difficult situation / April

[Guest guest]

Hi April,

I wish I could offer you some brilliant advice regarding your difficult

situation. But I don't have any. Brilliance, or advice! I do empathize with

you though. Any time a friendship takes a sour turn like this it is indeed

difficult to know how to handle it. And of course when weight management is

involved it adds a very sensitive component to it.

The one thing I'll offer is that I've learned I have to set boundaries in

certain relationships. Certain friends are more difficult than others (I'm sure

you know that too!), and with the most difficult ones I have actually had to

spell out for them what the boundaries need to be for our friendship to continue

to be healthy. Fortunately, this type of friend is the exception not the norm.

And I can happily say that once I've set the boundaries, things have become more

comfortable for both of us. The difficult part is that it has taken a

confrontation--a boundary-setting discussion--to get there. Interestingly, in

these discussions, I have found that my difficult-friend needed to set some

boundaries for ME too. And if we both honor each other's boundaries, we have

ended up happy again. Oops....now I'm rambling. Sorry.

If you value this friend and this relationship, it may come to what I've

described above. The alternative is usually that the relationship gets stuck in

an awkward, uncomfortable place for both parties.

Best wishes, April. You're a wonderful person and I know that I'm happy to call

you my online friend!

Bette