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I probably caused some additional stress -- but while that horrible doctor's

manner was less than human, his answer was accurate. The reason I got better

treatment for a while is purely luck with doctors -- I had a couple who were

willing to fight a bit when needed. Currently, I'm under Medicare treatment only

for my oesteoporosis. Everything else -- well, for instance I have nerve

damage and no one cares to find out why, or even bother testing me again to find

out if the damage is ongoing. Unless I pay for it, of course. I'd like to see a

surgeon again, four years later -- but it'd cost me big time, to probably be

told again there's nothing he could do. So I don't go....

There are two reasons I'm not back in my deep depression. The first is, the

medication works. Whatever it costs me, it works. Second, my job now is having

EDS, so I search all the " alternate " paths. Like, acupressure has helped me

drastically with migraines, which the system cared less about.

And a couple days a week, I AM back in deep depression. I hate this, I hate

this...it's all I can do to tolerate it, and despite appearances I know I'm

fairly strong, so I can imagine what it does to others, and I hate it.

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