Guest guest Posted April 6, 2004 Report Share Posted April 6, 2004 In a message dated 4/7/04 1:13:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time, c-clark05@... writes: << Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? >> Cindy, I don't think you should break her wishes.......assume she does have it and be treated as such. The only thing they will do is colonoscopies and that you can have done without knowing for sure.....just let your docs know that this is what is probable and be checked when appropriate. At her age......putting her through this could be very traumatic. I guess after everything I have and I am young, I just can't say I blame her. They may find less invasive ways of checking you all in the near future anyway. In fact they do have a new " pill camera " for checking the intestines and it will become more available soon. I hope this helps, and remember it is just my opinion, nothing more. Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2004 Report Share Posted April 6, 2004 In a message dated 4/7/04 1:13:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time, c-clark05@... writes: << Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? >> Cindy, I don't think you should break her wishes.......assume she does have it and be treated as such. The only thing they will do is colonoscopies and that you can have done without knowing for sure.....just let your docs know that this is what is probable and be checked when appropriate. At her age......putting her through this could be very traumatic. I guess after everything I have and I am young, I just can't say I blame her. They may find less invasive ways of checking you all in the near future anyway. In fact they do have a new " pill camera " for checking the intestines and it will become more available soon. I hope this helps, and remember it is just my opinion, nothing more. Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2004 Report Share Posted April 6, 2004 In a message dated 4/7/04 1:13:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time, c-clark05@... writes: << Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? >> Cindy, I don't think you should break her wishes.......assume she does have it and be treated as such. The only thing they will do is colonoscopies and that you can have done without knowing for sure.....just let your docs know that this is what is probable and be checked when appropriate. At her age......putting her through this could be very traumatic. I guess after everything I have and I am young, I just can't say I blame her. They may find less invasive ways of checking you all in the near future anyway. In fact they do have a new " pill camera " for checking the intestines and it will become more available soon. I hope this helps, and remember it is just my opinion, nothing more. Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 6, 2004 Report Share Posted April 6, 2004 I think that the only time an autopsy is necessary is when the death cause is in question and if there is a benefit to determining if the death may have been the result of a genetic issue that may affect other members of a family. When my mom died, I remember sitting in the room and being a dumb teenager at the time, I asked the doctor who needed me to sign the paperwork if he wanted to do an autopsy, he looked at me and asked 'what on earth for' and he was right. We knew she was filled with cancer, an autopsy wouldn't have shown anything else and if it did, it wasn't going to change her course of treatment nor bring her back. But if there is any doubt what the cause of death is, it's useful I suppose. Jill When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 If I were HER, and was 82 and had to face chemo and such, I would do the same thing as she wants, Cindy. I saw my sister suffer with chemo and radiation for a few lousy months. This is just MY opinion though. This may sound morbid, but in a way, I look forward to death. I won't hasten my parting here, as there are still things I want to do; but if I found I only has a certain amount of time, I would want to spend it in as little pain as possible. Maybe she feels she's had a long enough and good enough life? Love Lana Autopsy/Cancer/EDS When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 AS someone with a VERY STRONG family history of cancer. I think it is VERY important to know becasue if you do have a family history then there are precautions and tests you can have done regularly and also the cost of these tests can also sometimes be covered for those with a family history. Sharon > When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Hi Cindylou -- If it were me at age 81, I wouldn't have any tests either - I would just want to enjoy the time I had left with family and friends - sometimes " ignorance IS bliss " . If you are concerned about this type of cancer running in the family, then there are tests you all can have as a precaution. Take care, Love, Patti Autopsy/Cancer/EDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Hi Cindylou -- If it were me at age 81, I wouldn't have any tests either - I would just want to enjoy the time I had left with family and friends - sometimes " ignorance IS bliss " . If you are concerned about this type of cancer running in the family, then there are tests you all can have as a precaution. Take care, Love, Patti Autopsy/Cancer/EDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Hi Cindylouwho roomie, A friend of mine lost his dad due to colon cancer. He has been told that it can be hereditary, so he goes in for routine Colonoscopies regularly. I am not entirely sure if it is every two years or every five years though... If her doctor feels sure enough that he can attest to it, maybe that would be enough documentation for you? Would you have problems getting insurance coverage for routine tests if it is not proven positively that your mom really had it? I can understand that she at the age of 81 has had it with tests, and it is really fair to respect that. But if you explain to her how much this means, do you think she would give you the approval of getting an autopsy performed, just to check her colon, nothing else? IMHO it would even be totally fair to go against her wishes when it comes to that, should that be necessary, but I also understand that it would be awfully difficult for you to do so. It would be so much better if you could get her