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In a message dated 6/30/03 8:59:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

ladybughaley@... writes:

> My therapist is concerned that I'm goingto have a sick baby. She even said

> to me, " I wouldn't buy anything for the baby until the end, because you may

> not have a healthy baby. "

Where in the heck did you find this nut! I'm sorry, but as a mental health

professional things like this really grind my gears. Haley as you've probably

read there are many post-ops who conceived much earlier than you who have had

happy healthy babies. 4 women HARDLY constitute a valid study (and even still 3

out of 4 ain't bad odds) and the fact that your therapist would be so

insensitive incenses me. What credentials does she tout to refer to herself as a

" Bariatric Specialist " . Is this quack licensed? Remember some practicing

therapists

graduate with honors and others barely squeaked by with the minimum GPA.

Don't be afraid to be proactive with your mental OR physical health (same rules

apply for any college graduate, right?) I am always careful about who I call an

expert and am not afraid to do my OWN research before buying into something

that sounds half baked!

Please, please, please don't feel afraid to bond with your baby. That bond

alone can help you in making the kinds of decisions that will improve your

chances for an uneventful pregnancy, labor and delivery.

We are here for support when you need it....BTW I'd look for a new therapist!

Mom to Dejah (4) and Soon...

TWINS! EDD 01/09/04

RNY 11/01/01 -160

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>I'm sorry it makes you defensive...I wish everyone could

>have whatever type of birth experience they dream

>about...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------

>And I dream of as little pain as possible....bring on the drugs!!! I have

a freind who >has had 5 of her 8 children ( they take the bible verse

seriously and consider it their >personal responsiblity :-)) at home. I

tell her she is more woman than I will ever be if >that is the basis.

> Seriuosly, I may feel differntly after this pregnancy. First one

wasn't a bad >experience,But I don't want to go through it again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------

Kalyn, and all the other aspiring mamas,

For anyone who has been through a rough labor and delivery experience and

who is doubting their chances of ever having their " dream birth " , I just

wanted to share a little.

I started out in my first pregnancy reading every little thing I could about

birth. I was taken by the ideas and words of people who promote " natural

childbirth " . I bought into everything they said, and thought for sure I

would go all natural myself. Boy was I taken aback when confronted with the

real thing! I went to 42 weeks with my OB tsk tsking that I was " still

pregnant " . Then my water broke without any sign of contractions starting.

Then I had pitocin, and every machine and monitor the hospital could cram

into the delivery room. Believe me I was BEGGING for an epidural before

long. The pain was way more than I ever could have imagined! I also ended

up pushing for 2 1/2 hours followed by a forceps assisted delivery. My only

emotion at the end of that was, Thank God It's Over!

In my second pregnancy, I was much more pragmatic. I didn't have my sights

set on any kind of ideal birth, I just hoped that it would come out a little

better than the previous one. Once again, I had pitocin, but things went

smoother otherwise. When I felt that the pain got too intense, I asked for

an epidural without any qualms. Less than 7 hours after the start of the

induction, and only 15 minutes of pushing, my baby was in my arms. My

emotion this time? Wow! That wasn't so bad. I could do that again!

So, going into labor #3, I figured it would be very similar to #2. I was

not induced this time, so I was at home when I went into labor, but I

figured I would stay home until I felt I needed pain relief, then head to

the hospital which is about 3 minutes (max) from our house. I labored all

day, sometimes close and regular contractions, sometimes spaced and

irregular contractions. I was guessing all day whether this was " real

labor " or not. I did whatever felt best, which was mostly walking around

and rocking in a rocking chair. I took a warm bath which helped keep me

comfortable for quite a while until the hot water ran out. At some point, I

finally made up my mind that this was real labor, then another hour later, I

decided it was hurting a little too much, and we headed to the hospital. It

took about two minutes to check in, and another two minutes for a nurse on

the OB floor to have me up on a bed checking my dialation. MUCH to my

surprise, she announce that I was fully dialated! Within 10 more minutes,

my son was delivered (about 5 minutes before my doctor arrived)! I went

completely and totally all-natural. They didn't even have time to listen to

my baby's heart with the monitor before he delivered, much less hook up any

IV or other machines. And NO ONE was more surprised than me!

My point here, IF indeed I do have one -lol-, is that every labor and

delivery is different. Just because you have had a hard delivery in the

past, don't assume that it will always be that way. And, if you have a

dream of delivering naturally, don't give up on that dream just yet. There

is a stereotype that women who deliver naturally are enduring all kinds of

terrifying pain. They either do it because they are stubborn and tough as

nails and just get through it, or they have a naturally high pain tolerance

and it doesn't affect them like it does most of us. Really, there is

another possibility. The thing is, sometimes it just doesn't hurt enough

for the mother to want medication. Sometimes just walking, rocking, or

doing whatever comes naturally to keep yourself comfortable is all it takes

to keep the pain away. It worked for me, and you better bet with my next

delivery this November/December, I will be avoiding Pitocin like the plague,

not allowing anyone to rupture my membranes, and laboring at home as long as

possible. I will still accept pain relief if I feel I need it, but it was

SO NICE not to need any of that stuff last time, that I am making it my goal

this time as well.

