To Mojo and MM

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I'm a very positive

upbeat person 99% of the time. I count myself lucky every day that

I'm having a lot less of a rought time than most people on this

board. I have a soft bed, a roof over my head, and someone who loves

me more than life. Life is good. I just have periods where I feel

like I can't participate in my life and that it's passing me by. I'm

in my prime and lupus is stealing it from me. Guess I grieve for it

every now and then, then I move on. I'll bounce back in no

time....probably once all the barium passes after today...lol.

Thanks again. You both mean a lot to me.

> , Good luck with the scan. I just went t hrough a bunch of

them, and

> have some more in the

> next few weeks. Not fun, but necessary.

>

> On the struggle with energy levels, or lack thereof, I don't

think we ever

> get used to losing our ability

> to get around as we wish. Feels like such a betrayal, especially

if we've

> had very active lives before

> Lupus got a foothold. I have found for myself, that finding a way

to be

> useful and justify my exist-

> ence works for me most of the time. Nothing works all the time,

but most of

> the time I can point to

> my involvement with this group, with children, and with my art and

writing,

> and say that I am not

> just taking up space on the planet. Trying to find a positive

good in

> each day helps a lot. I am not

> trying to be a Pollyanna, here, either. When I give in to my

depression and

> fears, I have an awful time, but when I look for ways to be useful

to someone

> else, I physically feel stronger. Hope that is

> helpful for you, too. Loving hugs, MM