So

I would either tell the teacher I dislocated a joint or most of the

time I would actually make one of my joints dislocate. My teachers

knew about my EDS and were suppose to ajust to my needs. But to me

lying is like an addiction and once you do it it's hard to stop. I

never used it to get out of school or anything except gym. But one I

saw the attention I got I didnt want to let go of that. And I have

noticed the same problem with other kids I know with EDS. Sadly it

seems lying at times is the only way we can get anyone to notice or

understand us. I use to look at kids that got special awards for the

great sports they played or their great grades in class. I would cry

because all I ever got was made fun of. And having EDS I knew I

couldnt play sports or do andything big like the rest of the kids.

But the problem is at times I really over did it to get attention.

But my reason was when I was in pain and I saw everyone else around

me happy and pain free I would get angery so therefor I at times

lied to get attention just so I didnt feel so left out. But what I

dont understand the most is as I got older I still had trouble

stopping but I did have a few friends but thing was I one woman in

particular that I looked at as my best friend she was an adult in

her 40's she helped sick people in the hospital by playing a harp

and thats how we met. I became very close friends with her she was

like a mom to me. But she didnt live real close about 30min away. I

always wanted to meet up with her just to see her and talk to her

(you know how it is when a certaint person means the world to you)

but she was always so busy. One time I had surgery on my hip and she

with me all the time and I loved it and I realized that was the only

way I could get her attention was if I was sick or something or

upset. And I did take advantage of that at times not much but when

she found out that some of the things were not true all I got was an

email saying she wouldnt talk to me anymore. OK and I feel she was

right but to me that is not what a best friend is. I couldnt do that

to someone, I always thought that a best friend stuck by you through

tough times even when the problem is lyeing not just stop talking or

communicating with them. I dont know am I to soft? But I do know

other kids that this has happened to now their friends that are kids

get over it and normally come back but adults why do they do things

like that when you think they would understand better than kids. But

what kills me is the lie she said I did was when I told her I had

EDS she had never heard of it and thought it didnt exist. I mean I

anyone can look at this from different angels but I feel that kids

with syndromes like EDS if they do lie they shouldnt be punnished

because people need to hear their reason WHY they did it. That was

it for me no body ever gave me the chance to even explain why I had

done what I did. EDS effects phycologicaly just as much as

physically especially to a child. I feel they should be talked to

before it gets to far and they loose a very important person in

their lives. But dont judge them and be harsh about it until you

understand WHY. Because I bet over 99% of the time they will say

it's because they feel left out, no one understands how they feel so

they do things to try to get attention like any other kid. Look at

it as if You were a child on a playground and you saw a kid fall

down and scrape their knee, they see the attention a teacher gives

them as they run to their side because the child is crying their

knee hurts, And there you are a child with EDS in constant pain

everyday and what attention do you get out of it? I just wanted

someone elses opinion on this issue because maybe I am nuts I just

feel thought that every child has the right to be heard especially

if the siffer with something such as EDS.

Sorry this was so long but thanks for you time, Love to all

Crystal