feeling like hell

[Guest guest]

hello i am one of the new members on here and am feeling pretty low

and desperate i am really having trouble coping with everything

right now and its getting unbearable. i spent most of last night

crying from the pain and the unbearable feeling of lonliness. i have

been suffering the most god awful headache for a week now and no

painkillers i have are touching it.its starts on the left side of my

head i feel very hot and spaced out i have been having tingling in

my fingers and pain all across my shoulders and down my arms.i have

a hubby who thinks support is working hard and paying the bills and

doesn`t understand how bad things are and gives me no emotional

support cos he just doesn`t seem to know how.the fatigue is chronic

to say the least and i`m frustrated because i want to do things but

i just can`t due to being in too much pain or just plain lacking the

energy,i totally understand how rachel was feeling when she wrote

her post about how bad she felt and can sympathise deeply.its a

vicious circle i get tired and am in pain therefor i get depressed

because i can`t do anything the depression makes my symptoms worse

and then i feel even worse ,i feel like my family would be better

off without me( in the words of a robbie williams song: i don`t

wanna die but i aint keen on living either just about sums up how i

feel) sorry i don`t mean to upset anyone but to be honest i really

need someone to talk to so here i am. i hope everyone is doing ok

and thanks for listening, love mandy

[Guest guest]

Hi Mandy,

Oh how I remember being hung up in that dark,scarey, and depressing void that you and seem not to be able to climb your way out of......But I did it , and most of the other group members have been there too.

I really don't know which is worse......going through this all alone,( meaning no family members around for understanding and support) as I did, Or having family members around that are not supportive ......and in fact give you grief because you can't do more or feel better.

I think the main reason we get so hung up, is that we are grieving for our old selves before we met `the wolf.'......and the grieving process takes time.....and goes through many stages.....Anger....depression....pain......denial......then we start all over again. It's a vicious cycle....that just seems to have to run it's course.

I remember telling my Psychiatrist ," I promise you that I WILL NOT spend the next 20 or 30 years feeling like this.....and knowing I will never feel good again!!

It took time, and yes I still feel that rebellion rising up in my heart occasionlly......but just remember as I one day came to realize.......I didn't want to kill myself........I JUST WANTED TO KILL THE PAIN!

To Quote another phrase....from that old song,`Old Man River'...".I'm tired of livin'....but scared of dyin'....but old Man River Just keeps rollin' along."

Keep reaching out to the group and let us help you cope. Someday someone will say just the right thing that will give you the strength to carry on, and climb out of that Pit.

We are here for you,

C.

feeling like hell

hello i am one of the new members on here and am feeling pretty low and desperate i am really having trouble coping with everything right now and its getting unbearable. i spent most of last night crying from the pain and the unbearable feeling of lonliness. i have been suffering the most god awful headache for a week now and no painkillers i have are touching it.its starts on the left side of my head i feel very hot and spaced out i have been having tingling in my fingers and pain all across my shoulders and down my arms.i have a hubby who thinks support is working hard and paying the bills and doesn`t understand how bad things are and gives me no emotional support cos he just doesn`t seem to know how.the fatigue is chronic to say the least and i`m frustrated because i want to do things but i just can`t due to being in too much pain or just plain lacking the energy,i totally understand how rachel was feeling when she wrote her post about how bad she felt and can sympathise deeply.its a vicious circle i get tired and am in pain therefor i get depressed because i can`t do anything the depression makes my symptoms worse and then i feel even worse ,i feel like my family would be better off without me( in the words of a robbie williams song: i don`t wanna die but i aint keen on living either just about sums up how i feel) sorry i don`t mean to upset anyone but to be honest i really need someone to talk to so here i am. i hope everyone is doing ok and thanks for listening, love mandy"The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?username=lupies