Newbie Says Hi and Asks for Help

[Guest guest]

Hello to Everyone:

I posted some of my bio in another post, but since not everyone may

read that one, I thought I would repost under a new heading and ask a

question.

My name is Pam and I live in the beautiful mountains of western North

Carolina. I am 47 years old, married to my best friend and honey,

, and we have two teen-age boys ages 16 and 18. The oldest will

be graduating high school this May... no stress here!!

I began with a migraine headache in December of 1996. The headache

did not let up for even an hour until March 12, 2001 when an odd

assortment of meds suggested from my fifth neurologist finally

worked. [The migraine - it was determined was a side-ffect of

hormonal replacement therapy. Yep! All this and menopause, too!] I

was ecstatic...until 12 days later when I came down with every

symptom fibromyalgia has to offer. Lucky me, huh? On the good side,

diagnosis was soon in the coming.

I spent the first month getting diagnosed. The rheumatologist who

diagnosed me (and my regular MD concurred) assumed the long-term pain

of the non-stop migraine gave rise to the fibromyalgia. To make a

long story short, I have been in pain for 5 years plus (but who's

counting?!) My MD also tells me I am his second worse case.

I dealt with the daily migraine much better than I am dealing with

the FMS. At least with the migraine, I could still get up and serve

my family and keep a very good job. I don't know how else to put it

except to say with the migraine I felt bigger than it, with fibro it

seems it is bigger than me.

Everything I have read suggests that FMS will come in flares. Well, I

have been in a flare since it began. On my good days I am able to

cook dinner, maybe do a load of laundry, shower, and on a really good

day, I can vacuum!!! But even on the good days I have only about 3

good hours of energy and then I'm down for the rest of the day. I

have been in the bed all day, every day for the last three weeks.

I had to quit my job last May because most of my pain is in my lower

back, pelvis (every muscle that attaches there let's me know it's

there!) thighs and knees and does not allow me to sit or walk for

long periods of time.

I have learned to appreciate just being mobile...who would have ever

thought being able to move would make the number one spot on my

gratitude list?

The meds I am on are: Atenolol for high blood pressure, Elavil (100

mgs)at night for insomnia, Effexor (150 mgs) for pain and depression

and my doctor finally added Alprazolam for sleep when needed.

I was first diagnosed about a year and a half into the migraine, but

the migraine pain masked the fibro, so I didn't become fully aware of

how bad the fibro was until the end of the migraine.

My worse symptoms are pain, pain and pain. Followed closely by

insomnia and when I can't move for weeks at a time (like now), I have

a hard time with sadness. I don't think I'm depressed yet this time

around, but in the beginning before I finally decided to quit

mentally fighting it, I had depression very badly. I never got

suicidal, but I did get to a point where I understood how someone

could choose that route.

The most difficult thing I contend with mentally is not being able to

cook, clean my house, or go out for fun activities with my family.

All these are directly related to my sadness - which brings me to my

question:

When (or if, I guess) your fibro gets so bad you are unable to get

out of bed for days at a time, how do you keep yourself " up " ? Any

help with this would be greatly appreciated. I do remember to be

grateful for the fact I'm still alive, my home is full of love and

laughter, etc., but I still have this sadness about not being an

active participant in my family's daily activities.

Thank you for reading this exceptionally long post.

With kindness,

Pam