Re: Whoa, there, Nellie

[Guest guest]

I used to have a lot of problems with my bf, almost breaking us up more than

once, because he just couldn't understand how I felt, what I was going

through, why I couldn't just " grin and bear it " . He has osteoarthritis, most

of his vertebrae in his lower back are completely gone. But, he worked

anyway. Until recently. It progressively got worse and now he can barely

move, is in 100s time worse pain, is very depressed and as much as I feel

for him, an evil part of me is glad that he FINALLY understands what I've

been going through and realizes he's human too. No one, unless they

experience chronic pain, some kind of disability, severe depression, etc.

can truly understand us. I agree, without support groups like this, I think

suicide rates in general would skyrocket. We need to talk to others who

understand and care. It's part of being human. :-)

Re: Re: Whoa, there, Nellie

> Hi , Thank you for the informative posts. It is

> hard to explain to someone about fibro. I finally quit

> trying and just don'[t even mention to anyone I have

> it. I just no longer share how I feel except with one

> close friend. Noone else seems to understand when we

> are experiencing. I have been diagnosed bi-polar,

> panic disorder, insomnia, fibro, chronic bronchitis,

> chronic back pain, asthma. My husband tells people

> I've got a " cough " when I have bronchitis or asthma

> attack. He says " I'm just tired " when I get depressed

> or agoraphobic. I can't even tell him how I feel

> becuase he doesn't understand either so why try? That

> leaves me to fend for myself when I have difficulty

> functioning, that is why I really enjoy these support

> groups. I have also enjoyed the Chronic Pain Support

> Group as well and just recently came here. Thanks for

> the input. Stop and visit my new web site (my therapy)

> www.emergingcourageous.com My Helper went back to

> school and Im trying to figure out how to add my

> stories. Any ideas? Lovingly< Marilyn

> --- u2tree2000 u2tree2000@...> wrote:

> > ,

> >

> > From someone who also has been diagnosed with

> > Clincal Depression, I

> > hear ya. It is something that never goes away, also

> > even when you are

> > on anti-depressants it still doesn't go away, it

> > evens out a bit but

> > those depressed thoughts are still there they are

> > just easier to deal

> > with on the medication.

> >

> > My mother never understood either that there was

> > something missing in

> > my brain that was why I was so depressed and

> > anti-social. She always

> > and still thinks that I should just snap out of it

> > but I can't unless

> > I am fully medicated.

> >

> > Tara

> >

> > >

> > > >There is a huge difference between wallowing in

> > self pity and

> > finding

> > > >yourself either clinically depressed or in a

> > really miserable spot

> > in

> > > >life.

> > >

> > > I've been (nicely) told in private correspondence

> > that a lot of

> > people

> > > don't understand that clinical depression is

> > chemical, not

> > something you

> > > can turn off and on like a lamp. And I agree with

> > her.

> > >

> > > For me, depression has been a battle literally

> > since I was a small

> > > child. Fibromyalgia, OTOH, has been a problem for

> > under two

> > years. I have

> > > found a moderately successful treatment for my FM,

> > one that has

> > worked for

> > > six months, and I am so vastly pleased I can't

> > even articulate it.

> > >

> > > What has struck me as ironic and bitter about

> > Jeane's posts is that

> > it is a

> > > mirror image of our communal struggle to get the

> > public to

> > recognize

> > > fibromyalgia and CFS. As a group we would be up

> > in arms if told we

> > were

> > > simply indulging in vague, formless symptoms that

> > had no organic

> > > cause. And yet this is essentially what Jeane has

> > said regarding

> > depression.

> > >

> > > Jeane, along with your cheerful outlook, I

> > encourage you to

> > cultivate

> > > compassion. Just because you do not experience

> > something yourself

> > does not

> > > mean it is not very, very real. You would not

> > mock a person with

> > cancer

> > > because you do not believe it exists. And

> > depression,

> > unfortunately, can

> > > be a killer, too. I'm clinically depressed,

> > chronically

> > agoraphobic, and

> > > struggling as well with a number of anxiety

> > problems and

> > > obsessive-compulsive behaviors. Clearly this is

> > not a battle you

> > > share. But it is no less real for that reason.

> > My mother watched

> > me a

> > > year ago, awake for 72 hours, constantly weeping

> > and circling the

> > house and

> > > hardly able to speak, because of my absolute

> > terror of going alone

> > to

> > > Dallas to a friend's wedding. One of my best

> > friends. There was

> > nothing

> > > my mother could do, and there was no way for me to

> > control what was

> > > happening. With my mother's support and

> > encouragement, I called

> > this

> > > friend in tears and explained that I would not be

> > able to attend,

> > and that

> > > I would explain the reasons later, since this was

> > a joyous time in

> > his life.

> > >

> > > Do you honestly think that I wanted to feel that

> > way, or had any

> > control

> > > over the fears that dominated my life and continue

> > to pull me in

> > every

> > > direction? Do I enjoy feeling that way? I no

> > more enjoy it than

> > you enjoy

> > > the pain and frustration of fibromyalgia. And I

> > am fighting it,

> > exactly as

> > > I fight my FM, with every weapon at my disposal,

> > and every ounce of

> > > determination I possess.

> > >

> > > Mental illness isn't a choice. Any more than

> > fibromyalgia was a

> > > choice. Even when we do not experience what

> > someone else is

> > experiencing,

> > > we can at least respect that their experience is

> > valid and serious.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> > > It is the tale, not he who tells it.

> > >

> > > I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise

> > myself.

> > > Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

> > >

> > > Broccoli is bigger than all of us.

> > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>