to give you permission to do so. If you have problems getting through to her how important this is, that it actually can save your life, maybe her doctor can talk to her about it? You could even tell her that even if she got it really late in life, there is no way of knowing if that would happen to the next person who maybe inherits the disease, so it is really important that if she has it, you have to go for routine testing to catch it early if you also get it. Because as I understood it from my friend, the doctors told him that this kind of cancer they have really big success in curing totally in people, but getting a diagnosis as early as possible is very important. I guess that goes for all cancer, but... By testing him regularly, they mean that he will have the very best chances if he gets it. I actually have two colleagues who has had colon cancer. One of them had it about 15 years ago, and she got lots of her colon removed and got a Colostomy. She has been so happy with it, it works so well for her. She was really lucky, because when she got problems, her doctor told her that it had to be hemorrhoids. Luckily she did not buy his explanation, and kept pushing him to have tests done. Thank God she did... Last year another colleague of us kept losing weight for no reason, and had an " upset stomach " . We pushed and pushed on her to go to her doctor, for months, but she only got really grumpy towards us. We had a really bad feeling about it though, so we kept on pushing. I mean, she lost over 50 lbs, and we were really worried. When she finally got to her doc, she had a huge tumor. Luckily she had successful surgery, didn't even need a Colostomy or chemo/radiation. She is doing just great now, but she was on a sick leave for a quite long time. She just retired a few weeks ago. Just my NOK .50 worth... hugs, Aase Marit > > Autopsy/Cancer/EDS > > > When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she >goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr >thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important >is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough >that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She >has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you >all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Hi Cindylouwho roomie, A friend of mine lost his dad due to colon cancer. He has been told that it can be hereditary, so he goes in for routine Colonoscopies regularly. I am not entirely sure if it is every two years or every five years though... If her doctor feels sure enough that he can attest to it, maybe that would be enough documentation for you? Would you have problems getting insurance coverage for routine tests if it is not proven positively that your mom really had it? I can understand that she at the age of 81 has had it with tests, and it is really fair to respect that. But if you explain to her how much this means, do you think she would give you the approval of getting an autopsy performed, just to check her colon, nothing else? IMHO it would even be totally fair to go against her wishes when it comes to that, should that be necessary, but I also understand that it would be awfully difficult for you to do so. It would be so much better if you could get her to give you permission to do so. If you have problems getting through to her how important this is, that it actually can save your life, maybe her doctor can talk to her about it? You could even tell her that even if she got it really late in life, there is no way of knowing if that would happen to the next person who maybe inherits the disease, so it is really important that if she has it, you have to go for routine testing to catch it early if you also get it. Because as I understood it from my friend, the doctors told him that this kind of cancer they have really big success in curing totally in people, but getting a diagnosis as early as possible is very important. I guess that goes for all cancer, but... By testing him regularly, they mean that he will have the very best chances if he gets it. I actually have two colleagues who has had colon cancer. One of them had it about 15 years ago, and she got lots of her colon removed and got a Colostomy. She has been so happy with it, it works so well for her. She was really lucky, because when she got problems, her doctor told her that it had to be hemorrhoids. Luckily she did not buy his explanation, and kept pushing him to have tests done. Thank God she did... Last year another colleague of us kept losing weight for no reason, and had an " upset stomach " . We pushed and pushed on her to go to her doctor, for months, but she only got really grumpy towards us. We had a really bad feeling about it though, so we kept on pushing. I mean, she lost over 50 lbs, and we were really worried. When she finally got to her doc, she had a huge tumor. Luckily she had successful surgery, didn't even need a Colostomy or chemo/radiation. She is doing just great now, but she was on a sick leave for a quite long time. She just retired a few weeks ago. Just my NOK .50 worth... hugs, Aase Marit > > Autopsy/Cancer/EDS > > > When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she >goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr >thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important >is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough >that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She >has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you >all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Hi Cindylouwho roomie, A friend of mine lost his dad due to colon cancer. He has been told that it can be hereditary, so he goes in for routine Colonoscopies regularly. I am not entirely sure if it is every two years or every five years though... If her doctor feels sure enough that he can attest to it, maybe that would be enough documentation for you? Would you have problems getting insurance coverage for routine tests if it is not proven positively that your mom really had it? I can understand that she at the age of 81 has had it with tests, and it is really fair to respect that. But if you explain to her how much this means, do you think she would give you the approval of getting an autopsy performed, just to check her colon, nothing else? IMHO it would even be totally fair to go against her wishes when it comes to that, should that be necessary, but