Sorry I've written a novel here. I hope somebody here got something out of

it. I just don't want anyone to lose hope and feel that they are just one

of the unlucky ones who can't stand labor pain. Every labor is different,

and your next one might surprise you, (in a good way)!

Lynn

Baby #4 due December 3, 2003

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>I'm sorry it makes you defensive...I wish everyone could

>have whatever type of birth experience they dream

>about...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------

>And I dream of as little pain as possible....bring on the drugs!!! I have

a freind who >has had 5 of her 8 children ( they take the bible verse

seriously and consider it their >personal responsiblity :-)) at home. I

tell her she is more woman than I will ever be if >that is the basis.

> Seriuosly, I may feel differntly after this pregnancy. First one

wasn't a bad >experience,But I don't want to go through it again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------

Kalyn, and all the other aspiring mamas,

For anyone who has been through a rough labor and delivery experience and

who is doubting their chances of ever having their " dream birth " , I just

wanted to share a little.

I started out in my first pregnancy reading every little thing I could about

birth. I was taken by the ideas and words of people who promote " natural

childbirth " . I bought into everything they said, and thought for sure I

would go all natural myself. Boy was I taken aback when confronted with the

real thing! I went to 42 weeks with my OB tsk tsking that I was " still

pregnant " . Then my water broke without any sign of contractions starting.

Then I had pitocin, and every machine and monitor the hospital could cram

into the delivery room. Believe me I was BEGGING for an epidural before

long. The pain was way more than I ever could have imagined! I also ended

up pushing for 2 1/2 hours followed by a forceps assisted delivery. My only

emotion at the end of that was, Thank God It's Over!

In my second pregnancy, I was much more pragmatic. I didn't have my sights

set on any kind of ideal birth, I just hoped that it would come out a little

better than the previous one. Once again, I had pitocin, but things went

smoother otherwise. When I felt that the pain got too intense, I asked for

an epidural without any qualms. Less than 7 hours after the start of the

induction, and only 15 minutes of pushing, my baby was in my arms. My

emotion this time? Wow! That wasn't so bad. I could do that again!

So, going into labor #3, I figured it would be very similar to #2. I was

not induced this time, so I was at home when I went into labor, but I

figured I would stay home until I felt I needed pain relief, then head to

the hospital which is about 3 minutes (max) from our house. I labored all

day, sometimes close and regular contractions, sometimes spaced and

irregular contractions. I was guessing all day whether this was " real

labor " or not. I did whatever felt best, which was mostly walking around

and rocking in a rocking chair. I took a warm bath which helped keep me

comfortable for quite a while until the hot water ran out. At some point, I

finally made up my mind that this was real labor, then another hour later, I

decided it was hurting a little too much, and we headed to the hospital. It

took about two minutes to check in, and another two minutes for a nurse on

the OB floor to have me up on a bed checking my dialation. MUCH to my

surprise, she announce that I was fully dialated! Within 10 more minutes,

my son was delivered (about 5 minutes before my doctor arrived)! I went

completely and totally all-natural. They didn't even have time to listen to

my baby's heart with the monitor before he delivered, much less hook up any

IV or other machines. And NO ONE was more surprised than me!

My point here, IF indeed I do have one -lol-, is that every labor and

delivery is different. Just because you have had a hard delivery in the

past, don't assume that it will always be that way. And, if you have a

dream of delivering naturally, don't give up on that dream just yet. There

is a stereotype that women who deliver naturally are enduring all kinds of

terrifying pain. They either do it because they are stubborn and tough as

nails and just get through it, or they have a naturally high pain tolerance

and it doesn't affect them like it does most of us. Really, there is

another possibility. The thing is, sometimes it just doesn't hurt enough

for the mother to want medication. Sometimes just walking, rocking, or

doing whatever comes naturally to keep yourself comfortable is all it takes

to keep the pain away. It worked for me, and you better bet with my next

delivery this November/December, I will be avoiding Pitocin like the plague,

not allowing anyone to rupture my membranes, and laboring at home as long as

possible. I will still accept pain relief if I feel I need it, but it was

SO NICE not to need any of that stuff last time, that I am making it my goal

this time as well.

Sorry I've written a novel here. I hope somebody here got something out of

it. I just don't want anyone to lose hope and feel that they are just one

of the unlucky ones who can't stand labor pain. Every labor is different,

and your next one might surprise you, (in a good way)!

Lynn

Baby #4 due December 3, 2003

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