Guest guest Posted May 20, 2004 Report Share Posted May 20, 2004 Thanks .......I needed a good belly laugh.....You still haven't lost your sense of humor.....thank GOD. C. joke Dying Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered. "Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's all right, go to sleep." "No, no.. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!" "I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "lie still and let the poison work." Express yourself with over 8,000 FREE Email Smileys - click here! Get your FREE personalized email signature at My Mail Signature! "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2004 Report Share Posted May 20, 2004 Thanks .......I needed a good belly laugh.....You still haven't lost your sense of humor.....thank GOD. C. joke Dying Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered. "Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's all right, go to sleep." "No, no.. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!" "I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "lie still and let the poison work." Express yourself with over 8,000 FREE Email Smileys - click here! Get your FREE personalized email signature at My Mail Signature! "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 14, 2004 Report Share Posted June 14, 2004 Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this Beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, " It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. " *-- Babe Ruth I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. *-- Lyndon B. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. *-- Ernest Hemingway When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. *-- Hornung 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. *-- H. L. Mencken When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! *-- Bernard Shaw Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. *-- lin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. *-- Dave Barry BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.! *-- W. C. Fields Remember " I " ! be fore " E " , except in Budweiser. *-- Professor Irwin Corey To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a " support group. " Salvation in a can! *-- Leo Durocher One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the " Buffalo Theory " to his buddy Norm: " Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers. " Get your FREE personalized email signature at My Mail Signature! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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