I also understand that it would be awfully difficult for you to do so. It would be so much better if you could get her to give you permission to do so. If you have problems getting through to her how important this is, that it actually can save your life, maybe her doctor can talk to her about it? You could even tell her that even if she got it really late in life, there is no way of knowing if that would happen to the next person who maybe inherits the disease, so it is really important that if she has it, you have to go for routine testing to catch it early if you also get it. Because as I understood it from my friend, the doctors told him that this kind of cancer they have really big success in curing totally in people, but getting a diagnosis as early as possible is very important. I guess that goes for all cancer, but... By testing him regularly, they mean that he will have the very best chances if he gets it. I actually have two colleagues who has had colon cancer. One of them had it about 15 years ago, and she got lots of her colon removed and got a Colostomy. She has been so happy with it, it works so well for her. She was really lucky, because when she got problems, her doctor told her that it had to be hemorrhoids. Luckily she did not buy his explanation, and kept pushing him to have tests done. Thank God she did... Last year another colleague of us kept losing weight for no reason, and had an " upset stomach " . We pushed and pushed on her to go to her doctor, for months, but she only got really grumpy towards us. We had a really bad feeling about it though, so we kept on pushing. I mean, she lost over 50 lbs, and we were really worried. When she finally got to her doc, she had a huge tumor. Luckily she had successful surgery, didn't even need a Colostomy or chemo/radiation. She is doing just great now, but she was on a sick leave for a quite long time. She just retired a few weeks ago. Just my NOK .50 worth... hugs, Aase Marit > > Autopsy/Cancer/EDS > > > When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she >goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr >thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important >is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough >that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She >has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you >all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 I couldn't break her wishes...... I'd feel guilty the rest of my life........ but thats just how I am....... everyone see's that differently....... am sure whichever you decided to do- you'd have a slew of friends by your side - no matter what the decision is. Hugs TJ God Bless And Hugs- Love Moon Autopsy/Cancer/EDS When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 I couldn't break her wishes...... I'd feel guilty the rest of my life........ but thats just how I am....... everyone see's that differently....... am sure whichever you decided to do- you'd have a slew of friends by your side - no matter what the decision is. Hugs TJ God Bless And Hugs- Love Moon Autopsy/Cancer/EDS When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 I couldn't break her wishes...... I'd feel guilty the rest of my life........ but thats just how I am....... everyone see's that differently....... am sure whichever you decided to do- you'd have a slew of friends by your side - no matter what the decision is. Hugs TJ God Bless And Hugs- Love Moon Autopsy/Cancer/EDS When my 81 year old passes, I'm in charge. She has asked that she goes straight to the crematory, no viewing, no autopsy. Well, her Dr thinks strongly that mom may have colon cancer. Just how important is it for us to know if she does have colon cancer? Important enough that I break her wishes? She refuses the tests to find out now. She has had a long painful life and she says no more tests. What do you all think? how important is it to know? Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 I think maybe I explained my question wrong. I wasn't asking if she should have the colon tests now, just after she passed. I would never put her through any tests again as long as she is here, mom wants to go " home " . Tomorrow is not soon enough for her. My question was after she passes, should I have an autopsy to find out if she did indeed have colon cancer. Is that was realy important for the rest of us to know? I suppose when the day comes, I will just have to go with my gut instint and hopefully a Dr to stear me right at the time. Thanks all to your responces. They are diverce as my feelings on the matter. I guess what I need to find out, is how important is it to know if she does/did have it. I'll ask a DR. or two. Thanks all, Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 I think maybe I explained my question wrong. I wasn't asking if she should have the colon tests now, just after she passed. I would never put her through any tests again as long as she is here, mom wants to go " home " . Tomorrow is not soon enough for her. My question was after she passes, should I have an autopsy to find out if she did indeed have colon cancer. Is that was realy important for the rest of us to know? I suppose when the day comes, I will just have to go with my gut instint and hopefully a Dr to stear me right at the time. Thanks all to your responces. They are diverce as my feelings on the matter. I guess what I need to find out, is how important is it to know if she does/did have it. I'll ask a DR. or two. Thanks all, Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 I think maybe I explained my question wrong. I wasn't asking if she should have the colon tests now, just after she passed. I would never put her through any tests again as long as she is here, mom wants to go " home " . Tomorrow is not soon enough for her. My question was after she passes, should I have an autopsy to find out if she did indeed have colon cancer. Is that was realy important for the rest of us to know? I suppose when the day comes, I will just have to go with my gut instint and hopefully a Dr to stear me right at the time. Thanks all to your responces. They are diverce as my feelings on the matter. I guess what I need to find out, is how important is it to know if she does/did have it. I'll ask a DR. or two. Thanks all, Cindylouwho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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